#9535796, By Salaman National Novel Writing Month 2012

  • Salaman 29 Apr 2013 10:33:59 23,035 posts
    Seen 22 hours ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Excellent chapter Blerk. I was reading it on my mobile phone, so I had sort of accepted that it was going to be too much of a hassle to highlight typos and stuff, so I'd just read it and comment on content.

    Didn't notice any typos though. \0/

    There was a point in the chapter where they have come to realise just how far "they" are willing to go. Genocide, etc. And where Jake is thinking how scientists must have been involved with this. I fully expected him to then think back to his wife Chloe at this point. How upset she had been that last night and how her refusal to be involved in genocide had gotten her killed. He doesn't though, which seemed a bit odd to me.

    I think it was at this point.
    I frowned to myself. The fact that Sanderford probably had some of the scientists helping him to commit such atrocities left an even worse taste in my mouth. That some of the greatest minds the world had ever produced should be reduced to that level was almost obscene, and I very much hoped that they hadnít realised just how their efforts were being abused.

    Otherwise all is well. Good chapter. Seems to be moving forward a bit with the revelation of this weapon in place.
    I can't believe you killed off Carter you bastard! ;-)
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