#9263693, By silentbob Childlessness

  • silentbob 2 Jan 2013 12:16:32 29,491 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Psychotext wrote:
    kalel wrote:
    It genuinely saddens me to read people saying things like "I don't want to not have my life not be my own" or cite finances or time as reasons to not have kids.
    ...and finances aren't important? I grew up in a poor family and I know how hard life could be at times when I watched my parents desperately struggling to try to get the money together to pay the bills or buy clothes for us.

    As for time, if you're purely career minded then I don't think you should have kids either. I know many people who were brought up by nurseries, babysitters and boarding schools. Some of them genuinely spent under an hour a day with their parents on average when they were young... and that's really not acceptable.

    (I know these extremes weren't the point you were trying to make, but they're valid if you don't want your child to suffer in one way or another)
    I think the point is that it wasn't for fear of the kids suffering but that they or their career or their finances would.

    My wife's parents had six kids and were hellishly poor, but her parents wouldn't change anything.

    The key issue in this thread is the rationalisation of having kids. In my opinion it cannot be done. This is not something you can weigh up in a spreadsheet nor is it a decision to be made based on speculation on what might happen.

    Bottom line, if you don't feel as if you want kids that's really all that matters. Pasting over that feeling with semi-structured reasoning won't give you any reinforcement for that feeling of any merit whatsoever.

    Edited by silentbob at 12:17:21 02-01-2013
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