#12050673, By Carbon_Altered NaNoWriMo 2017 aka write ten pages then give up

  • Carbon_Altered 16 Nov 2017 13:44:33 870 posts
    Seen 2 weeks ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    @The12thMonkey NaNo 17 Part The Next, Holly and Alice. Great action, I found it so easy to visualise what was happening. I also like the format of same disaster (I think) different people. They are all strangers at the moment, but a common element ties it nicely.

    My one perdantic question is how feasible it is for an average woman to pull an (average) white van man from the wreckage then support his weight running away.

    Part 8 - Dean. I liked the initial humour about his father, you found a neat way to interweave in a bit of backstory without it jarring for me.

    I'm still not sure about Dean from a practical standard. He doesn't help with any other aspects of the boat (eg scrubbing with the others) but nor does he stand by the radio, instead off (not) to do a Kate Winslet impression! Maybe you're aiming to make him seem a bit useless, cos at the moment I identify more with the resentful First Mate!

    09 - Holly. The fact you introduced the tsunami in the last chapter with a different character and have it make landfall in this one is another nice link. My only issue was the description of their escape into and onto the top of the church - I struggled to follow exactly what happened, although the end result was perfectly clear.

    Good stuff so far! Although I kind of hope someone dies. I know that is awful, but in disastrous openings it adds some oomph. I remember James Herbert using this approach in his disaster epics.
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