Ah you're aiming for a short story? Judging from the pacing and the chapters I was assuming that you were going for something closer to a novel. But no worries. First of all follow you story to its conclusion and then we can see how to polish it. Right now follow your characters where they lead, everything else is built from that. In the end the “mistakes” you make during the writing of the story now will help you learn a lot about the craft and how to build a proper story in far shorter time that trying to do it the right way from the beginning. Having your own examples and working out why some parts work while others don’t will provide you with far more lightbulb moments as when trying to learn it in a more abstract way.
I’m looking forward to the rest.
sunjumper 3,490 posts
Seen 54 minutes ago
Registered 17 years ago