#6417669, By Jackface Rate the last film you watched out of 100

  • Jackface 1 Aug 2010 14:19:55 3,736 posts
    Seen 8 years ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    RedPanda wrote:
    DUFFMAN5 wrote:
    RedPanda wrote:
    2012 - facepalm/10

    I want to punch everyone involved in making this film. And everyone who saw it and then went on to buy it on DVD for rewatches needs to be sterilised for the good of mankind.

    Can I ask why ?
    I need cool hard facts re the total hate.

    It essentially has many things I despise about Hollywood blockbusters and amplifies them by a factor of 100

    1. CGI 'Stunts' that are utterly preposterous and contrived.
    2. The lead character always managed to be in the right place at the right time for some big CGI effect.
    3. The building of tension with time limits and countdowns which are then completely ignored while some emoting or speechifying is done.
    4. Ridiculous science that is then not followed through. For instance the comprehensive destruction of the planet in a way thats a billion times more serious than say, Yellowstone park super-volcano errupting on its own, that would fuck the world up for centuries in itself, somehow is temporary enough in its effects that no-one seems to have aged more than a year maybe on the ships before the atmosphere is all cool and hey, lets all go to Africa!
    5. The fucking animals. Let's cram in teh biblical Noah bit.
    6. What was the 'he died in the same place as Princess Diana' bit in aid of? Oh wait, clearly all Americans think that was a conspiracy so his death was too. Fuck off.
    7. There wasn't a sequel with them all eating first the animals, then each other, trapped on these ships as the Earth dies.
    8. How the fuck did Mayans have a clue about neutrinos 'mutating' and cooking the Earth's core.
    9. The thought that the film made $767,918,347 according to wikipedia. That in itself makes me want the human race to be wiped out. Hopefully on 2011 just to fuck up the expectations of the bunch of lunatics we seem to share the planet with.
    10. I kept expecting the Geology guy to whip out a sword, stab his arsehole boss and say 'this is a good death'. Which would have been better than the rest of the movie put together.

    Edit: added spoiler tags although I would say seeing the film will spoil your life more than reading my spoilers.

    What an awful lot of venom for something that is basically supposed to be absolutely prepostorous formulaic predictable bilge. That's it's entire raison d'etre! It's from the makers of Independance Day and Godzilla, for heaven's sake! Sort of like harbouring murderous rage for The Sun because you think it's written like it's aimed at neanderthals!

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