'Random news articles that don't warrant their own threads' thread. Page 303

  • askew 24 Dec 2019 07:53:06 20,531 posts
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    Technoishmatt wrote:
    Put our milkman on hold as we are away up north.

    But found Channel Island milk at Tesco. Pasteurized, non homogenized, with extra fat content. My son is lapping it ups
  • Nexus_6 24 Dec 2019 09:13:33 4,435 posts
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    FFS!
  • nudistpete 24 Dec 2019 10:12:39 1,058 posts
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    My missus dropped the "can you pick me up some sausagemeat?" bombshell as I was leaving for work this morning. Got to Tesco's for about 8:10, carpark was pretty much full to the brim, was being stalked for my space as I was leaving.

    Now I'm battling to remember to get the sausagemeat from the fridge before I fuck off for xxxmas.
  • mrpon 24 Dec 2019 10:18:15 35,741 posts
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    Where's the news article pete?!
  • nudistpete 24 Dec 2019 10:24:55 1,058 posts
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    It was on the previous page about "Panic at the Tesco"
  • X201 24 Dec 2019 10:35:20 19,799 posts
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    @nudistpete
    Donít forget the sausagemeat
  • mrpon 24 Dec 2019 11:08:12 35,741 posts
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    Let you off!! :)

    Don't forget the sausagepete
  • Load_2.0 24 Dec 2019 18:39:48 30,446 posts
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    nudistpete wrote:
    My missus dropped the "can you pick me up some sausagemeat?" bombshell as I was leaving for work this morning.
    Fnaaarrrr!
  • askew 24 Dec 2019 18:55:38 20,531 posts
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    Nexus_6 wrote:
    FFS!
    :lol:
  • X201 24 Dec 2019 19:52:56 19,799 posts
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    Did Pete remember?
    Is there going to be a heartwarming tale of him forgetting but then managing to acquire some after a frantic search?

    Or is he sleeping in the spare room all over Christmas?
  • nudistpete 24 Dec 2019 20:01:16 1,058 posts
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    I remembered. I ate my wife's sausage rolls with cranberry earlier. That's not to say I won't be sleeping on the settee later, sure I'll make some kind of festive faux pas later...
  • X201 24 Dec 2019 23:34:18 19,799 posts
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    Man robs bank and throws money in the air

    I wonít spoil the last line for you, but itís a belter by whoever copped for Christmas Eve on the BBC news desk rota :D

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50908018
  • freddymercurystwin 25 Dec 2019 12:07:01 1,830 posts
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    nudistpete wrote:
    My missus dropped the "can you pick me up some sausagemeat?" bombshell as I was leaving for work this morning.
    My wife text me to ask for something from the supermarket at 4pm yesterday as I was on the way back from taking the kids out, not a hope in hell! :)
  • simpleexplodingmaybe 26 Dec 2019 00:30:27 12,038 posts
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    X201 wrote:
    Man robs bank and throws money in the air

    I wonít spoil the last line for you, but itís a belter by whoever copped for Christmas Eve on the BBC news desk rota :D

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50908018
    Excellent work
  • Jono62 4 Jan 2020 10:06:44 23,338 posts
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    https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/fury-muslim-mcdonalds-customer-mistakenly-17448021

    He ordered an egg and cheese muffin and got a sausage and egg one. Didn't he think the cheese looked odd when he opened it?
  • fontgeeksogood 4 Jan 2020 10:28:45 8,342 posts
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    There's more than one bite out of that
  • RichDC 4 Jan 2020 12:08:11 8,655 posts
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    "I AM OUTRAGED AND ONLY A LARGE FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT CAN REMEDY THIS"
  • Immaterial 6 Jan 2020 17:50:20 2,338 posts
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    Plymouth man denies attack with seagull
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-51013458

    Seagulls don't need accomplices.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 6 Jan 2020 20:00:35 7,407 posts
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    RichDC wrote:
    "I AM OUTRAGED AND ONLY A LARGE FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT CAN REMEDY THIS"
    He's made it onto #compoface
  • Jono62 13 Jan 2020 19:41:52 23,338 posts
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    Now your rooms can smell like Gwyneth's vag

    https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jan/13/why-is-gwyneth-paltrow-selling-a-candle-that-smells-like-her-vagina-goop

    https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/this-smells-like-my-vagina-candle?country=GBR
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 13 Jan 2020 19:42:42 7,407 posts
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    We know where this is headed:

    https://newsthump.com/2020/01/13/gwyneth-paltrow-to-sell-pot-pourri-scented-like-her-bumhole/
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 13 Jan 2020 19:54:16 22,213 posts
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    She's such a twat.
  • Load_2.0 13 Jan 2020 19:55:08 30,446 posts
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    Oldie but a goodie. Meth is basically super powers.

    https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/andrew-frey-meth-masturbating_n_4518225?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJADzyvFdg8S7yQtBwdGEOK1SB26bFBUBYX8FY3obUDuGVmP7n1dlkfiwSxJ8JSvzessR_C_PMwSjmEmvKxAv0gIlMZVv1WRHSmGw5EmCIkXW8VBnp79uUAxPaknV7femQzd03bBPPYiYw1tqrADOVQgHSj7z1KLB0JY1qC4xUsX
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 13 Jan 2020 20:01:52 7,407 posts
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    The dangleberries thing is a great idea. She could sell them as Gwynnits.

    Edited by Rogueywon at 20:04:23 13-01-2020
  • JamboWayOh 13 Jan 2020 20:02:40 16,597 posts
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    I'll have to smell her vag. Just to be sure.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 14 Jan 2020 13:49:05 7,407 posts
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    And going alongside the above, we have the recent explosion in number of crisp flavours.

    Surely it can only be a matter of time until Walkers roll out a "Paltrow's Minge" flavour. Guess they just need to mix together the flavourings for Prawn Cocktail with Cheese & Onion.
  • askew 14 Jan 2020 13:50:37 20,531 posts
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    :|
  • Graxlar_v3 14 Jan 2020 13:51:55 8,763 posts
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    Rogueywon wrote:
    And going alongside the above, we have the recent explosion in number of crisp flavours.

    Surely it can only be a matter of time until Walkers roll out a "Paltrow's Minge" flavour. Guess they just need to mix together the flavourings for Prawn Cocktail with Cheese & Onion.
    :) that made me just chuckle out loud in the office.
  • TechnoHippy 14 Jan 2020 14:17:45 15,838 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    Oldie but a goodie. Meth is basically super powers.

    https://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/andrew-frey-meth-masturbating_n_4518225?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJADzyvFdg8S7yQtBwdGEOK1SB26bFBUBYX8FY3obUDuGVmP7n1dlkfiwSxJ8JSvzessR_C_PMwSjmEmvKxAv0gIlMZVv1WRHSmGw5EmCIkXW8VBnp79uUAxPaknV7femQzd03bBPPYiYw1tqrADOVQgHSj7z1KLB0JY1qC4xUsX
    'Men can multitask' is my favourite comment :-)
  • TechnoHippy 16 Jan 2020 14:59:35 15,838 posts
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    Randy bugger - https://news.yahoo.com/komodo-dragon-destroyed-bbc-camera-by-trying-to-have-sex-with-it-115733243.html
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