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I am positive I have heard about people dying when falling over with brooms up their arses. Close escape. |
You have been caught wanking? • Page 5
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nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 16 years ago -
FWB 56,369 posts
Seen 6 months ago
Registered 20 years agoA guy I knew ages ago was very open about it. You'd call up his house, his mum would answer the phone and shout out to him. His response would be, "Take a message, I'll call back later. I'm just having a wank". -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 15 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoLOL! 
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nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoIf my old mate adam jacked it half as much as he said he did, it would have worn down to a nub by now.
He used to go home at lunchtimes to have 'a wank and a sandwich'. -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 15 hours ago
Registered 20 years ago\o/
Who'd a known being a sexual deviant would amount to so much! ^_^ -
Psychotext 70,652 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 15 years agoThinking about it... the missus has almost caught me a couple of times, and I'm not sure why I'm concerned about it.
I've caught her loads of times and it's never bothered her one bit. -
yegon 6,511 posts
Seen 5 months ago
Registered 18 years agoLad at uni I knew was a proud wanker. He lived in a flat overlooked by some offices. While in the act he noticed a load of people watching from the offices. Normal people would go 'fuck' and pull up their pants, but not him, he started pumping his hips up and down and all manner of other funky moves. Then again, this guy was proud to admit being arrested by the cops for being sucked off by a toothless old prozzie under the IT centre. -
I still can't think of Razz without a broomstick appearing close by in my mind. -
Shinji 5,902 posts
Seen 8 years ago
Registered 20 years agoRazz wrote:
Shinji wrote:
gLOL!
/thread
That's right up there with going up to my bathroom during a drunken party and discovering a girl chasing another giggling girl around the room spraying her with water from an anal douche. She thought it was for watering plants :/
I can't believe I missed this post!
Shinji, did you ever tell them what it was for? XD
Of course. Would have been rude not to.
Frankly they should have worked out something was amiss from the fact that it was hidden way at the back of the shelves next to a bottle of lubricant... -
yupyup 3,701 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agokalel wrote:
yupyup wrote:
.gif)
at this thread.
How today's yoof are spoiled. In my day there was 30 minute window a week when Eurotrash aired to get your jollies. Or for the more desperate, gamble on a TV5 film. 45 minutes later you've realised you've just accidentally endured some bollocks drama and added to your French vocabulary.
Remember "Dream On"?
One show in three had about 4 seconds worth of tit in it, but you had to be "ready" just in case!
I'd forgotten all about Dream On!
1am-ish on Sky iirc. Ah the memories -
squarejawhero wrote:
Can't believe nobody's linked this yet.
OK, nobody interested?
It's official - you guys suck. -
I was caught shagging Mrs Retroid by her younger (then aged 15) sister when she walked into the bedroom.
"Don't worry, she'll knock first"
:s -
Psychotext 70,652 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 15 years agoRetroid wrote:
RAWR?
I was caught shagging Mrs Retroid by her younger (then aged 15) sister when she walked into the bedroom.
=D -
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squarejawhero wrote:
squarejawhero wrote:
Can't believe nobody's linked this yet.
OK, nobody interested?
It's official - you guys suck.
Hey, gave me a boner
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askew 24,121 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 16 years agoI was experimenting with the old slide it in between two pillows. And my sister came in, wanting to borrow some film.
And noticed me lying on top of my bed, naked with these two pillows. She then ran off to get my mum.
I think I was 15.
Damn. I don't think she's forgotten. We've never spoken about it since, but it's just lurking, waiting to embarrass me at some future event. -
twelveways 7,131 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 15 years agoPost deleted -
Khanivor 44,800 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 20 years agoNever been blatantly caught in the act but sheer frequency must have meant me ma knew what was going on behind me doors from time to time. Having an attic bedroom for the last four or so years I lived at home was a real boon though, especially if I could get the girl down the stairs to the ground floor and out the door without being intercepted by parents.
Anyone else remember the Red Triangle films on Channel 4? Pre Sat1, that's where it all started, (moving images-wise) for me -
Timmy 9,244 posts
Seen 2 months ago
Registered 17 years ago"You have been caught wanking?"
That doesn't make sense. That's not a question. It's a statement...
Anyway, no I've never been caught cracking one off. Not yet at least... -
There used to be something on BBC Two (I think) late at night on...I think a Tuesday. Right after Quantum Leap. That showed boobies and whatnot quite a bit, as it was basically just a series of random erotic dramas.
Though that was when I was about 9 (which would've made it 1989/90ish), so it was more a case of "teehee, naughty things" than punching one out of the lizard.
'specially given it was only a small black and white 4 incher.
...
The TV, I mean. -
Sid-Nice 15,848 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoWhat a bunch of wankers. -
chopsen 21,958 posts
Seen 49 minutes ago
Registered 16 years agoMetalDog wrote:
Would you find it complimentary to stumble upon a woman you didn't know doing the kit-kat shuffle and gurning through a peephole at you?
And before you unzip your fly to that thought, bear in mind that in reality her attractiveness (even while not red, sweaty and gurning) is likely to be either strictly average to low, given that we're talking 'train guard' here, not 'model'.
So it's ok to do indecent exposure if you're good looking?
/takes notes -
Sucram 254 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoecureuil wrote:
I like how we're reminiscing about dodgy soft-core porn we used to watch on TV. Waiting 'til parents went to bed so we could watch Eurotrash, or any other soft porn, suffering adverts and waiting for some tits and 2 minutes of very fake sex that might occur. What with the internet, kids these days just don't know how easy they have it!
Ah, the horror of getting your timing wrong and finding you've whacked off to a Vauxhall advert. -
Lexx87 wrote:
squarejawhero wrote:
squarejawhero wrote:
Can't believe nobody's linked this yet.
OK, nobody interested?
It's official - you guys suck.
Hey, gave me a boner
Phoebe Cates circa the eighties with short hair showing her boobs FTW! -
MetalDog 24,076 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 20 years agoI was just trying to pre-empt the 'I'd do her' comments that followed anyway =) That and most guys aren't fantastic looking either, although they seem to be better at forgetting they're not. -
Partially that they're better at forgetting that they're not, partially that they're just not as bothered about it in general - even after the metrosexual revolution has had its wicked way, we still don't have the same level of self-image awareness that women have.
Plus, we're more likely to find a woman doing the kit kat shuffle - no matter how unattractive - very, very funny, rather than shockingly offensive
.gif)
at this thread.
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