Lexx87 wrote: Would you find it complimentary to stumble upon a woman you didn't know doing the kit-kat shuffle and gurning through a peephole at you? And before you unzip your fly to that thought, bear in mind that in reality her attractiveness (even while not red, sweaty and gurning) is likely to be either strictly average to low, given that we're talking 'train guard' here, not 'model'. |
You have been caught wanking? • Page 4
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MetalDog 24,076 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 20 years ago -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agoafghan_jones wrote:
Was your mum dead proud and always tell people "my Razz keeps his room nice and tidy, hes always taking the broom to sweep up in there."
xD -
yupyup 3,701 posts
Seen 14 hours ago
Registered 16 years ago.gif)
at this thread.
How today's yoof are spoiled. In my day there was 30 minute window a week when Eurotrash aired to get your jollies. Or for the more desperate, gamble on a TV5 film. 45 minutes later you've realised you've just accidentally endured some bollocks drama and added to your French vocabulary. -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoI blame American Pie for my perversion. That or I'm a sexual masochist. I prefer the former. -
catterz 8,763 posts
Seen 8 years ago
Registered 19 years agoDamn you Razz! I hurt myself trying not to laugh at that with a mouthful of Pepsi Max.
Also, people around the office think I'm strange(r). -
yupyup wrote:
at this thread.
How today's yoof are spoiled. In my day there was 30 minute window a week when Eurotrash aired to get your jollies. Or for the more desperate, gamble on a TV5 film. 45 minutes later you've realised you've just accidentally endured some bollocks drama and added to your French vocabulary.
Remember "Dream On"?
One show in three had about 4 seconds worth of tit in it, but you had to be "ready" just in case! -
MetalDog wrote:
Lexx87 wrote:
I've never understood why girls don't find it a compliment..
Would you find it complimentary to stumble upon a woman you didn't know doing the kit-kat shuffle and gurning through a peephole at you?
And before you unzip your fly to that thought, bear in mind that in reality her attractiveness (even while not red, sweaty and gurning) is likely to be either strictly average to low, given that we're talking 'train guard' here, not 'model'.
You would go in there and fuck her wouldn't you?
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Anyone joining the thread here, please visit page 3, the RazzBroom has EG Legend potential.
I didn't want anyone to miss that. -
Lukus 24,639 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 17 years agoI was once having a wank on my bed at home when after a bit my dad knocked on the door, which I was pretty sure was locked. So I replied "yeah?"
...
It wasn't locked. He walked in, and I hurriedly managed to cover my never-regions with the duvet. However it transpired the boxer shorts down round the ankles of my exposed bare legs, combined with a red-faced embarrassment were a bit of a give away.
Cue two minutes of the most awkward token chat I've ever experienced in my life with neither of us acknowledging the terrible misfortune we were both encountering.
It has never been mentioned since. -
Lutz 48,870 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoMetalDog wrote:
I honestly wood.*
Would you find it complimentary to stumble upon a woman you didn't know doing the kit-kat shuffle and gurning through a peephole at you?
Great choice of phrase there too MD.
*See what I did there?! DIDJA?! Try the veal. All you can eat, £300. -
CyberClaw 2,085 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 19 years agoJediMasterMalik wrote:
Yea, a gigolo...
He suggested you become a prostitute?
Well he was kidding of course, but let's be honest, how many of us never thought of making money through sex, either by prostitution or being a porn star? -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agoRazz wrote:
when I living at my mums house I sometimes liked to stick an used wooden broom pole in my arse when I have a wank. One time my dog ran in and bit onto it and pulled it out then bolted off. The bitch. I threw on some clothes and and went to retrieve my love pole before someone notices what it's been used for. I run downstairs to the kitchen only to find my dog and sister playing tug of war holding the end that had just been in my arse. Thankfully she thought it was a manky old broom handle. :/
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afghan_jones 3,040 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 15 years agoLukus wrote:
I was once having a wank on my bed at home when after a bit my dad knocked on the door, which I was pretty sure was locked. So I replied "yeah?"
...
It wasn't locked. He walked in, and I hurriedly managed to cover my never-regions with the duvet. However it transpired the boxer shorts down round the ankles of my exposed bare legs, combined with a red-faced embarrassment were a bit of a give away.
Cue two minutes of the most awkward token chat I've ever experienced in my life with neither of us acknowledging the terrible misfortune we were both encountering.
It has never been mentioned since.
Could have been worse. You could have been sweeping out your back passage a la Razz. -
yegon 6,511 posts
Seen 5 months ago
Registered 18 years agoMetalDog wrote:
And before you unzip your fly to that thought, bear in mind that in reality her attractiveness (even while not red, sweaty and gurning) is likely to be either strictly average to low, given that we're talking 'train guard' here, not 'model'.
LOL! Aye, and women on the railway are usually spectacularly below average. There's 300+ people at our depot alone, about 260 are blokes, 38 fat biffers and two hotties. I go all over the place and I don't recall seeing more than 10 fit rail workers in 4 years. -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agoRazz, weren't you ever worried about getting splinters inside your arse?
/ squirms uncomfortably -
HarryPalmer 6,357 posts
Seen 14 hours ago
Registered 15 years agowhen i first discovered the Internet i downloaded a load of pics saved them to the default location - happened to be MyPictures, then forgot about them. Later to find that the screen saver was set to play a slideshow of all the pics in...MyPictures. Embarrassment and lying ensued. -
Hmm, about the broom handle, how far up did you go? More than two inches, you're gay. -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agoecureuil wrote:
Then there's this classic.. (NSFW)
The expression on her face is priceless! -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoJuanKerr wrote:
Not really. It was varnished. I was worried about possible posioning from the varnish though. But not till many months later. I used that pole for a good couple of years before moving on to more sterile things. From what I gather you have to heat varnish to high temperature before it melts and causes any toxic effect to your body.
Razz, weren't you ever worried about getting splinters inside your arse?
/ squirms uncomfortably
TMI -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agoRazz wrote:
JuanKerr wrote:
Not really. It was varnished. I was worried about possible posioning from the varnish though. But not till many months later. I used that pole for a good couple of years before moving on to more sterile things. From what I gather you have to heat varnish to high temperature before it melts and causes any toxic effect to your body.
Razz, weren't you ever worried about getting splinters inside your arse?
/ squirms uncomfortably
TMI
I love the way you've actually researched this!
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johnlenham 4,000 posts
Seen 6 months ago
Registered 14 years agoShinji wrote:
Razz wrote:
That's nothing when I living at my mums house I sometimes liked to stick an used wooden broom pole in my arse when I have a wank. One time my dog ran in and bit onto it and pulled it out then bolted off. The bitch. I threw on some clothes and and went to retrieve my love pole before someone notices what it's been used for. I run downstairs to the kitchen only to find my dog and sister playing tug of war holding the end that had just been in my arse. Thankfully she thought it was a manky old broom handle. :/
/thread
That's right up there with going up to my bathroom during a drunken party and discovering a girl chasing another giggling girl around the room spraying her with water from an anal douche. She thought it was for watering plants :/
That lots just near killed me with laughter.
I think me and my gf have been caught by just about every member of her family and most of mine.
I distinctly remember my mum saying to my nan about how me and her nhad been at it like rabbits
but ive also walked in on my brother and his X who i didnt like in the top bed of our bunk bed, noticed that next to the bottom bunk (my bed) was an empty comdon wrapper.
picked it up and shoved it in my pocket and walked out as they hid under the covers pretending to be asleep at 6pm.
Later that night i came down and he was on the couch with her under a huge throw thing with what looked like her bra hanging out.
I then walked over and said i think you droped something and threw the packet at them.
Should have seen there faces -
opalw00t 12,836 posts
Seen 4 days ago
Registered 17 years agoRazz, Razz, Razz.
/shakes head -
BanjoMan wrote:
The grammar of the thread title makes me think it's in a German accent.
GLOL!!! -
MrWorf 64,187 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 20 years agoShinji wrote:
gLOL!
/thread
That's right up there with going up to my bathroom during a drunken party and discovering a girl chasing another giggling girl around the room spraying her with water from an anal douche. She thought it was for watering plants :/
I can't believe I missed this post!
Shinji, did you ever tell them what it was for? XD -
It's like my first encounter with the really low drinking fountain in the bathroom. -
Lutz 48,870 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoPES_Fanboy wrote:
/Covers eyes in fear
It's like my first encounter with the really low drinking fountain in the bathroom.
/peeks between 2 fingers. -
_Price_ 3,072 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 15 years agoRazz wrote:
JuanKerr wrote:
Not really. It was varnished. I was worried about possible posioning from the varnish though. But not till many months later. I used that pole for a good couple of years before moving on to more sterile things. From what I gather you have to heat varnish to high temperature before it melts and causes any toxic effect to your body.
Razz, weren't you ever worried about getting splinters inside your arse?
/ squirms uncomfortably
TMI
: ) Is the general concensus that Razz has single-handedly made this thread?
At least I assume he could only have been only using one of them at the time.... -
Had one of my cousins walk in on me... could have sworn the door was locked. =( Burnt into my memory that one is.
Though still amused at the ability to jump about 4 foot into the air desperately trying to cover up.
.gif)
at this thread.
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