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I started a new job today as a church bell ringer. As it's my first day thought they're only showing me the ropes. |
Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes? • Page 57
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Lutz 48,870 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Lutz 48,870 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoA guy goes into a Scottish baker's.
"How much is that cake?"
"A poond."
"And how much is that one?"
"A poond. All ma cakes are a poond!"
"Oh, OK. What about that one?"
"Ach, that one's two poonds."
"Oh. Why's that then?" "That's Madeira cake."...gif)
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What's blue and smells like red paint
Blue paint
Edited by DrStrangelove at 19:59:02 17-11-2016 -
mal 29,326 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 20 years agoWhy do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose -
pk1980 1,231 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 5 years agoWhat's ET short for?
Because he has small legs. -
quadfather 39,069 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 11 years agoI've just had an audition for embarrassing bodies because i was a bit worried that one of my testicles was bigger than the other two. -
Tonka 31,979 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 18 years agoDoctor, there's a black window on my screen and it won't go away! Is it terminal? -
Whats the name of the guys sat above my window ?
Kurt n Paul -
robc84 15,553 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 9 years agoI did really well in the parish fun run last week. I was second to nun. -
stephenb 3,551 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 15 years ago2 wind turbines in a field.
One says, "What's your favourite music?"
The other says, "I'm a huge metal fan." -
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I recently started buying my shoes from the local drug dealer. I dont know what he laced them with but i have been tripping all day. -
Thinking about selling all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the paypal...... -
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had £1.20 in her purse
Edited by consoledelight at 22:20:43 23-03-2017 -
I threw my wife a surprise bukkake party for her birthday....Oh, you should have seen her face -
SamNunn92 943 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 10 years agoWhat's black and rhymes with Snoop Dogg?
Dr Dre -
Decks 31,013 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 6 years agoIt's "what's brown and rhythms with snoop" you flid. -
SamNunn92 943 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 10 years agoI did think I remembered it being funnier than that -
SiroccoJetProp 430 posts
Seen 15 hours ago
Registered 5 years agoWhat does the 'B' stand for in Benoit B Mandelbrot?
Benoit B Mandelbrot. -
Donald Trump -
richarddavies 8,312 posts
Seen 11 minutes ago
Registered 13 years agoWhat's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-Qaeda outpost? Hell I don't know, I just fly the drone. -
richarddavies 8,312 posts
Seen 11 minutes ago
Registered 13 years agoA man and a young boy are walking into a forest at night. The boy says "i'm scared". The man says "YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone" -
Ziz0u 11,006 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 12 years agoGamerttt wrote:
Political.
Donald Trump
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pk1980 1,231 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 5 years agoI answered the phone today and all I could hear was someone sneezing.
Fucking cold callers. -
Gamerttt wrote:
The title says GOOD joke not SAD joke
Donald Trump
Edited by PazJohnMitch at 16:32:41 25-03-2017
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