|
Apologies if anyones already said this one but thought I'd contribute What's the definition of Endless Love? Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis |
Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes? • Page 7
-
andywilkie35 5,327 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 16 years ago -
CosmicFuzz 32,632 posts
Seen 25 minutes ago
Registered 15 years agoI hear Jeremy Beadle's got a massive hand.
But on the other hand, it's a cock!
Or something. -
Tonka 31,979 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 18 years agoWho is the most famous Chinese Nobel Prize winner?
Dalai Lama.
*badum tish* -
Ryze 3,767 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 15 years agoWhat do you call a black guy flying a plane.....
......
a PILOT - you fucking racist! -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agoOooh. I got one this morning.
I bought my nephew a charity advent calendar for christmas. He loves it but doesnt understand why you have to lick the windows to get them open. -
uglygamer wrote:
person :Knock knock whos there
Surely if he's knocking he knows who it is as it is himself. -
It still makes little to no sense. -
THE PERSON WHO IS KNOCKING DOES NOT ASK WHO'S THERE -
mattigan 1,428 posts
Seen 6 months ago
Registered 17 years agoSo this baby seal walks into a club....
There was blood everywhere! -
Fatiguez 8,930 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 13 years agoI prefer bengali's original version of that joke, which was actually very funny .gif)
-
CosmicFuzz 32,632 posts
Seen 25 minutes ago
Registered 15 years agoPerson knock: knock knock
Me: It's fucking open! -
BanjoMan 13,692 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 15 years agouglygamer wrote:
Profoundly existential.
Person knock: whos there
Me: Me
person: Me Who
Me: Me andyou -
CosmicFuzz 32,632 posts
Seen 25 minutes ago
Registered 15 years agonickthegun wrote:
Oooh. I got one this morning.
I bought my nephew a charity advent calendar for christmas. He loves it but doesnt understand why you have to lick the windows to get them open.
I don't get it
-
jellyhead 24,355 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agoSee, if we tell you then all the in-jokes your friends have will fall into place in your mind and destroy you. It's better for you not to know. -
silentbob 29,527 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 19 years agoThree blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. -
Someone has been watching Bill Bailey. -
BanjoMan 13,692 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 15 years agoMy memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. -
billythekid 12,595 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 16 years agoI got a mate, nicknamed Shagger.
You might think thats pretty cool.
She doesn't like it.
/shamelessly stolen from Jimmy Carr -
Jeepers 16,616 posts
Seen 14 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoThey say that a woman's job is never done.
Maybe that's why they get paid less...
(Shamelessly stolen from Shaun Lock.) -
daithi90 3,275 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 14 years agoLittle Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?" Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..." -
evilashchris 7,785 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 16 years agoHe he I like that one 
-
Uncle_Silver 159 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 15 years agoThe age of consent in Mexico is 12 years old.
Thats one way to solve a problem isn't it?
She looked 12 to me!
/again shamelessly stolen from Jimmy Carr -
BanjoMan 13,692 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 15 years agoAce Grace wrote:
"We have not bread."
Man walks into a restaurant and asks for Elephant testicles on toast.
The waiter goes into the kitchen.
A few minutes later he comes back out and says 'I'm sorry sir, we have not bread".
Hahahahaha that's genius. Have not bread = fraud actions.
Edit: Awww. -
BanjoMan 13,692 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 15 years agoBut it worked - I imagined the waiter having an Italian accent or something. -
belta 306 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 13 years agosuper man is flying over new york when he see's wonder woman sunbathing naked on a roof top, feeling horny he shoots down towards her super fast and fucks her super fast and with a gust off wind is off again. wonder woman sits up and says 'what was that?' the invisible man replies 'i dont know, but my fucking arse is sore' -
Fatiguez 8,930 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 13 years agoWhat do you call a sad dog?
A melancollie -
Knock knock.
.gif)
Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.
