Snippets of Overheard Conversations Thread Page 33

  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 3 Sep 2018 12:24:54 17,497 posts
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    I like it. I've just heard two of my work colleagues talking.

    Man colleague: Yeah I really need my sleep.

    Lady colleague: yeah me to.

    I wasn't paying attention for the rest.
  • dominalien 3 Sep 2018 12:31:02 8,954 posts
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    I was in a shop when a dude walked in.

    Dude: Hello.

    Shop attendant: Hello.

    Me: ...

    Am I doing this right?
  • DFawkes Friendliest Forumite, 2016 3 Sep 2018 12:38:22 32,207 posts
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    I understand now. Afraid I don't even have any dull anecdotes, which is a surprise given how tremendously dull I can be.
  • challenge_hanukkah 3 Sep 2018 12:46:39 9,285 posts
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    I overheard this guy at work coughing.

    The germ riddled cunt.
  • Rivuzu 3 Sep 2018 12:51:12 17,659 posts
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    I saw someone nod at another person across the room.

    Gang signs aint what they used to be.
  • Psiloc 3 Sep 2018 13:41:09 4,947 posts
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    "The village is busy today."

    "I know yeah, I had to loop around twice before I could park."

    While I have already been contacted by a number of journalists, the story is currently still for sale.
  • RichDC 12 Sep 2018 17:51:25 8,046 posts
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    "My dad gets mistaken for my mum's dad all the time and my mate Phil told me that he really fancies my dad but he has a face like a melted camel"

    I lost track of it after that.
  • ZuluHero 12 Sep 2018 18:35:28 6,927 posts
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    Heard this gem a few days ago:

    "...my girlfriend let me try it last night. It was good, but when I pulled out and it felt like there was a bit of weight on it. I looked down and there was a big dollop of shit on it. Tell you what; it's put me off anal for life..."

    Me too. And my lunch.

    Edited by ZuluHero at 18:35:54 12-09-2018
  • elstoof 12 Sep 2018 18:58:36 22,181 posts
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    Ahh the old poopy dangler
  • fontgeeksogood 12 Sep 2018 19:05:03 4,303 posts
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    Ahh, the ole "shit on his dick so he doesn't ask again" switcheroo
  • RichDC 12 Sep 2018 21:19:44 8,046 posts
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    Same table as earlier:

    And my sons eighteen years old boyfriends were well fit. LAUGHTER Oh shit! That guy heard me! It was a joke! It was a joke!

    I was laughing too at this point. :lol:
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Sep 2018 07:35:40 9,285 posts
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    Did you then get a shitty dick?
  • mrpon 13 Sep 2018 09:13:18 34,929 posts
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    Well he is good looking. No really good looking.

    Did I mention he's good looking?
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 13 Sep 2018 09:18:21 4,902 posts
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    ZuluHero wrote:
    Heard this gem a few days ago:

    "...my girlfriend let me try it last night. It was good, but when I pulled out and it felt like there was a bit of weight on it. I looked down and there was a big dollop of shit on it. Tell you what; it's put me off anal for life..."

    Me too. And my lunch.
    I think this post wins this thread.
  • anephric 13 Sep 2018 09:22:37 3,030 posts
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    #ItGoesWithTheTerritory
  • samyboy 17 Sep 2018 17:17:05 86 posts
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    One of my colleagues just told another colleague:

    "show up on time"

    And yes they are on for tonight.
  • Load_2.0 17 Sep 2018 17:22:12 28,413 posts
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    I see.
  • JoeBlade 17 Sep 2018 19:55:23 4,291 posts
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    Cool story bro.
  • neilka 17 Sep 2018 20:03:28 22,277 posts
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    Did they show up on time?!
  • elstoof 17 Sep 2018 20:19:00 22,181 posts
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    Fucking hope so, they were on for tonight
  • fontgeeksogood 17 Sep 2018 20:23:59 4,303 posts
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    Everyone clapped
  • Your-Mother 17 Sep 2018 20:25:26 2,305 posts
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    My dog just went bark
  • challenge_hanukkah 17 Sep 2018 20:26:15 9,285 posts
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    He was trying to say Mark, but he has a hair lip.
  • ZuluHero 2 Oct 2018 09:51:25 6,927 posts
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    Some guy outside my local on his phone:

    "...How's he doing? There was shit absolutely everywhere..."

    I don't know why I keep being privy to people talking about poo.
  • Load_2.0 2 Oct 2018 10:10:13 28,413 posts
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    You are in a coma.

    That was the nurse.

    You have soiled yourself.
  • KRadiation 2 Oct 2018 11:16:57 1,380 posts
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    had a girl on the train yesterday talking out loud to her friend about how stressful her life is.

    "my old manager has started working at the same place I'm at.... and you know how I want to split up with my boyfriend.... but I can't because he was a virgin when we met.... well I was telling my old manager this... and that I want to have sex with other people but can't.... so he then says to me "well can I have my cv in and apply for the position?' but it's weird because I might get feels for him plus he's so old... hes like 27!"


    and the week before a girl on her phone chatting away about how she keeps sneaking out of work to smoke weed and she stole from petty cash the week before but they'll never know it was her...





    it's like.... what the fuck is wrong with you people?
  • cowell 2 Oct 2018 11:49:00 1,653 posts
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    I don't know what it is about South London during morning commute, but I'd say on a weekly if not fortnightly basis, there's somebody on the Tram, having a proper angry conversation with someone about some personal issue or other.

    Like dude, you shouldn't be discussing this in public and don't get even more mad when you realise people are unavoidably listening to your conversation.

    Edited by cowell at 11:49:25 02-10-2018
  • Alastair 30 Oct 2018 13:34:18 22,978 posts
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    First Post in here!
    Last in front of me in Subway just asked for 'chipolata sauce'


    Well, it made me smile anyway..
  • Innuendobot_5000 30 Oct 2018 15:34:30 218 posts
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    CHIPOLATA. SAUCE.
  • Alastair 30 Oct 2018 15:51:12 22,978 posts
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    Hello user neilka
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