Countdown to Unemployment thread Page 100

  • thelzdking 19 Mar 2019 01:23:42 9,409 posts
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    @beastmaster

    Good luck mate. I succeeded in my recent interview efforts by following the advice given on here and asserting both my dominance and giving sexual favours. Dominant handjobs win the day.
  • fontgeeksogood 19 Mar 2019 03:07:36 6,239 posts
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    beastmaster wrote:
    Going to go down tomorrow.
    Nononono - HANDjob. Nobody likes a slut
  • beastmaster 21 Mar 2019 11:31:32 19,255 posts
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    No handjobs but I romped it home! Start my new job a week on Monday :)
  • challenge_hanukkah 21 Mar 2019 11:38:31 10,903 posts
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    Congratulations!

    Nice going.
  • JamboWayOh 21 Mar 2019 11:40:46 13,615 posts
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    beastmaster wrote:
    No handjobs but I romped it home! Start my new job a week on Monday :)
    Yeah! Nice one mate, I look forward to hearing how your new job is tracking.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 21 Mar 2019 11:48:20 1,052 posts
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    Congrats Beastmaster :)
  • Load_2.0 21 Mar 2019 12:47:32 29,505 posts
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    beastmaster wrote:
    No handjobs but I romped it home! Start my new job a week on Monday :)
    Sure. NO handjobs.

    😉
  • Vortex808 21 Mar 2019 14:00:30 13,220 posts
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    /creates 'handmaster' sock account...

    :-)
  • senso-ji 21 Mar 2019 14:04:55 9,578 posts
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    I always feel a bit of dread when this thread gets bumped, but nice to see a happy ending here.

    Congrats Beastmaster!
  • fontgeeksogood 21 Mar 2019 14:20:30 6,239 posts
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    Can't believe the blowie worked but nice one
  • thelzdking 22 Mar 2019 02:50:33 9,409 posts
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    Nice one Beastmaster. When do we get the review of the new job?
  • Dougs 22 Mar 2019 06:29:57 89,593 posts
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    Good work.
  • Trowel 17 Apr 2019 18:49:43 22,583 posts
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    Day 1 in the redundancy house - Trowel is writing his CV for the first time in 18 years...

    Sucks. Luckily I did a lot of recruitment over the years, so have plenty of experience with bad CVs, plus some direct lines to owners of a few agencies. Also I put some effort into my LinkedIn network only a couple of months ago, so hoping there may be a decent contact that direction.

    Some good advice on the thread, thanks. ...Any advice on managing the wife?
  • askew 17 Apr 2019 18:51:51 19,302 posts
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    Keep schtum.

    (I am sorry to hear of your predicament)
  • GuybrushFreepwood 17 Apr 2019 20:50:24 1,052 posts
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    Sorry to hear that Trowel.

    Personally Iíd tell your wife as youíll need the support. At least I did when I was suddenly jobless.
  • Trowel 17 Apr 2019 21:27:43 22,583 posts
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    Thanks. She knows, don't worry - just got to manage her stress levels.
  • Letsgetthispartystar 17 Apr 2019 21:38:43 20 posts
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    Trowel wrote:
    Thanks. She knows, don't worry - just got to manage her stress levels.
    Just show her a picture of Decks and she will be more upbeat saying it's not all bad I guess. That's after she's stopped screaming at his horrendous paint on eyebrows face.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 17 Apr 2019 21:42:11 20,109 posts
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    I think someone's got a crush.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 18 Apr 2019 06:34:41 1,052 posts
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    @Trowel

    This is all obvious stuff, but best thing you can do is remain calm (at least outwardly) so she worries less. Look at your finances and figure out how long you can go with a bit of cutting back. Treat looking for work as a full time job. Get up at normal time and research and apply for jobs during your normal working hours. Send out speculative CVs to places you would like to work, check people in your LinkedIn network and see if they need anything.

    When youíre not applying, look at the job specs and see where you think youíre lacking and study those areas. There are lots of free online courses out there. Start with ones on cv writing (you can always learn something ) and interview techniques.

    Above all keep motivated and calm. Remember the contractor market and look furtheri afield if need be.

    Iíve been made redundant twice and it was scary, but I got a better job in the end. Keeping focussed helped keep me calm and knowing I was doing all I could.

    Anyways, all obvious stuff, but onwards and upwards and all that motivational claptrap :)
  • Carlo 18 Apr 2019 07:09:33 20,563 posts
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    I'd just like to chip in here about the treating getting a job as a job too.

    I recently failed my probation for a job, rather than raise shit about it, get legal etc. (which I could have built a case for believe me me!) I just went home, cracked on looking for a new role, and forgot about the last one.

    The alarm went off the same time as usual, my cv was updated, jobs were applied for and I spent any free time hitting the training vids to ensure any questions about skills have up to date, complete answers. You can't do more than that

    My profession has plenty of work, it took 2 weeks to get to an offer, a few in fact, and now I'm finishing what remains of the Easter holidays with the family.

    It'll happen if you get you CV in order, make good applications, and get your 'patter' right for interviews. Just remember your need to get things done ASAP isn't shared with your future employer... They have other priorities, so don't show frustration if it takes a little longer than you hoped.
  • Frogofdoom 18 Apr 2019 07:16:33 13,426 posts
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    Trust me, you cant build a case for a failed probation, the only thing you would do is lose money.

    An employer can get rid of you for bullshit reasons at pretty much any point in the first 2 years and you have very little comeback.
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Apr 2019 07:19:35 6,239 posts
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    Carlo wrote:
    I'd just like to chip in here about the treating getting a job as a job too.

    I recently failed my probation for a job, rather than raise shit about it, get legal etc. (which I could have built a case for believe me me!)
    Sorry to hear that, but you can't. There's nothing you can do under two years employment (provided they went through the correct contractual procedure) unless you were discriminated against the protected characteristics
  • Carlo 18 Apr 2019 07:26:55 20,563 posts
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    That's the thing, they didn't. Went past the probation period before informing me, there's no provision for that in the contract.

    Meh though, like I said. At best they'd say "ah OK Carlo, right you are" then find a way to fire me anyway
  • Frogofdoom 18 Apr 2019 07:34:37 13,426 posts
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    Doesn't matter, they can cite poor performance and get rid of you anyway.

    They can also extend probation periods.
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Apr 2019 07:45:40 6,239 posts
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    Yep, probation periods are a bit of a nonsense anyway under UK employment law. Less than two years? Toodles
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Apr 2019 07:46:47 6,239 posts
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    They don't even have to cite poor performance, or any reason (although it is advised to do so)
  • KnuttinAtoll 18 Apr 2019 07:52:36 7,232 posts
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    Plus the relationship with the employer is poisoned already so a dead end career wise even if an appeal were successful.
  • Graxlar_v3 18 Apr 2019 08:58:26 6,867 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Yep, probation periods are a bit of a nonsense anyway under UK employment law. Less than two years? Toodles
    ^^^ This.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 18 Apr 2019 10:27:29 5,971 posts
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    I've been on the other side of this one - getting rid of somebody for failing probation (very poor attendance and performance across the first 6 months). It wasn't quite as open and shut as some of the posts here make out - I did have to make sure everything was documented and evidenced - but yes, it was easier than a "normal" dismissal/redundancy.
  • Frogofdoom 18 Apr 2019 10:32:42 13,426 posts
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    That's down to your company policy though roguey. My mrs had to fail someone's probation recently and didn't have to do anything like that.

    Was a fairly big company too
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