Linda Barker

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  • Jetset_UK 27 May 2004 11:45:44 3,578 posts
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    Would you?
  • ssuellid 27 May 2004 11:46:57 19,141 posts
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    Nope, most annoying voice on TV. Facial expressions have a 'thump me' look.
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 11:47:34 70,666 posts
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    Only with a very strong foot-long piece of gaffa tape wrapped round that stupid flapping gob of hers.

    Furry hoops is furry hoops after all.

    Peej
  • ruttyboy 27 May 2004 11:48:47 7,950 posts
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    Definitely. Ever since she first appeared on TV years ago I have thought she was amazing. That said she would have to keep her mouth shut, or fill it with something...

    /coat and scarf
  • squaylor 27 May 2004 11:50:22 3,737 posts
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    I wouldn't feel comfortable unleashing the beast on a woman who can make a 'snip snip' noise quite so believable...
  • Nemesis 27 May 2004 11:53:08 20,293 posts
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    She's pure dirt, but I don't think I would
  • kincaide 27 May 2004 11:53:47 5,067 posts
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    I thought the country had voted to tell her to "piss off"



    I read it in Viz, so it must be true
  • Blerk Moderator 27 May 2004 11:53:57 48,222 posts
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    Hmmmm.... probably. But, as peej, only with some kind of 'voice restraint' in place.
  • Lutz 27 May 2004 11:54:40 48,870 posts
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    Blerk wrote:
    Hmmmm.... probably. But, as peej, only with some kind of 'voice restraint' in place.
    Like hands around her throat?
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 11:58:51 70,666 posts
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    Slight change of tack but Lowry Turner...? Bag over head? Possibly?

    Peej
  • mentat 27 May 2004 12:01:14 5,613 posts
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    Yep.

    Sorry.
  • Retroid Moderator 27 May 2004 12:02:28 45,464 posts
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    Hooorp
  • tomrowley101 27 May 2004 12:02:46 795 posts
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    lowry is a definate! you could do the helicopter with her!
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 12:02:58 70,666 posts
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    I know she's a flabby old mare but she somehow looks like she'd be a dorty beast on the job (Lowry I mean)

    Peej
  • Nemesis 27 May 2004 12:03:12 20,293 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Slight change of tack but Lowry Turner...? Bag over head? Possibly?

    Peej

    Yeah, there's something about Turner. Was trying to explain this to the missus and only managed to dig myself in deeper.

    I think me saying "She'd take a load over the face without blinking her eyes or screwing up her face. She's that class of dirt." probably didn't help things.
  • squaylor 27 May 2004 12:04:20 3,737 posts
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    Who's Lowry Turner?
  • Blerk Moderator 27 May 2004 12:05:10 48,222 posts
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    To my eternal shame, I would do Lowry Turner.
  • tomrowley101 27 May 2004 12:06:42 795 posts
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    DIY SOS presenter
    there is something about her...
  • unwashed 27 May 2004 12:08:00 1,857 posts
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    Taking things a little more ahem hardcore, Fern Britton?
  • Lutz 27 May 2004 12:09:09 48,870 posts
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    unwashed wrote:
    Taking things a little more ahem hardcore, Fern Britton?
    You sir are not right in the head!
    How about... Judy. Of Richard and Judy fame...

    /heaves
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 12:09:36 70,666 posts
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    The lady in question

    It's that look of hers. Slightly evil, slightly gauged to be looking back over her shoulder grunting obscenities at you while you're doing the nasty.

    Oh god I hate myself today!

    Peej
  • Jetset_UK 27 May 2004 12:10:32 3,578 posts
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    Fern? Maybe 10 years ago. I bet shes an energetic goer tho.
  • unwashed 27 May 2004 12:11:45 1,857 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    The lady in question

    It's that look of hers. Slightly evil, slightly gauged to be looking back over her shoulder grunting obscenities at you while you're doing the nasty.

    Oh god I hate myself today!

    Peej

    Y'know, I'm soooooooo glad that wank banks are a private thing, cos I'd hate to look in yours peej!
  • tomrowley101 27 May 2004 12:11:53 795 posts
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    fern britton but she'd have to shut up too.

    if she come up to me and said lets shag, then when we were in bed went to speak id have to say

    oi! britton! dont say nuffink!!!

    /picks up pint
    /looks at friend, red faced and huffing
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 12:12:16 70,666 posts
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    I'd go with Fern, but I'd be thinking of Lowri.

    Judy - No way. Someone stops chopping firewood on her face and she gets a good nip and tuck then MAYBE, just MAYBE but only to say I'd done her.

    Peej
  • Blerk Moderator 27 May 2004 12:12:30 48,222 posts
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    Fern... possibly.

    Judy? No fucking way!
  • Su-Pollard 27 May 2004 12:12:46 32 posts
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    Oi what about me?!?!

    I take it up the fudge tunnel, do watersports, everything!
  • pjmaybe 27 May 2004 12:13:18 70,666 posts
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    Su Pollard wrote:
    Oi what about me?!?!

    I take it up the fudge tunnel, do watersports, everything!


    ROFL!!!!!!

    So we'd heard!

    Peej
  • tomrowley101 27 May 2004 12:14:26 795 posts
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    theres nothing we havent all seen any way, not after the 'incident'! rich probably loves a bit of sandwhich action, lets face it, shes a big filling.

    /th e phrase badly packed kebab comes to mind...
  • Su-Pollard 27 May 2004 12:15:27 32 posts
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    I'll even hose out my fish mitten beforehand.
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