Who should be the new Lara? • Non-Gaming • Film • Eurogamer.net

pjmaybe 26 May 2009 13:29:33 70,666 posts
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As an offshoot to the Buffy thread, and as part of the big revival in all things Tomb Raider (Squenix have to get their money's worth out of the Eidos deal somehow I guess), it looks like they're doing a new movie. No Angelina Jolie, and a "younger" Lara Croft to fit better with the upcoming game(s).

So casting suggestions have been made by OXM, and as you'd expect - for the most part they're all fucking retarded suggestions like Megan Fox, yon Terminator bird from The Sarah Connor Chronicles - even the woman who played SC herself.

One vaguely sane suggestion was Michelle Ryan. She has the knockers for it, and the accent but can't act her way out of a wet paper bag.

So who would you put up for the gig?

(Susan Boyle?)

the_dudefather 26 May 2009 13:31:01 10,733 posts
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Simon pegg

Articulate-Troll 26 May 2009 13:31:20 3,098 posts
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Vin Diesel

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:32:03

A big man!

StarchildHypocrethes 26 May 2009 13:32:27 31,281 posts
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Harrison Ford.

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:33:12

Rhona Mitra ten years ago.

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:33:44

Leolian'sBro wrote:
Is it Enemy Mine?

No, it's Tomb Raider.

HarryPalmer 26 May 2009 13:33:47 5,443 posts
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Asia Argento

malteaserhead 26 May 2009 13:34:10 13,443 posts
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Kelly Brook if she could act... ack, who am I to be so picky. Kelly Brook.

HarryPalmer 26 May 2009 13:34:17 5,443 posts
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Or Tera Patrick

DoctorZoidberg 26 May 2009 13:34:37 214 posts
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Penelope Cruz

cubbymoore 26 May 2009 13:35:51 36,677 posts
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Probably Megan Fox, can't really think of anyone else who could have the body and the star power.

HarryPalmer 26 May 2009 13:36:37 5,443 posts
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Lily Allen

Messiac 26 May 2009 13:36:48 3,465 posts
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Kate Beckinsale or Rachel Stirling.

If Megan Fox isn't available or can't do an English voice.

pjmaybe 26 May 2009 13:37:40 70,666 posts
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I'd probably give ol' latex-drawers Kate Beckinsale a go, before she gets too old and wrinkly for it.

She's got a superb pair of zeps, and a nice bum. Plus she can sort of vaguely act, has a plummy accent and is nice and easy on the eye.

Razz 26 May 2009 13:38:26 63,431 posts
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Vanessa Mae

HarryPalmer 26 May 2009 13:38:59 5,443 posts
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Rachel from Neighbours

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:39:04

Razz likes oriental girls, everyone, in case you missed it. Big news yesterday.

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:40:10

Owen works in TV

Fatiguez 26 May 2009 13:40:35 8,883 posts
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uglygamer wrote:
her

it has to be someone who looks a bit similar.

Christ, that's unsettling

cubbymoore 26 May 2009 13:40:43 36,677 posts
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Gremmi works in a basement with hooks.

mingster 26 May 2009 13:41:12 3,483 posts
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Jordan

Fatiguez 26 May 2009 13:41:18 8,883 posts
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Yes yes, Razz has yellow fever, Owen works in TV, TG lives in Japan, and BanjoMan is gay. Enough of the schtick guuuuuys

Dirtbox 26 May 2009 13:41:19 90,218 posts
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Post deleted

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:41:50

Fatiguez wrote:
Yes yes, Razz has yellow fever, Owen works in TV, TG lives in Japan, and BanjoMan is gay. Enough of the schtick guuuuuys

Take away the schtiiiick and what's left? Miserable cunts like you.

THAT'S WHAT.

malteaserhead 26 May 2009 13:42:00 13,443 posts
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Fatiguez wrote:

uglygamer wrote:
her

it has to be someone who looks a bit similar.

Christ, that's unsettling

Indeed. I was going to post something about what a shitty life that would be (a fax of an image) but I guess she's happy enough.

Deleted user 26 May 2009 13:42:13

Gremmi wrote:
Owen works in TV

Actually I diversify these days darlinks.

Razz 26 May 2009 13:42:26 63,431 posts
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MrED209 wrote:
Razz likes oriental girls, everyone, in case you missed it. Big news yesterday.

Hey! I just like how she handles an instrument. The fact that's she's Thai-Chinese Singaporean has everything to do with it. *cough*