Following I wish to end my neighbours Page 71

  • JamboWayOh 12 Jan 2019 10:39:33 13,130 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Armoured_Bear wrote:
    I remember being at a house party in Spain when a neighbour complained, the police turned up with a sound meter , measured and kicked us out.
    Melua relacionada con el ruido
    Obviously they were playing too many barnstormers from James AND Melua.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 10:39:51 12-01-2019
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 19:27:24 10,712 posts
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    Yes of course you should have a loud party on a Sunday night, you fucking cunts.

    Hearing a portly male chav belting out Whitney Houston is exactly how I wanted to spend my evening. Surely it'd be justifiable homicide at this point?

    Shut your fucking dog up too, you twats.
  • thelzdking 13 Jan 2019 19:39:59 9,353 posts
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    Barking dogs can fuck off.
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 19:56:15 10,712 posts
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    It's the Venga Boys now.

    No, they're not listening ironically.
  • JamboWayOh 13 Jan 2019 20:11:39 13,130 posts
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    Have you thought about funneling in some carbon monoxide into their place?
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 20:25:52 10,712 posts
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    I'll just leave a poisoned McDonald's on the doorstep.
  • fontgeeksogood 13 Jan 2019 21:01:56 6,043 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    It's the Venga Boys now.

    No, they're not listening ironically.
    We
    Like to party
    We like
    We like to party
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:08:11 10,712 posts
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    I wish the Venga bus would take them away.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 13 Jan 2019 21:11:53 5,825 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    I wish the Venga bus would take them away.
    They'd get kicked off the Venga bus for not paying the fare.
  • Fake_Blood 13 Jan 2019 21:11:57 9,485 posts
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    To ibiza?
  • fontgeeksogood 13 Jan 2019 21:12:08 6,043 posts
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    Boom boom boom boom
    Post dogshit in their room
  • thelzdking 13 Jan 2019 21:14:45 9,353 posts
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    I guess Uncle John is over from Jamaica?
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:16:30 10,712 posts
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    Fake_Blood wrote:
    To ibiza?
    In flames off a cliff preferably.
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:17:12 10,712 posts
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    Their kids won't be making it to school tomorrow.

    Utter scum.
  • RighteousPickle 13 Jan 2019 21:22:10 105 posts
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    There's tv interrupters you can buy online. You need a clear line of sight through their window to their tv, maybe by parking your car in the right spot and hiding in it. It wouldn't solve anything, but I thought it would funny to piss them off.
  • JamboWayOh 13 Jan 2019 21:23:48 13,130 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Their kids won't be making it to school tomorrow.

    Utter scum.
    Is there where the thread takes a dark turn?
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:31:32 10,712 posts
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    When Fatman and Shoehorn get arseholed and party til 5am they don't take their kids to school the next day.

    It's a regular occurrence.
  • JamboWayOh 13 Jan 2019 21:33:10 13,130 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    When Fatman and Shoehorn get arseholed and party til 5am they don't take their kids to school the next day.

    It's a regular occurrence.
    Ahhh, thanks for the clarification. Got worried there that I'd be making a statement to the police.
  • fontgeeksogood 13 Jan 2019 21:34:28 6,043 posts
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    Their kids are just as hungover as they are
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:35:20 10,712 posts
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    RighteousPickle wrote:
    There's tv interrupters you can buy online. You need a clear line of sight through their window to their tv, maybe by parking your car in the right spot and hiding in it. It wouldn't solve anything, but I thought it would funny to piss them off.
    I might try casting gay porn to their fire tv
  • challenge_hanukkah 13 Jan 2019 21:36:02 10,712 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Their kids are just as hungover as they are
    I think the kids just stick to the skunk.
  • fontgeeksogood 13 Jan 2019 21:40:25 6,043 posts
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    I had a neighbor once (Britain, natch) who lived below me and would wake me up at all hours banging on the door telling me to "turn your fucking spaceship down"

    After many irate confrontations over a few weeks, one day I answered the door, conceded it was very late to be working on my intergalactic spacecraft, sorry, won't do it again and that was the end of it.

    Never knew if it was drugs or mental health issues. Anyway, I fixed my spaceship in the end, turned out it just needed a bit of mustard around the exhaust port
  • thelzdking 13 Jan 2019 22:19:57 9,353 posts
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    SpaceMonkey?
  • KnuttinAtoll 13 Jan 2019 22:22:56 7,134 posts
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    Kevin Spacey?
  • THFourteen 14 Jan 2019 04:03:37 51,930 posts
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    What is this mustard thing, did I miss a thread?
  • macmurphy 14 Jan 2019 04:35:30 3,789 posts
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    @THFourteen

  • macmurphy 14 Jan 2019 04:35:59 3,789 posts
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    You wet the bed again TF?
  • THFourteen 14 Jan 2019 04:42:16 51,930 posts
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    Lol no.

    My eldest was up with a coughing fit @1am, and I was stressing about a go live this morning at work, had to reply to some emails at 3 because they found an issue, and then my youngest has been grumpy since 2am as she has a cold and finally had to get out of bed at 4 and give her a bottle and sheís gone back to sleep but I am now too wired to sleep.
  • macmurphy 14 Jan 2019 05:00:17 3,789 posts
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    Jesus. Youíre going to be dangling like a fruitbat.

    Not sure if you are even serious about mustard as itís right up there with breadbin lids and dustbin chicken as a forum meme. Youíd need a PES or a Decks to confirm but I seem to remember it was about rubbing mustard on a cats ringpiece and watching it scoot along the floor using only its front legs rubbing itís bum on the carpet.

    Canít remember if someone had heard thatís what happened or if someone had actually fingered their cat with a mustard baste though.
  • Frogofdoom 14 Jan 2019 08:21:55 13,216 posts
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    Chicken in a dustbin \o/

    It's been too long
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