Following I wish to end my neighbours Page 77

  • anephric 21 May 2020 15:07:06 4,185 posts
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    I live out in the sticks near a load of farms and small holdings. There's goats, sheep, cows, horses, donkeys, llamas, cockerels, ducks galore. There's also the ridiculous yalping that the pheasants and grouse make. Pheasants are by far the more annoying, I'm quite happy for the chinless wonders to hoist on their tweed and start blasting away at them. Also, come Spring, Clarice, you get awoken by the awful screaming of the lambs (well, the sheep calling to their lost lambs for daaays).

    It's hugely, vastly preferable to living in a street plagued with endless shit BBQs with their monotonous BEATSBEATSBEATS you can feel in your bones and listening to the arseholes next door try to kill each other for the umpteenth time.

    And there's no snot-encrusted kids terrorising the street either.

    BLISS.
  • Steve-Perry 21 May 2020 15:08:54 1,478 posts
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    Why is it that most of those people are chinless? It's something I have observed that too. Does inbreeding remove the human chin?

    Edited by Steve-Perry at 15:09:03 21-05-2020
  • Dougs 21 May 2020 15:11:10 94,595 posts
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    My dad always called Gail from Coronation Street a chinless wonder. Haven't heard that expression in ages.
  • DUFFMAN5 21 May 2020 15:13:39 26,034 posts
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    @Dougs
    My dad did as well mate. Old school,my dad also used a phrase about Shirts and something else...it was a different time and not a particularly "enlightened one"
  • anephric 21 May 2020 15:17:47 4,185 posts
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    I think it comes out of the long-regarded notion that the aristocracy of Europe used to (still does?) ferociously inbreed with each other, as made most emblematic to the reverse extreme by the Habsburg Chin/jaw.

    I certainly went to school with a fair few chinless wonders who were invariably called Trivian/Oliver and who summered on their father's most southerly estate.
  • Vortex808 21 May 2020 15:18:05 13,856 posts
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    Chinless wonder was generally used to refer to toffs round our way, but Gail certainly was one.

    As was my old form teacher at school. The usual joke was that he had swallowed his chin, he wasn't posh though.

    And had the nickname Emu.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 21 May 2020 15:20:37 8,979 posts
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    "Chinless wonder" was generally toffs where I grew up as well, but we also used it for the big, extended family over the road who definitely seemed a few branches short of a healthy family tree.
  • Vortex808 21 May 2020 15:21:23 13,856 posts
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    :-D

    Nice description!
  • ZuluHero 21 May 2020 15:24:59 8,925 posts
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    Chinless wonder? I haven't heard that one since the 80s! :)
  • anephric 21 May 2020 15:28:03 4,185 posts
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    I developed most of my idiom then and never really progressed.

    Kevs, chinless wonders, grebs. The lot. Loadsamoney.
  • Dougs 21 May 2020 15:29:25 94,595 posts
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    Same here.
  • Load_2.0 1 Jun 2020 10:42:00 31,884 posts
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    New neighbours moved in. They insist on playing the top 10 from Mumbai or Riyadh at full blast morning and evenings. I'm too uncultured to tell which.

    Either way it's several hours of mournful wailing and crooning about (I assume) lost love every morning and evening with the doors open.

    Either way it's fucking shite. I can't tell which apartment it's coming from yet but when I do I'll tell them to stfu as it's relentless every day.
  • Rum_Monkey 1 Jun 2020 11:35:08 958 posts
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    I can't wait until the day I have a detached house far enough away from the nearest neighbour that whatever they do can't bother me.
  • Deleted user 1 June 2020 11:43:20
    How's this for a new neighbour.

    He moved in just before the lockdown and has karaoke nights by himself at around 10pm to 1am featuring songs like:

    Westlife - not just the then popular ones either, the entire album. The full cheese stuff
    Take That
    Endless love by Lionel Richie
    Time of my Life
    Oasis
  • mrpon 1 Jun 2020 11:55:59 36,268 posts
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    I hate it when it's not the popular ones. I have to look up the lyrics.
  • KD 1 Jun 2020 12:01:44 2,755 posts
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    My 70 yr old neighbour who made racist comments to an Asian girl I was dating, told me to forget about a girl I loved who killed herself (so he could ask me for more free paint), copped a feel of a female neighbour that used to care for her partner and child with autism that he turned back onto her later telling the street they are evil for reasons nobody understands, told me in the street the other week that my mates dad who was in the papers for recovering for covid is probaly lying because its all a scam apparently and wants to grab my arm every time I passed him since.

    He blocked my door being a funny cunt on friday after I nipped to screwfix nearby, folded his arms with a smug grin so I'd have to chat, fuck that I shoved him and called him a daft horrible cunt, he went flying and I spent the weekend back in a deep depression feeling like shit about it.
  • nudistpete 1 Jun 2020 12:14:17 1,215 posts
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    KD wrote:
    I spent the weekend back in a deep depression feeling like shit about it.
    You shouldn't GAF. There's no excuse for his behaviour.
  • Technoishmatt 1 Jun 2020 12:17:09 4,267 posts
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    Were you buying screws to screw his door shut?
  • Razz 1 Jun 2020 12:29:58 725 posts
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    Anxiety will do that to you, it's such a bitch. There have been times when I've told people off absolutely justifiably, but will feel shit about it for days after. Fucking anxiety.
  • KD 1 Jun 2020 12:31:16 2,755 posts
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    Just hit max dose on propanalol this month so not the best tbh anyway
  • anephric 1 Jun 2020 13:08:32 4,185 posts
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    Rum_Monkey wrote:
    I can't wait until the day I have a detached house far enough away from the nearest neighbour that whatever they do can't bother me.
    I can attest, you can be detached and well away from someone and if they decide to spend six months completely gutting their house and levelling their land (doing the work themselves on the cheap so that what should have taken one month max is STILL ONGOING) you'll still want to kill them. Particularly when you're working from home and their fucking piledriving is going through the house.
  • Globalmeltdown 1 Jun 2020 13:23:10 808 posts
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    Next door neighbour flicks his dog ends out bedroom window and they land on my toilet roof and go in my garden, donít know if Iím overreacting but I think itís disgusting. I complained to the bloke next door via text, see what happens.
  • Load_2.0 1 Jun 2020 13:32:35 31,884 posts
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    Nah that's a cunt move. If you smoke you should own an ashtray.

    He's a dick.
  • brokenkey 1 Jun 2020 13:58:03 10,516 posts
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    Tale90 wrote:
    How's this for a new neighbour.

    He moved in just before the lockdown and has karaoke nights by himself at around 10pm to 1am featuring songs like:

    Westlife - not just the then popular ones either, the entire album. The full cheese stuff
    Take That
    Endless love by Lionel Richie
    Time of my Life
    Oasis
    He's probably masterbating at the same time and live streaming it all on OnlyFans. Probably.
  • Saul_Iscariot 1 Jun 2020 14:01:20 3,739 posts
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    Globalmeltdown wrote:
    Next door neighbour flicks his dog ends out bedroom window and they land on my toilet roof and go in my garden, donít know if Iím overreacting but I think itís disgusting. I complained to the bloke next door via text, see what happens.
    My next door neighbours son did the same thing. When he was younger he also chucked out half eaten sandwiches from his bedroom window. The sandwiches stopped when I spoke to his Mam. The fag ends are a new thing, but he has fucked up two of the cushions in my garden seats. I have spoken to his Mam again. If if continues I am going to set fire to the covers and chuck them into their garden.

    (Really, I will probably tut, then speak to his Mam again.)
  • Razz 1 Jun 2020 14:47:18 725 posts
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    brokenkey wrote:
    Tale90 wrote:
    How's this for a new neighbour.

    He moved in just before the lockdown and has karaoke nights by himself at around 10pm to 1am featuring songs like:

    Westlife - not just the then popular ones either, the entire album. The full cheese stuff
    Take That
    Endless love by Lionel Richie
    Time of my Life
    Oasis
    He's probably masterbating at the same time and live streaming it all on OnlyFans. Probably.
    Don't know about you, but that sounds like a great excuse to make a new friend
  • CrispyXUKTurbo 1 Jun 2020 14:53:16 2,928 posts
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    My neighbours (semi-detached) had 4 parties last week, and a bonfire for one of them :(
  • Tomo 1 Jun 2020 15:22:01 17,805 posts
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    Live in a block of flats. Ground floor. Our balcony adjoins next door balcony. They had BBQs 4-days in a row, by propping up a metal grill over the balcony wall, scorching the wall and throwing the ash into the bush on the outer side of the wall. The BBQ I didn't mind so much for a day or two. By day 4 it was a pisser because the smell was filling my flat each night. To top it off, there is a gap in the bushes where our balcony is, so rather than use their own front door, they were jumping onto my balcony and then onto their own. Cheeky fuckers.

    The old bat upstairs is miserable as sin. She cornered us for a conversation on the way out a few days ago. She thought we were "subletting the " as she saw the people on our balcony. She called the fucking police on them because of the BBQ and because they've been cutting each others hair on the grass outside, which I thought was a bit drastic. I'm surrounded by both ends of the neighbour spectrum. The divs who don't give a shit about any one else and the definition of a curtain twitcher. I would give a kidney for a detached house.
  • TechnoHippy 1 Jun 2020 20:45:02 17,470 posts
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    I wouldn't be putting up with trespassing.
  • anephric 1 Jun 2020 21:27:34 4,185 posts
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    Kill them all, save yourself.
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