Nintendo DS is going suck ass

    First Previous
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 17:48:35 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    I mean, seriously. What the fuck is wrong with Nintendo?

    Do they survey gamers and then make plans around what nobody ever said they wanted?

    Sure, there are dozens upon dozens of you who have been all "Yay, two screens, yay!". But you know what? When it comes down to it, people aren't going to give a fuck about having two screens. You know, you can only look at one at a time anyway... Nintendo could have saved a lot of money and integrity if they had merely left out the second screen and added a button that allowed you to change the images on the single screen instead of having to look at a second screen for different images. The could call the button "A" or "B" or maybe even "Start" and "Select". Sounds like a crazy concept, doesn't it? Instead of having to move your eyes down (or up), you can just press a fucking button and bring the images to your screen that your eyes are already looking at-- rather than having to move your eyes to look at images on another screen.

    And sure, it also has a touchscreen on it. But have you ever actually THOUGHT about the prospect of a touchscreen on a handheld. What comes to mind? Me personally: WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT A TOUCH SCREEN? Big fucking deal! What in fucks name is that going to do for my enjoyment at all? They'll "think of something" you say? Just like they'll "think of something" with that connectivity crap? Listen, if the consumer can't think of an enjoyable use for a certain concept-- that's usually a very good sign it's a shit concept. Touchscreen? That's a shit concept.


    Does anyone remember me bashing Nintendo's GameCube/GBA connectivity and how FUCKING RIGHT I ENDED UP BEING? What a piece of shit connectivity! And was it NOT obvious the minute Nintendo released the details of how connectivity would work that it was just a SHIT GIMMICK? Most of you were like "Nintendo's selleded lots of Gameboys, and if you connected them gameboys with them gamecubes sales of them cubes things will magicically rise, because they're connecteed!", completely disregarding the fact that it was a TERRIBLE CONCEPT and people weren't going to give a fuck!

    Isn't Nintendo doing the exact same thing with the Nintendo DS? Two screens? Touch-screen capability? SHOOT ME.

    Listen, I am not opposed to change or originality-- but change and originality for their own sake? Fuck no. If it's useless, wasteful, and a bad idea-- I don't care how original it is.

    I think deep in most of your souls-- you agree with me. You know what i'm saying is right. That two screens and touch-ability-shit is a terrible waste, that it doesn't really do anything fun at all, that developers are going to be more turned off by the new concept because it's so fucking stupid.

    Nintendo has turned into a circus act. A parody of its old self. A gimmicky, poorly managed, future-less company that puts out wasteful shit like Nintendo DS when Sony is releasing something like the PSP. Sony, in the long run, is going to be kicking the shit out of Nintendo in the handheld market-- thanks in part to Sony's focus, and Nintendo's self-destructive blundering.

    Oh, hell. Why I am complaining? Reality is the final judge in all affairs, and reality will be setting in on Nintendo headquarters when they realize they lost their monopoly-- and thus their profits, because they thought sacrificing mainstream appeal for useless gimmicks was a good idea.

    Hey you know what, Nintendo? Why not just go all out and add on a third screen to the DS, or even a fourth. And make them all touch-screen. I mean, why the hell not?

    But since we're changing things, how 'bout you just make the shape of the DS a big fat fucking Pikachu? And you could also add a laser to one of the sides of the DS! A little red laser-- the kids will love it! And imagine the marketing potential of being able to include the word "laser" in your advertisements! WOWZERS!

    And you know what else? Add not ONE, but FOUR plugs for connecting the DS to the GameCube! Imagine that! I'm sure because your handhelds are so popular that kids will want to buy 4 GameCubes for each DS they own. That would give them 6 screens they could look at!!! Considering the average child has 6 pairs of eyes, they'll have no problem playing it!

    But here is the greatest most bestest idea of them all Nintendo: change the name of the handheld to "DOUBLE SCREEN REVOLUTION LASER POKEMON"!! Or just DSRLP for short?

    WOWZERS, I think that's a good idea! What do you think, Nintendo?
  • kincaide 13 Aug 2004 17:52:08 5,067 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    I always find that if you don't have a decent enough argument, it's best to start swearing.

    Lots of swearing here. Well done.
  • sam_spade 13 Aug 2004 17:53:18 15,745 posts
    Seen 21 hours ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    So original.

    We've have Stevas MK II now for rambling nonsense posts, you'll have to find a new niche. Like the fuck off one.
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 17:54:54 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    I think the laser idea is a really good one, Nintendo should go for it.
  • AnotherMartin 13 Aug 2004 17:57:19 6,229 posts
    Seen 10 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    For someone who claims to be so intelligent you have a serious lack of imagination.

    Here's one idea for you straight off the bat that might calm you down a bit.

    Put one big fucking button on the touch screen, what would that button be? The button you seem to want, a button that lets you switch the screen at the top between two images.

    There you go, you can have that one for free. Does that make you feel any better about the DS? Or are you just up to your normal attention seeking trolling?

    Have a nice day, missing you already.
  • Singularity 13 Aug 2004 17:58:15 3,255 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    Post deleted
  • Decoded 13 Aug 2004 17:58:34 4,426 posts
    Registered 17 years ago
    While the tone of the original post is unnecessarily vitriolic, I have to agree with the general sentiment. Nintendo are clearly attempting to do something inventive and original but I'm certainly not enthralled by the DS.

    It's a touch early to judge, perhaps.
  • kincaide 13 Aug 2004 17:59:10 5,067 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    Decoded wrote:
    It's a touch early to judge, perhaps.

    *Touch* - I like it - very clever
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 17:59:34 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    AnotherMartin wrote:
    Put one big fucking button on the touch screen, what would that button be? The button you seem to want, a button that lets you switch the screen at the top between two images.

    What the hell are you talking about?
  • Decoded 13 Aug 2004 18:00:41 4,426 posts
    Registered 17 years ago
    kincaide wrote:
    Decoded wrote:
    It's a touch early to judge, perhaps.

    *Touch* - I like it - very clever

    Er, yeah! Pun intended, of course.

    /uncrosses fingers
  • Sid-Nice 13 Aug 2004 18:02:40 15,848 posts
    Seen 3 years ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    Martin haven't you got a more important GeekMeet to attend?
    You might end up forgetting something by answering that clown. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked.
  • Moe-Foe 13 Aug 2004 18:03:12 87 posts
    Registered 17 years ago
    I agree completely!

    What the hell are Nintendo releasing a handheld games console that's affordable, offers the potential on new and different games rather than cheap ports, that also offers the potential of cheap wireless voice and messaging capabilites and looks quite, well, fun. Dammit I want to be able to watch movies on a really small screen and listen to music on something that does the job worse than my ipod.
  • Deleted user 13 August 2004 18:04:13
    Bill, take me off ignore and talk economics with me. i am begging you; i just want to see you exposed as someone who gains business insight from Fox news and the economist.
  • winston 13 Aug 2004 18:04:20 17 posts
    Seen 11 years ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    I don't really see the point of the second screen. From what i've seen, it looks like an interesting novelty that will be used on most games, will be useful on very few games, and of course the novelty will soon wear off.

    Nintendo's hope of survival is creating some good solid games. The problem they will now have, is that too many developers will be focusing on utilizing the dual screens - just because they are there. If they don;t make use of the second screen, people will think it's a bad game with no thought put into it.

    The Touch-Screen is also a strange idea. I find it hard enough keeping my GBA SP free from marks and scratches, and that's without intentionally touching it! How is the DS screens going to look after 6 months of kids hitting the screen in frustration?
  • marilena 13 Aug 2004 18:05:47 8,238 posts
    Seen 7 minutes ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    Ahem.

    I don't know why, but I'm going to adress some of your points. I must be really, really bored. Here goes:

    I hate the idea of surveys deciding what a company does next. It completely takes originality out of the question. And without any new ideas nothing really great can be produced.

    I tend to agree that most of us don't think the DS is a great idea. But then, it's not something deep down, many have expressed their doubts. I don't remember you saying conectivity is stupid (lucky me!), but I remember thinking it myself and hearing most people agree, so I don't think it takes so much brains.

    Overall, while I have a lot of doubts, I still believe the DS can be great and no amount of ravings can change that. Time will tell, you know. The truth is, you are saying this now so you can come back in an year and tell us how right you were, like anyone cares.

    And wasn't the thread title supposed to have a verb in it somewhere?

    Edit: The verb is there, something else is missing but my english grammar knowledge stops at "verb". Sorry.

    Edited by marilena at 17:08:53 13-08-2004
  • AnotherMartin 13 Aug 2004 18:06:09 6,229 posts
    Seen 10 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    Bill Gates is Evil wrote:
    AnotherMartin wrote:
    Put one big fucking button on the touch screen, what would that button be? The button you seem to want, a button that lets you switch the screen at the top between two images.

    What the hell are you talking about?

    Are you posting drunk again?

    One of your points seems to be not being able to handle looking at two little screens at once and that you can't see why they just don't have a button that changes the view on one screen between two images instead of having those two images on two screens.

    With me so far?

    Ok, so make the touch screen one big touch sensitive button.

    Still with me?

    That means you won;t rhave to look at two screens, you'll just be looking at the top screen, yes?

    Now the big button that is the touch screen becomes the button you want that allows you to switch the top screen between the two images that would have been displayed on the seprate screens.


    ...left out the second screen and added a button that allowed you to change the images on the single screen instead of having to look at a second screen for different images. The could call the button "A" or "B" or maybe even "Start" and "Select". Sounds like a crazy concept, doesn't it? Instead of having to move your eyes down (or up), you can just press a fucking button and bring the images to your screen that your eyes are already looking at-- rather than having to move your eyes to look at images on another screen....

    But then I'm European what do I know?
  • Day 13 Aug 2004 18:06:17 314 posts
    Seen 1 month ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    Having the second screen as a touch screen is perfect for Animal Crossing, it would make typing your letters to the animals so much easier...
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 18:07:01 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    AnotherMartin-- you can only look at ONE SCREEN AT A TIME.

    Nintendo DS has TWO SCREENS. But you can only look at ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE AT A TIME.
    ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE.
    AT.
    A.
    TIME.

    Lets say the image on the top screen was a Tree and the image on the bottom screen was an Apple. You can only look at one at a time. Your eyes can only see what they are pointed at.

    why doesn't Nintendo get rid of the second screen and allow the player to keep his eyes focused on the one screen?

    So if it was a single screen handheld, and you saw the image of the Tree-- all you have to do is press "A" and PRESTO! The image of an apple-- without having to move your eyes.

    Instead, Nintendo has a second screen in hopes people are stupid enough to think "the more screens the better". A second screen increases the price and power used.

    Nintendo is fucking retarded.
  • WoodenSpoon 13 Aug 2004 18:07:39 12,360 posts
    Seen 19 hours ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    Bill Gates is Evil wrote:
    Sure, there are dozens upon dozens of you who have been all "Yay, two screens, yay!". But you know what? When it comes down to it, people aren't going to give a fuck about having two screens.

    ?
  • Stevas-mkII 13 Aug 2004 18:08:43 3,848 posts
    Seen 6 years ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    sam_spade wrote:
    So original.

    We've have Stevas MK II now for rambling nonsense posts, you'll have to find a new niche. Like the fuck off one.


    /Is touched


    I think.
  • AnotherMartin 13 Aug 2004 18:08:45 6,229 posts
    Seen 10 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    Sid Nice wrote:
    Martin haven't you got a more important GeekMeet to attend?
    You might end up forgetting something by answering that clown. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked.

    Yep you're right, just killing time waiting for our lift. Which should be here around 6:30/7pm.

    Can't wait, should be good.
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 18:09:36 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    "Ok, so make the touch screen one big touch sensitive button."

    What? Why? Why not just make the "A" button change the images on the screen. Kinda like.. every other handheld ever created.
  • Deleted user 13 August 2004 18:10:26
    Bill Gates is Evil wrote:
    AnotherMartin-- you can only look at ONE SCREEN AT A TIME.

    Nintendo DS has TWO SCREENS. But you can only look at ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE AT A TIME.
    ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE.
    AT.
    A.
    TIME.

    Lets say the image on the top screen was a Tree and the image on the bottom screen was an Apple. You can only look at one at a time. Your eyes can only see what they are pointed at.

    why doesn't Nintendo get rid of the second screen and allow the player to keep his eyes focused on the one screen?

    So if it was a single screen handheld, and you saw the image of the Tree-- all you have to do is press "A" and PRESTO! The image of an apple-- without having to move your eyes.

    Instead, Nintendo has a second screen in hopes people are stupid enough to think "the more screens the better". A second screen increases the price and power used.

    Nintendo is fucking retarded.

    Actually this is nonsense. In europe we are equipped with something known as peripheral vision (unless you are unfortunate enough to have tunnel vision, like FOOTBALL player Edgar Davids), which is how we can see things 'in the corner of our eyes' for example. If you take that stance then you can only see the word you are looking at on the monitor, which is far bigger than a DS screen, and not all the adverts flashing around your text.
  • kincaide 13 Aug 2004 18:11:08 5,067 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 18 years ago
    Bill Gates is Evil wrote:
    So if it was a single screen handheld, and you saw the image of the Tree-- all you have to do is press "A" and PRESTO! The image of an apple-- without having to move your eyes.

    /Looks at Bill's screen
    /Wants to change screen
    /moves hand away from d pad to select Pac Man map screen
    /dies as Blinky eats him

    DAMN

    /realises it would have been easier to simply glance downwards at the map whilst playing game. But only has one screen
    /Throws away Bill's screen
  • Moe-Foe 13 Aug 2004 18:11:25 87 posts
    Registered 17 years ago
    Bill is American - he only has tunnel vision.
  • Bill-Gates-is-Evil 13 Aug 2004 18:11:26 8,934 posts
    Seen 7 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    Andrew you have been off of ignore for well over half a year.
  • Retroid Moderator 13 Aug 2004 18:11:40 45,464 posts
    Seen 6 days ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    Touchscreen.

    Meaning it's a screen which can detect where it's touched.

    Which means it can effectively be any type of custom button configuration you can imagine, able to change modes at the touch of a 'button'.

    That took a leap of imagination, didn't it?

    For the record... I'm not 100% convinced of this myself but I can see plenty of potential. It's whether it's used well, isn't it?
  • perilikid 13 Aug 2004 18:14:14 1,715 posts
    Seen 4 years ago
    Registered 17 years ago
    It's a shame that most of the usual forum posters are all on their way to the Peejmeet, they would've enjoyed this.

    It's a lovely rant, BGiE, it really is.

    Maybe Nintendo noticed this post and thought, "hang on, he's right. Let's scrap this idea and design a bog standard handheld that brings nothing new to the mix except the age-old tradition of upgrading a system for the sake of upgrading it".

    It's nice to see that you care so much about them though.
  • AnotherMartin 13 Aug 2004 18:15:00 6,229 posts
    Seen 10 years ago
    Registered 19 years ago
    Bill Gates is Evil wrote:
    AnotherMartin-- you can only look at ONE SCREEN AT A TIME.

    Nintendo DS has TWO SCREENS. But you can only look at ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE AT A TIME.
    ONE AT A TIME.

    ONE.
    AT.
    A.
    TIME.

    Lets say the image on the top screen was a Tree and the image on the bottom screen was an Apple. You can only look at one at a time. Your eyes can only see what they are pointed at.

    why doesn't Nintendo get rid of the second screen and allow the player to keep his eyes focused on the one screen?

    So if it was a single screen handheld, and you saw the image of the Tree-- all you have to do is press "A" and PRESTO! The image of an apple-- without having to move your eyes.

    Instead, Nintendo has a second screen in hopes people are stupid enough to think "the more screens the better". A second screen increases the price and power used.

    Nintendo is fucking retarded.

    Are you really that un-evolved that your eyes only have a viewing area about 6" square?

    Just think of it as one big screen.

    Surely someone of your massive intelligence (or do I mean ego?) can handle processing this small bit of visual information with out too much trouble?

    I have no problems taking in and processing all the information displayed on my 36" TV so I don't see how looking at two little screens is going to cause me a problem.

    I also like the way how after you realised your come back to my first post was a rather rash one with out actualy thinking about what I had said, you're now side stepping that and moving onto something else. But it wouldn't be the first time would it?
  • Deleted user 13 August 2004 18:15:31
    /can't be arsed pointing out the missing word in the thread title.
  • First Previous
Sign in or register to reply

Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.