This thread is one of those pure genius moments that makes me glad I found this site in the first place.  |
Stealing from communal work fridge • Page 5
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PhoenixFlames 9,263 posts
Seen 6 years ago
Registered 14 years ago -
PhoenixFlames 9,263 posts
Seen 6 years ago
Registered 14 years agoOn a more helpful note, put UV pen all over the tub and then find an excuse to shine a UV lamp on all your colleagues hands. -
Nozzinja 205 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 11 years agoPut a label on it saying "Breast Milk Butter" -
RICO_UK 8 posts
Registered 15 years agoA woman at work kept having her milk pinched, over time she got pissed off, one day she went for her milk of course it had all gone she then turned to everyone in staffroom and asked if anyone could taste piss in their tea. Nice work. I'll never forget it. -
ElNuevo9 14,164 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoDo the old phantom turd. Remove the butter from the bottom, spread a layer of shit and watch with delight as the butter slowly diminishes day by day. The inevitable browning of the butter will happen as they get to the bottom, before everyone realizing they've all been eating from a tub with an undercoating of shit! -
FWB 56,369 posts
Seen 6 months ago
Registered 20 years agoSome of you are so creative you should work in marketing. -
mwtb 2,381 posts
Seen 8 years ago
Registered 17 years agoFWB wrote:
Some of you are full of ideas about how to trick people into ingesting your shit. You should work in marketing.
I agree. -
mrpon 37,367 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 15 years agoThat is fookin vile Nino!! Good work. -
Nozzinja 205 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 11 years agoElNino9 wrote:
Do the old phantom turd. Remove the butter from the bottom, spread a layer of shit and watch with delight as the butter slowly diminishes day by day. The inevitable browning of the butter will happen as they get to the bottom, before everyone realizing they've all been eating from a tub with an undercoating of shit!
haha love it
/takes notes -
phycus 326 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 13 years agoI make my sarnies at work and had the same problem - in the end settled for pre-buttering my bread at home and taking to work to assemble with everything else. Stops it from going soggy before noon.
Had it been someone nicking your sarnie i'd suggest making one using dog or cat food and see what happens. -
matt6666 2,620 posts
Seen 10 years ago
Registered 13 years agoReally funny to think how your average workplace would react if somebody actually discovered a butter tub full of Human shit in the communal fridge.. -
RyanDS 14,074 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 13 years agoJust nonchalantly lick the butter off the knife then carry on spreading it on the toast. Don't make a big deal but ensure that people see.
Or sneeze into the butter and look really embarressed. -
Vice.Destroyer 7,437 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoThe cheekky bastards have not just been using my butter. They have now finished it and thrown away the bottle. This will not end well. -
mrpon 37,367 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 15 years agoButter in a bottle? What is this devilry?! -
RyanDS 14,074 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 13 years agoVice.Destroyer wrote:
The cheekky bastards have not just been using my butter. They have now finished it and thrown away the bottle. This will not end well.
Butter in a bottle?
Do you mean milk? And you just have to churn it every time you want some on your bread? -
StarchildHypocrethes 33,974 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoAll the cool kids are drinking butter these days. -
LockeTribal 4,740 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 14 years agoStarchildHypocrethes wrote:
All the cool kids are drinking butter these days.
It must be buttermilk!
/I'm hilarious
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magicpanda 15,130 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 17 years agoNothing like a nice warm glass of pure melted butter in the morning. -
Load_2.0 33,583 posts
Seen 12 hours ago
Registered 18 years agoThe obvious answer is that Vice.Destroyer is obviously insane and was fired from his job several months ago.
Since then he has taken to drinking a bottle of whisky every morning before wandering into his old job shouting and urinating wildly.
He refers to the smooth whisky taste as butter and becomes confused when they take it from him and send him on his way. -
Vice.Destroyer 7,437 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoErm, the anger has stopped me from writing coherently. Those guys have not only stolen my butter, but made me the butt of Eurogamers jokes. I just may take the advice of some of the previous posters. -
TechnoHippy 19,245 posts
Seen 3 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agobauhaus wrote:
Jupiters Cock!
Kill Them All.
This is how life is lived. When confronted with a problem, just ask yourself, what would Batiatus do? -
Ged42 7,985 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 14 years agoSay 'has anyone seen my donation to the sperm bank, I left it in a bottle in the fridge?' -
askew 24,121 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 16 years agoV.D does work in Scotchland. The whisky theory is not wildly innaccurate, I fear. -
Syrette 51,181 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 19 years agoElNino9 wrote:
Do the old phantom turd. Remove the butter from the bottom, spread a layer of shit and watch with delight as the butter slowly diminishes day by day. The inevitable browning of the butter will happen as they get to the bottom, before everyone realizing they've all been eating from a tub with an undercoating of shit!
The worrying thing about this is that you're not the only one with such an idea.
Nexus 6 wrote:
Make a big deal out of it one day and see what people say. See if there is a reaction from anyone.
Then, pretend to back down and say that anyone can use the butter - that you were being petty and you are now ashamed etc.
Then make the swap over night to a preprepared butter tub, one that you have taken the butter out of, placed a nice big poo in then lightly packed the sides and skim coated the top of with lovely tasty butter.
Be sure to be in the kitchen the next day when some thieving gypsy bastard scrapes a nice line over the top of the butter only to reveal a brown bottom bomb sitting there. -
heyyo 14,356 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 16 years agoO_O Fucking hell. There's passive aggressive and then there's crazy. -
Do we have a thread for passive aggressive notes? -
Put a small card next to the butter that reads:
"Every night I go home and cry for a while after I find a little more of my butter has been taken from me. Not because you have stolen a material object of mine but because I know that it really means you dislike me and wish I wasn't here.
If you're happy to make me feel this way then please take my butter as you wish" -
Come in with blue paint on your face and yell "You may take my butter, but you will never take my FREEEEDDOOOMMM!!"
Then hack them to death with a claymore.
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