| =D |
Know any good jokes? • Page 4
-
Asrill 398 posts
Seen 6 years ago
Registered 12 years ago -
CosmicFuzz 32,632 posts
Seen 21 minutes ago
Registered 15 years agocubbymoore wrote:
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a tad put out.
"Well, I suppose we answered that question," the egg mutters to no-one in particular.
HAhahahaha -
grace123 11 posts
Seen 11 years ago
Registered 11 years agoIn a Vampire Restaurant, Everybody was ordering hot Blood of Teenage girls as drink.
.
A vampire ordered Hot Water, all others started taunting him that he is a Dracula & should be ashamed of ordering water.
.
He suddenly took out a used "ALWAYS ULTRA" from his bag & smiled saying:
.
"I USE TEA BAGS -
grace123 11 posts
Seen 11 years ago
Registered 11 years agoMike_Hunt wrote:
One to remember:
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 10th point.
Officer: May I see the log book for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's log book in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.
Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Superintendant. The car was soon surrounded by police, and the Superintendant approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Superintendant: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Superintendant: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the log book.
The driver owned the car.
Superintendant: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Superintendant: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Boot is opened; no body.
Superintendant: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too!
[MH]
-
RetardStrong 3,229 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 13 years agoWhy do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can masturbate while looking him/her in the eyes -
TheSaint 20,950 posts
Seen 4 days ago
Registered 16 years agoStolen from popbitch:
I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."
I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning." -
billythekid 12,595 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 16 years agoWhy does everyone hate Audley Harrison?
It's not as if he has ever hurt anyone. -
Sports question:
Who has played for the England football team and the England cricket team?
Kenny Dalglish and Ian Botham -
souvlaki 1,191 posts
Seen 22 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoKenny Dalglish is Scottish -
mal 29,326 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 20 years agoHah, now that's funny .gif)
-
PepsiMax 604 posts
Seen 9 years ago
Registered 16 years ago@ RetardStrong
No.
Just no. -
MysteryLamb 629 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 11 years agosouvlaki wrote:
Kenny Dalglish is Scottish
hahaha classic -
souvlaki 1,191 posts
Seen 22 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoHmmm, I am wondering if I missed something and the joke is on me :-\
BTW - 12 people have played at the highest international level for both England's football and cricket teams. Clement Arthur Milton has captained both. -
natashaspice 335 posts
Seen 8 years ago
Registered 11 years agoA man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight.
The woman says, So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes
Edited by natashaspice at 17:17:13 08-12-2010 -
Load_2.0 33,582 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 18 years agoBilly_sastard wrote:
A family is stuck behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry on the M1 when a massive dildo comes flying out the back and hits the windscreen. The Mother, to hide her embarrasment says to the Children "my, that was a big insect". To which the 7 year old son says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size".
Heh, I like this one. -
I heard the joke on the news told by a sports reporter, so I kind of assumed it made sense and was funny because one played football, one played cricket and both were english! I dont follow football or cricket. Oh dear, lol. -
senso-ji 10,271 posts
Seen 6 hours ago
Registered 13 years agoSeasonal one:
Why is Santa so Jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live -
RetardStrong 3,229 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 13 years agoPepsiMax wrote:
@ RetardStrong
No.
Just no.
-
Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
Because he said he wouldn't.
BOOM! Take that Liberals! -
urban 13,148 posts
Seen 4 days ago
Registered 17 years agoGreggywocky... wrote:
Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
Because he said he wouldn't.
BOOM! Take that Liberals!
mini facepalm -
I quite liked it myself lol. -
guts 1,692 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 14 years agoGreggywocky... wrote:
Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
Because he said he wouldn't, but then could only get some semblence of power by COMPROMISING to create a coalition government and one of the things he had to bargain with was whether he would cross the road or not, but the tories have said he must if he wants to be deputy prime minister, so he did, but at least he has some say on what he does when he gets to the other side (supposedly).
BOOM! Take that Liberals!
fixed (I think).
/Education is a right, not a privilige, but it's not Nick Cleggs fault.
Fudge me sideways, I'm not normally openly political because I don't know a great deal about it and may well have just shown my ineptitude when it comes to matters of a parlimentary position. -
Greggywocky... wrote:
GLOL, joke of the year.
Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
Because he said he wouldn't.
BOOM! Take that Liberals!
.gif)
Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.
