The pun thread Page 2

  • Deleted user 4 October 2011 19:40:02
    I've invented a solvent for removing paint splashes from stereo equipment. I call it despothifi.
  • neilka 4 Oct 2011 22:02:28 21,208 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    I've invented a wireless communications technology that's better than a man called Edward. I call it Yfitopsed.
  • Deleted user 4 October 2011 22:04:09
    HairyArse wrote:
    Woman walks into a police station balling her eyes out. "I've been graped!" she cries.
    "Graped?" Says the police officer. Surely you man "Raped?"
    "No" She says. "There was a bunch of 'em."

    That would be gang rape not grape.
  • craigy Staff 5 Oct 2011 14:06:32 9,287 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    I got a new pair of shoes the other day, but they were eaten by a monkey.

    That's the last time I ever buy banana loafers.
  • boo 5 Oct 2011 14:16:54 13,426 posts
    Seen 3 days ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    /tumbleweed
  • craigy Staff 5 Oct 2011 14:24:02 9,287 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    At the weekend I invited my mates to the park for a picnic.

    They were gutted when they realised they had to share a chocolate bar amongst all twenty of them.
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 5 Oct 2011 14:25:53 47,491 posts
    Seen 17 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    That's silly. There's no way you have as many as 20 friends.
  • Genji 5 Oct 2011 14:27:36 19,682 posts
    Seen 6 years ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    It works better for me if there's a pun-worthy news article to riff off.
  • craigy Staff 5 Oct 2011 14:37:55 9,287 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    I'm off to see a Meat Loaf tribute act made up of over-60's retirees this weekend. I hear Malt Loaf are really good.
  • Genji 5 Oct 2011 14:39:56 19,682 posts
    Seen 6 years ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    Meat Loaf performed here last weekend. He was shit. ;_;
  • craigy Staff 6 Oct 2011 11:48:27 9,287 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed postal service.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • Deleted user 6 October 2011 11:55:57
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed restaurant specialising in liver dishes.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • LockeTribal 6 Oct 2011 12:34:52 4,678 posts
    Seen 16 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed experimental upright surgery clinic, specialising in liver transplants.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • MightyMouse 6 Oct 2011 13:06:55 1,160 posts
    Seen 2 weeks ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed experimental upright obstetrics clinic.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • senso-ji 10 Oct 2011 15:18:55 8,286 posts
    Seen 14 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    A man entered ten original puns in the National Pun Writing Contest. He hoped that one of his puns would take the big prize, but alas, no pun in ten did.
  • mrpon 10 Oct 2011 15:40:22 34,303 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    I've been watching a lot of these shitty tattoo programmes on Sky at the moment. All I can say is, there's a lot of backstabbing in this industry.
  • minky-kong 10 Oct 2011 16:56:14 13,506 posts
    Seen 4 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    DDevil wrote:
    I saw a magic tractor once. I was driving behind it and it turned into a field.

    I saw a deformed, dyslexic tractor once. I was driving behind it and it turned into a flid.
  • neilka 10 Oct 2011 17:14:53 21,208 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed courier service which refuses to employ anyone who uses a wheelchair.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • CaptainBinky 10 Oct 2011 17:23:14 2,243 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and eight of his mates, are starting an Adam Ant themed chicken take-away service.

    I expect great things from Apollo 9
  • President_Weasel 10 Oct 2011 17:35:25 12,349 posts
    Seen 2 weeks ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Some friends of Craigy are planning some performance art where they play a flute and an heir to the throne comes out of a laundry basket. I expect great things from Prince Charming.
  • CaptainBinky 10 Oct 2011 17:43:52 2,243 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    A friend of mine is planning to write a new Adam and the Ants themed operating system which will use a famous artist travelling to outer space in Spanish for some reason where there's a planet where all the inhabitants are from a popular EA game where you can make them eat and poo and have jobs and stuff -- as the logo.

    I expect great things from Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simi OS
  • craigy Staff 12 Oct 2011 15:05:45 9,287 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    I was on my weekly skydive the other day and had a close call. I was floating above the local curry shop when my parachute failed. The backup chute worked, thankfully, though I was in tears during the whole experience.

    You could say I was over korma with emotion.
  • Kosmoz 29 Oct 2011 12:39:14 8,183 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Belle and Sebastian's Stevie Jackson is releasing a solo album, titled "I can't get no (Stevie Jackson)". I thought it was quite good.
  • OllyJ 2 Nov 2011 10:44:56 4,031 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    can't we have a subject rather than randomness?

    maybe?
  • neilka 2 Nov 2011 10:58:12 21,208 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    I don't get it.
  • Jeepers 2 Nov 2011 11:07:53 16,515 posts
    Seen 32 minutes ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    The subject is now "Vaginas".
  • opalw00t 2 Nov 2011 11:09:44 12,804 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    I've given up on fencing.

    I just can't see the point anymore.
  • Murbs 2 Nov 2011 11:10:14 23,870 posts
    Seen 9 hours ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    @Jeepers - screw it, I'm in.
  • Tonka 2 Nov 2011 11:20:27 27,703 posts
    Seen 9 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    I had an idea for an "Improve Spice Girls" campaign, I call it _ Desportyfy
  • Tonka 2 Nov 2011 11:22:20 27,703 posts
    Seen 9 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed FEar Factor competitor.

    I expect great things from Stand in the Liver.



    I'm not very good at this
Log in or register to reply

Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.