Celebrity Paedogeddon (now feat. other celeb sex offences) Page 249

  • Jono62 11 Aug 2019 13:34:31 22,670 posts
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    How convenient. Clinton had something to do with it
  • Load_2.0 11 Aug 2019 13:50:15 29,765 posts
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    There would have been a queue of inmates outside his cell.

    Knocking him off would have been a decent payday.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 11 Aug 2019 15:41:40 6,369 posts
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    Both sides going into full-blown allegation/conspiracy overload on this one, I see. Maybe before believing any of that stuff, remember "Nick".
  • mothercruncher 11 Aug 2019 18:03:22 16,474 posts
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    Nick Grimshaw?
  • challenge_hanukkah 11 Aug 2019 18:06:18 11,135 posts
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    Kershaw, Shirley?
  • Dirtbox 11 Aug 2019 18:21:19 91,187 posts
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    I like how it's also the fist successful suicide at MCC in 21 years.

    And to add to the conspiracy, there is some "evidence" that the body wasn't Epstein.
    https://i.redd.it/apcok8r7ksf31.jpg
    https://i.redd.it/g8q8bkpjgqf31.png

    This is going to be like the moon landing or Roswell, people will be going back and forth on this for years, witnesses will emerge and sell their stories, all that shit.

    At least it has united everyone with a common belief.
  • thelzdking 11 Aug 2019 20:05:48 9,522 posts
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    User niteninja will have the lowdown on what's really going on here.
  • DrStrangelove 11 Aug 2019 20:28:29 14,489 posts
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    I found it interesting how he allegedly could hang himself only because guards weren't following standard procedure to check on him every 30 minutes. Hanging takes much less than 30 minutes, so what's even the point?
  • Frogofdoom 11 Aug 2019 20:33:22 13,948 posts
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    Not necessarily, it can take over 20 minutes for someone to die from hanging. They will be left with pretty severe brain damage though.
  • DrStrangelove 11 Aug 2019 20:43:45 14,489 posts
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    Even if he doesn't die, it will only take a few minutes to cause such severe brain damage that he'll be no more than a life-supported vegetable. I think the point of a meaningful suicide watch would be to prevent that too. So 30 minutes is ridiculously long in my book.
  • Rodney 11 Aug 2019 20:49:19 3,904 posts
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    Also, wouldn't it have occured to the prison authorities 'if he dies it's going to look very suspicious and cause us a load of grief so we best be extra careful'
  • Kronos 11 Aug 2019 20:58:37 752 posts
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    Load_2.0 wrote:
    There would have been a queue of inmates outside his cell.

    Knocking him off would have been a decent payday.
    Faking his death and getting him out probably an exponentially bigger payday.

    I see Barr is 'appalled' over Epstein's death, announces his office will lead its own cover-up I mean investigation into the matter.
  • mrpon 11 Aug 2019 21:10:25 35,396 posts
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    Hang himself with what? Pube noose?!
  • Baihu1983 11 Aug 2019 21:14:50 11,625 posts
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    Jono62 wrote:
    How convenient. Clinton had something to do with it
    Royal family have a lovely history of getting rid of problems
  • challenge_hanukkah 11 Aug 2019 21:19:42 11,135 posts
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    Yeah, Philip totally killed Diana with his jewel encrusted blunderbuss.
  • nickthegun 11 Aug 2019 21:37:55 78,544 posts
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    Trump must be pretty confident that he didn't touch any kids, otherwise he would be inciting people to kill Mexicans by now.
  • DrStrangelove 11 Aug 2019 21:57:58 14,489 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Hang himself with what? Pube noose?!
    Shoelace, shirt arms, cloth ripped from your clothing or your bedclothes. I'd expect them to forbid shoelaces for this reason, but if you don't force the inmate to live naked in an empty cell, they will have means to hang themselves.
  • mothercruncher 12 Aug 2019 07:46:56 16,474 posts
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    Thereís special suicide clothing that canít be ripped. Prisons can have this covered, if the will is there.
  • Baihu1983 12 Aug 2019 07:49:56 11,625 posts
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    Apparently he had that
  • fontgeeksogood 12 Aug 2019 07:54:06 6,762 posts
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    You want a noose? I can get you a noose, believe me. There are ways, Jeff. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a noose by this afternoon--with a knot. These fucking amateurs
  • mrpon 12 Aug 2019 09:14:25 35,396 posts
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    But how do they smuggle it in PES?!

    /sniggers
  • dominalien 12 Aug 2019 09:18:08 9,233 posts
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    They weave it from the hair off the back of Hairy Joe from cell 54.
  • TechnoHippy 12 Aug 2019 09:25:20 15,382 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Yeah, Philip totally killed Diana with his jewel encrusted blunderbuss.
    The end result looked pretty similar.
  • CowsMakeNoise 12 Aug 2019 13:20:52 73 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Yeah, Philip totally killed Diana with his jewel encrusted blunderbuss.
    Iím pretty sure thatís what Philip calls his dick.
  • challenge_hanukkah 12 Aug 2019 13:22:11 11,135 posts
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    "Batten down the hatches Liz, I'm reloading!"
  • fontgeeksogood 12 Aug 2019 13:49:39 6,762 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    But how do they smuggle it in PES?!

    /sniggers
    Spackling
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 13 Aug 2019 08:07:26 20,717 posts
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    Katy Perry now. More like Rapey Perry amirite.
  • Load_2.0 13 Aug 2019 08:23:47 29,765 posts
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    If pantsing people is abuse I'm guilty of multiple charges at high school and Uni.

    Edited by Load_2.0 at 08:24:02 13-08-2019
  • Mola_Ram 17 Sep 2019 03:23:57 21,246 posts
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    So remember when Elon Musk got all huffy that someone who wasn't him saved some kids stuck in a cave, and called the guy who did a pedo? Turns out it was just some lighthearted joshing, people called each other pedos all the time when he was growing up in South Africa!

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/sep/16/elon-musk-defamation-lawsuit-pedo-guy-tweet-diver

    🤔
  • thelzdking 17 Sep 2019 03:55:16 9,522 posts
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    "I meant 'pedo' as in short for 'pedestrian', because he's not using a Tesla or one of my submarines. Case closed."
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