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We all have them, so go on share them with the world. Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other "How do you drive this thing?" teehee /coat /glasses /handbag /midget |
Best "Bad Joke" you know
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Seto 671 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Khanivor 44,800 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 20 years agoIt's a new one, so while not the best I can remember it, (ie still on clipboard);
What do you call an epileptic on a bed of lettuce?
Seizure salad -
deem 31,667 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Dirtbox 92,595 posts
Seen 21 hours ago
Registered 19 years ago -
Tiger_Walts 16,674 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 19 years agoTwo ants are sat on top of a cereal box when suddenly one of them gets up and runs to the other side of the box and back.
"Why did you do that?" asked the other ant.
Puffing and wheezing the atheletic ant replied, "Because it said 'Tear along the dotted line'."
Be careful though, bad jokes can kill! -
deem 31,667 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 18 years ago -
deem 31,667 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Communal-Toilet 280 posts
Seen 12 years ago
Registered 19 years agoPerson 1 - Are you a bummer tied up ?
Person 2 - No!
Person 1 - Bummer on the loose! (Runs around room waving arms in the air)
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magicpanda 15,130 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoQ: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes!!
BOOM BOOM TSHH!
(two elephants and a cymbal falling off a cliff!) -
Best bad jokes:
Parliamentary democracy
The Conservative party
Or is this not what you meant...?
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Seto 671 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoGood old PVPOnline
linky -
Seto 671 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoHyoushi wrote:
I liked this one too.
beat me to it -
ERG1008 817 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 18 years agoHyoushi wrote:
Best Kiss-related bad joke:
Guy 1: "Are those Paul Stanley's trousers you're wearing?!"
Guy 2: "No, they're jeans." (Gene's)
That is so bad it made me laugh out loud in my dull office annoying the dullards.
Good work sir.
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username 848 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 18 years agoBest Christmas bad joke:
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa. -
commander-dixon 879 posts
Seen 5 years ago
Registered 19 years agovery bad joke ...
why dogs selflick their balls ?
because they can :/ -
Singularity 3,282 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 18 years ago -
Lutz 48,870 posts
Seen 4 years ago
Registered 18 years agoduncan wrote:
ROFL!
what's white and streaks across the sky?
the coming of the lord.
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Necropolis 896 posts
Seen 9 years ago
Registered 19 years agoI really want to apologise in advance for this really bad and completely out of taste joke.
If easily offended (or female), avoid the below......
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Whats the difference between a 75 year old womans pu$$y and a meat pie?
Nothing, in both cases you have to peel off the crust and scoop out the jelly before you get to the meat...
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(o/
I'm so sorry. -
HoraceGoesSquiffy 1,563 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 17 years agoThat is truly foul. -
Khanivor 44,800 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 20 years ago/tries to remember -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 20 hours ago
Registered 18 years agoMind Rubbers! Mind Rubbers!
Get 'em here!
50p each or three for a pound. -
Necropolis 896 posts
Seen 9 years ago
Registered 19 years agoI told you it was bad, gave warning space and everything.
If people want me to edit it out, let me know...
Oh and feel pity for me, I got told that by my driving instructor going 50 through town. -
Freylis 995 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 18 years agoTrying to steer us back on course...
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto. -
Stevas-mkII 3,848 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 18 years agoThis is, like, the best joke I ever did hear. I swear, my mate told me it when we left school, and I laughed ALL THE WAY HOME.
My school was four miles away.
We walked to and from school, back in my day.
Anyway. Here it is.
This dude is driving down a long straight road at night, and he's all sleepy and shit. Only one headlight is working, and it only works every other ten seconds. That is, it's on for ten, then off for ten. He's got the heater cranked up real high, and the road he's on is, like, impossibly flat. It ocurs to him this is possibly the most comfortable journey he's ever had. He settles back in the seat and - WOAH! - almost fell asleep, there.
Actually, no, he did. He did fall asleep.
And he wakes up just in time to see the failing light illuminate something crossing in front of him, but then it does its whole "oh, I'm not working for these here ten seconds" and now he can't see a thing.
He slams the brakes on, and the car still ploughs ever onward. "Shit!" he says, and pulls the hand brake too, but still the car is heading towards a small shadow in the middle of the road. "Bollocks!" he says, and opens his door to lessen the aerodynamic of the car. Still going too fast. "Fuck!" He didn't want to, but he realises he's going to have to steer off the side of the road to avoid whatever it is, and into the darkness. He glances out of the window into the gloom. "Man, I just know I'm going to hit a big rock." He decides to throw caution to the wind, and swings the wheel violently to the side.
He hits a big rock.
Now he's pissed. He gets out and checks the damage with a torch. It's pretty bad.
Livid now, he rounds the car to find out just what the hell it was he saw crossing the road, and he finds - sitting there looking quite oblivious to all the trouble - the largest damn frog in the whole damn world. I'm not kidding. This fucker must have weighed in at about "small human".
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, frog?" he says. "What the hell are you doing crossing a road in the dead of night like that? What are you anyhow? Some sort of big dumb super toad? Don't you realise I could have killed you there? Don't you know how close you come to losing your big damn super sized fucking life?"
The frog seemed to take this in. Clearly, being super sized was the least of it's abilities, for it was apparent it could understand English. After a short while, the frog clears his throat, and replies. "You want to buy a wardrobe?"
If anyone could enlighten me as to why exactly I found this fucking joke so funny, I'd really appreciate it. -
Stevas-mkII 3,848 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 18 years agoYeah. It is. When I say the best joke, I mean the one that made me laugh the most.
I found it hilarious... when I was 15. Perhaps that has something to do with it.
I was possibly also high. -
Freylis 995 posts
Seen 2 years ago
Registered 18 years agoIt's kinda like one of those non-joke-jokes that were all the rage a few years back.
A man walks into a newsagents to buy some crisps. "Packet of salt and vinegar please mate." The guy behind the counter shrugs his shoulders, "We only have cheese and onion." "It's alright," says the other guy, "I'm on my bike."
The joke that made me laugh the loudest was probably the one about the wide-mouthed frog. I really can't be arsed typing it all out here, but it made me nearly pee my pants at the pub one night.
Or the 12 pints of lager made me nearly pee, one or the other. -
Stevas-mkII 3,848 posts
Seen 7 years ago
Registered 18 years agoHey, this thread asked me for a bad joke - okay? So I give it a bad joke.
And then some. -
Salaman 24,162 posts
Seen 6 days ago
Registered 17 years agook ok ok.
I got one.
Someone ask me wether I'm a tree.
Go on.
Ask me.
Ask me.
Goan! Goan! Ask.
Ask me wether I'm a tree. -
Salaman 24,162 posts
Seen 6 days ago
Registered 17 years agonope -
In other miscellaneous bad jokes:
What do you do when someone has an epileptic seizure in the bathtub?
Toss in your dirty laundry
And what's better than winnign a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Walking.
) 
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