A few poems I've written.... (not about love)! Page 2

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  • Nanocrystal 26 Jul 2012 20:59:02 1,690 posts
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    A poster insomaniac was rather good with rhymes
    I must have read this very thread about a dozen times

    Have you read Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl? Amazing stuff, my dad read it to me so many times when I was a kid he can still recite most of it by heart.
  • ZuluHero 26 Jul 2012 21:17:12 6,372 posts
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    I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective, with interesting rhythmic devices too, which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of the poet's compassionate soul.

    Which contrives through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into what ever the poem was about!
  • jonsaan 26 Jul 2012 21:20:47 26,774 posts
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    These go up to eleven.
  • Deleted user 26 July 2012 22:19:15
    I'm waiting for the thomas the tank engine vs insomaniac
  • INSOMANiAC 26 Jul 2012 22:19:41 4,477 posts
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    Just wrote this about one of my Facebook 'friends' who thinks he's a philosopher. He's actually a work shy moron. Not my finest work but only took 2 minutes. Enjoy.

    Facebook philosopher

    I'm one of lifes great thinkers, I'm facebooks Du Boton,
    My lines are great, not stinkers, my concepts are right on.

    On days and nights while you're at work I scrawl my pointles quips,
    Philosophy I've coined from rap, and certain top ten hits

    A crayon up a monkeys arse could prob'ly do the same,
    But could it grasp my ease and skill at typing the inane?

    Edited by INSOMANiAC at 23:13:52 26-07-2012
  • Agent_Llama 26 Jul 2012 22:26:51 3,686 posts
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    Love these. Good job, sir.
  • INSOMANiAC 26 Jul 2012 22:47:04 4,477 posts
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    I've been 'unfriended' I think he took the hint haha

    Thanks Agent_Llama

    Edited by INSOMANiAC at 22:47:21 26-07-2012
  • INSOMANiAC 29 Jul 2012 22:57:32 4,477 posts
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    Another one I found from a while ago that isn't particularly great;

    The narcassists manifesto†

    People just don't understand I have no sense of we,†
    There is no us, there is no love there's simply only me.†

    If you like, I can pretend but purely for my needs,
    I'll make feel that you're the one until you're on your knees.†

    I need supply and I demand, enveloping my prey,
    Constricting from a mask of lies, I'll squeeze your life away. †

    Edited by INSOMANiAC at 22:59:29 29-07-2012
  • puddleduck 29 Jul 2012 23:36:22 1,875 posts
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    Reminds me of a Python I once knew :p
  • mal 29 Jul 2012 23:53:01 29,326 posts
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    Not sure 'knees' and 'needs' strictly rhyme, but I rather like that one.
  • INSOMANiAC 30 Jul 2012 11:15:54 4,477 posts
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    mal wrote:
    Not sure 'knees' and 'needs' strictly rhyme
    For me, writing poetry is like having sex with animals, if it feels right and there's no other choice, just do it!
  • TechnoHippy 30 Jul 2012 11:29:17 14,707 posts
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    I prefer the term 'making love'. :-)
  • Murbs 30 Jul 2012 11:36:54 23,887 posts
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    I keep thinking all the posts in here are meant to rhyme; the second part of Nanocrystal's post up there's a crime. Then I realise too late it was never meant to succeed as it's just a random comment mentioning a favourite read.
  • INSOMANiAC 31 Jul 2012 21:40:57 4,477 posts
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    The swollen eyes of battered wives,
    The petty lies and filthy lives.
    The darkened doors that hide the whores,
    The dirty floors where should be chores.

    The lazy feet of some dole cheat,
    The back-end street where smackheads meet.
    The sick notes in their fake coats,
    The scrotes all in the same boat.
  • jonsaan 31 Jul 2012 21:42:07 26,774 posts
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    That is very chavist.
  • spindle9988 12 Sep 2012 14:06:59 4,715 posts
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    This is a poem I popped into a work comp a few years ago. I am not a poet or a good writer so punctuation and grammar isnt great

    My Poem

    I was sitting at work and I thought of you
    A gorgeous young lady who always wears blue
    I sit there and try to get you out of my head
    When I get home your asleep in my bed
    But once again only in my head

    I wake the next day and decide what to do
    Ill ask her today, whats the worst she can do
    I walk up to see her as Ive planned what to say
    My confidence crumbles, I walk away.
    Ill try again another day

    Im walking to work as I do everyday
    I catch a glimpse of the girl and shes walking my way
    I try to pretend that Im cool and donít care.
    Our eyes meet, I try my best not too stare
    Who knows maybe she cares

    She throws me a smile and asks how I am
    I nearly trip up, she knows who I am
    She asks me If ill be free for a drink
    I say hows Friday she replies with a wink
    I wonder what she drinks

    10 years have passed since that amazing day
    That girls now my wife and were doing ok
    We laugh and joke about times in the past
    She still wears blue and she still makes me laugh
    Im so glad that she walked down my path

  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 12 Sep 2012 14:13:53 47,491 posts
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    I can make rhymes
    Time after time...s
  • INSOMANiAC 22 Feb 2013 04:09:39 4,477 posts
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    I'm back ! I was reading the shite on deviantart so I came up with this

    Your poetry is SHIT !

    I put it to you, that your poetry's shit,
    You moron, you emo, you self centered tit

    I read the the first line and I don't really care,
    For the eyes of your ex or the smell of her hair

    Just think, when you write, that you're ideas are drab,
    Your generic, hysteric, wet rantings are sad

    You're not the first person to self harm or love,
    But don't write it down mate, enough is enough

    We've seen it before you pathetic buffoon,
    we've heard even more, at least set to a tune,

    So god please just spare us your whinging teen angst,
    Go out, find a girl and try'n get in her pants


    Edited by INSOMANiAC at 05:54:18 22-02-2013
  • Phattso 22 Feb 2013 05:43:07 23,091 posts
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    INSOMANiAC wrote:
    Just think, when you write, that you're ideas are drab,
    You're generic, hysteric, wet rantings are sad

    Brave to keep putting these things up, but I do enjoy them. Kudos, sirrah. Kudos.

    Edited by Phattso at 05:43:45 22-02-2013
  • INSOMANiAC 22 Feb 2013 05:55:17 4,477 posts
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    To be fair I wrote it at 4am on an ipad so I blame both of those things and not my idiocy. Cheers!
  • INSOMANiAC 22 Feb 2013 14:01:23 4,477 posts
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    That last one is provoking quite the backlash by buffoons on Deviantart haha.Oh deary me
  • Deleted user 22 February 2013 14:20:56
    Deviantart is a bit wank. I'm not sure poetry is served by trolling them with it, though ;)
  • INSOMANiAC 22 Feb 2013 14:21:53 4,477 posts
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    Hey, it provoked a reaction so in that respect it served it purpose I suppose !
  • nickthegun 22 Feb 2013 14:26:14 73,569 posts
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    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue
    INSOMNIACS poems all sound the exactly alike because they use the same iambic pentameter.
  • INSOMANiAC 22 Feb 2013 14:30:20 4,477 posts
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    I dont know that guy but he sounds far more talented than I !
  • ibenam 22 Feb 2013 20:59:26 3,133 posts
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    Your momís vagina is like wonderland,
    Every week she fucks around 100 man
    I was fisting her the other day
    and I swear someone shook my hand.

    Not my material.
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