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Prompted by my unnecessarily long review of the new bourne movie, I thought it would be a nice Christmassy thing to do to complain about movie clichés. The thing that prompted this was, coming quite soon off the back of watching skyfall, whenever anyone liberates a car or motorcycle, its in perfect nick. If anyone ever tried to steal my car and then thrash it in a high intensity car chase, the clutch would go almost immediately and the hero would just be sat there revving the engine into oblivion. |
Annoying Movie Cliches
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nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years ago -
sport 17,064 posts
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Registered 16 years agoA horror/suspense cliche eluded to in Cabin in the Woods, but why the fuck to people split up when faced with some sort of peril. Honestly, stick together, back to back, weapon in hand FFS! -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoI liked the car chase in the first Bourne because he went through a few questions with Lola about service schedules and tyre rotations before spanking her Mini up and down the stairs. -
billythekid 12,595 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 16 years agoWhen a car pulls away from a standstill, the tyres will squeal. Even on a fucking dirt road. > 
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nickthegun 87,711 posts
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Registered 16 years agoObviously the answer to everything anyone is going to post is 'Otherwise it would be a short, boring film', but thanks for entering into the spirit nonetheless. -
sport 17,064 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI'm sure it's been mentioned before but why don't movie people say "Bye" or some form of farewell message when finishing a phone conversation. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
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Registered 16 years agoWhenever you see a clever time bomb that needs diffusing, the villain always handily uses a different colour for each wire. -
roz123 7,104 posts
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Registered 13 years agoSex scenes never end with someone going to grab tissues or trying to position themselves so they aren't lying on bodily fluids. -
Stickman 29,986 posts
Seen 5 months ago
Registered 17 years agoThe way assault rifles don't blow huge gaping holes in people and explosions don't result in bits of human being spread over a large area.
If people are going to moan about violence in films at least let's make it realistic! -
smoothpete 37,743 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoFireballs in explosions. Don't tend to happen in real life. And diving away from an explosion will not help.
That said, it is true that cool guys don't look at explosions. -
localnotail 23,079 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 13 years agoCrashed vehicles with heroes in do not explode, or at least remain intact until they are well clear.
All other crashed vehicles explode violently, instantly.
Edit: or, what Nick wrote.
Edited by localnotail at 11:07:08 18-12-2012 -
When they use American words for things when we have perfectly good British words for them. -
TheSaint 20,950 posts
Seen 4 days ago
Registered 16 years agoroz123 wrote:
Judging by films a lot of women also leave their tops/bras on during sex. If they do decide to take everything off then modesty will hit the minute they finish and they'll make sure they are covered by a sheet at all times.
Sex scenes never end with someone going to grab tissues or trying to position themselves so they aren't lying on bodily fluids. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoWhenever the group are troubled by an unprecedented terror, dinosaurs, ghosts, zombies, aliens - whatever, there's somehow always one expert in how to deal with them who dies just after they've dispatched a few baddies and saved some lives. -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
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Registered 16 years agoButton pressers. Mysterious space ship? Dungeon full of misery? If you see a button, get it pressed. -
TheSaint 20,950 posts
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Registered 16 years agoWomen all work for magazines while men tend to do unspecified jobs in modern spacious open plan offices. -
smoothpete 37,743 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoAll computers beep constantly -
I think there's a bit of a difference between "total reality not being accurately portrayed in films" and film clichés.
For example, the latest Bourne film (again) had the classic "woman being chased around a Middle Eastern market place" sequence which I swear to god I've seen in twenty different films. I was just waiting for her to either grab a headscarf and blend into the crowd, hide in a basket or duck into a dark alleyway to wait for the pursuers to run past without thinking to look in the dark alleyway where she would obviously be hiding (she went for the latter).
This isn't typical convention like L-shaped sheets to cover boobs, or unrealistic one-sided phone conversations. It's just pure laziness.
Edited by kalel at 11:05:55 18-12-2012 -
smoothpete 37,743 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 17 years ago@kalel, OK I'm with you. So as a precursor to set that middle eastern market scene, there is typically a panning helicopter shot of an old mosque or old building or something like that so the viewer thinks "oooh this place is old and middle eastern, and very foreign so must be dangerous", thereby setting the scene and tone for your market chase. Would you count that as a cliche? -
JuanKerr 37,710 posts
Seen 10 months ago
Registered 15 years agograysonavich wrote:
I could care less about that.
When they use American words for things when we have perfectly good British words for them. -
Kangoo 1,441 posts
Seen 17 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoTalking while driving, seriously if I can't take my eyes off the road for more than 2 seconds, how can people drive without looking at the road for 20 seconds without hitting anything/veering etc.
So petty but so irritating for me.
/feels better now -
Stickman 29,986 posts
Seen 5 months ago
Registered 17 years agosmoothpete wrote:
Usually with a middle eastern woman on the soundtrack going "Aayaaaaaaheyaaaaamalundaaaaaa...."
@ kalel, OK I'm with you. So as a precursor to set that middle eastern market scene, there is typically a panning helicopter shot of an old mosque or old building or something like that so the viewer thinks "oooh this place is old and middle eastern, and very foreign so must be dangerous", thereby setting the scene and tone for your market chase. Would you count that as a cliche? -
smoothpete wrote:
Hah, yeah
@ kalel, OK I'm with you. So as a precursor to set that middle eastern market scene, there is typically a panning helicopter shot of an old mosque or old building or something like that so the viewer thinks "oooh this place is old and middle eastern, and very foreign so must be dangerous", thereby setting the scene and tone for your market chase. Would you count that as a cliche?.gif)
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RobTheBuilder 6,976 posts
Seen 1 day ago
Registered 17 years agoHeroes have robotic super steady pinpoint aim, and the enemy has jittery trampoline drunken aim. 800,000,000 rounds later and he hasn't even hit them once. -
localnotail 23,079 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 13 years agoMeals / drinks are weird in films. People are always ordering / making stuff and then abandoning it. So wasteful, plus foolish in the long run - you'll probably need the energy, so finish it or at least take it with you. I have no idea why this bothers me. Probably because "starving children in Africa would love to eat so well" etc. -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agoThe new Bourne has them all:
The destructive, consequence free car chase around a foreign city.
The junk thats actually more like a 4 star thai hotel. -
Stickman wrote:
Genuine chuckles there. Thumbs up.
smoothpete wrote:
Usually with a middle eastern woman on the soundtrack going "Aayaaaaaaheyaaaaamalundaaaaaa...."
@ kalel, OK I'm with you. So as a precursor to set that middle eastern market scene, there is typically a panning helicopter shot of an old mosque or old building or something like that so the viewer thinks "oooh this place is old and middle eastern, and very foreign so must be dangerous", thereby setting the scene and tone for your market chase. Would you count that as a cliche?
.gif)
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