Random Musings Page 1297

  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 16 May 2019 14:33:03 20,741 posts
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    Surely it's a flat rate fee per ejaculation.
  • Frogofdoom 16 May 2019 14:35:06 13,982 posts
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    That's a quality new page first post.

    Edited by Frogofdoom at 14:35:26 16-05-2019
  • Load_2.0 17 May 2019 07:22:54 29,782 posts
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    These are professionals.

    You are ejaculating exactly on time at the end of the session, whether you want to or not.
  • mrpon 17 May 2019 08:14:30 35,401 posts
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    Alastair wrote:
    Maybe ask for a happy beginning.
    Then the time pressure is off, and you might get a happy ending as well...?
    No need for massage oil then.
  • Psychotext 17 May 2019 09:53:14 65,469 posts
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    Eww... sticky.
  • elstoof 17 May 2019 10:19:23 23,968 posts
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    Iíd imagine the oil content is quite high
  • mothercruncher 17 May 2019 11:30:39 16,487 posts
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    As long as we get to saturate Poly amiriiiiiiiiitttte
  • Alastair 17 May 2019 11:55:01 23,764 posts
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    Kalel has gone a bit quiet.
    Maybe he's approaching the Billy Mill roundabout and doesn't want to break concentration...
  • GuybrushFreepwood 17 May 2019 14:05:16 1,267 posts
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    As Decks says, itís a flat rate. Iíve been to a place where they offered a range of services.
  • Load_2.0 17 May 2019 14:20:09 29,782 posts
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    GuybrushFreepwood wrote:
    As Decks says, itís a flat rate. Iíve been to a place where they offered a range of services.
    You wank off the masseuse?
  • wuntyphyve 17 May 2019 14:25:52 12,669 posts
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    That doesn't seem very economical. A flat rate surely doesn't encompass:

    a) Member elevation and excitement time
    b) Fluid load - cleanup
    c) Fluid spray dispersal - detection and cleanup
    d) Member depression time

    Point d is important as no-one wants to walk out of a massage parlor with a raging after-boner
  • mrpon 17 May 2019 14:58:28 35,401 posts
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    wuntyphyve wrote:
    d) Member depression time
    Stilletos? ;)
  • grey_matters 17 May 2019 15:58:39 4,779 posts
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    wuntyphyve wrote:
    That doesn't seem very economical. A flat rate surely doesn't encompass:

    a) Member elevation and excitement time
    b) Fluid load - cleanup
    c) Fluid spray dispersal - detection and cleanup
    d) Member depression time

    Point d is important as no-one wants to walk out of a massage parlor with a raging after-boner
    Added to that; a, b, c, and d would have to scale a bit if a customer went for another round.
    A flat rate just doesn't make sense financially.

    Edit: well 'a' would. Maybe you make back some time on the other 3.

    Edited by grey_matters at 16:00:07 17-05-2019
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 17 May 2019 16:23:10 6,374 posts
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    Presumably depending on the precise nature of the service, b and c could be eliminated through the mechanism of "swallow".
  • Frogofdoom 17 May 2019 16:23:59 13,982 posts
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    I'm not sure that's offered at such locations.
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 17 May 2019 16:25:16 6,374 posts
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    @Frogofdoom No, but it could be a decent efficiency saving - decent process-optimisation.
  • Frogofdoom 17 May 2019 16:31:01 13,982 posts
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    Not really as they would need to spend the saved time cleaning their teeth as cum breath probably isnt great for business.

    I didnt wake up this morning imagining I would be using that sentence.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 17 May 2019 16:48:38 1,267 posts
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    Place I went to (which Iíd thought was legit until she said, do you want anything else?) did:

    Hand job
    Take her top off
    Take all her clothes off
    Take all her clothes off and let me touch
    Take all her clothes off and lie on top of me

    I got the impression cost went up from the first one and you could also mix and match.
  • fontgeeksogood 17 May 2019 16:53:19 6,779 posts
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    This is what I imagine the Basic Beckies who go to 'trane reiki' wind up doing
  • Graxlar_v3 17 May 2019 16:53:58 7,751 posts
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    GuybrushFreepwood wrote:
    Place I went to (which Iíd thought was legit until she said, do you want anything else?) did:

    Hand job
    Take her top off
    Take all her clothes off
    Take all her clothes off and let me touch
    Take all her clothes off and lie on top of me

    I got the impression cost went up from the first one and you could also mix and match.
    What did you go for?
  • elstoof 17 May 2019 17:24:55 23,968 posts
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    Where was this place?
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 17 May 2019 17:34:07 20,741 posts
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    I could really go for a naked girl lying on top of me right now. I haven't been lain on for ages.
  • anephric 17 May 2019 17:55:13 3,389 posts
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    The local massage parlour (which is notorious) just does topless handjobs and the occasional titwank, anything more than that you need to go to a proper punting place.
  • GuybrushFreepwood 17 May 2019 18:00:20 1,267 posts
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    @elstoof Leeds. Thai massage place near the theatre. Looked all legit to me. I did wonder why it was so good value.

    As for the lying on top of me thing, I didnít quite understand that either. She wasnít all that to look at so I didnít ask for more details.
  • JamboWayOh 17 May 2019 18:00:59 14,771 posts
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    Is this titwank soapy per chance?
  • sport 17 May 2019 18:08:16 15,192 posts
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    I'd insist on rubbing alcohol instead. For hygiene purposes.
  • JamboWayOh 17 May 2019 18:09:03 14,771 posts
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    sport wrote:
    I'd insist on rubbing alcohol instead. For hygiene purposes.
    Everyone's got a kink it seems.
  • thelzdking 17 May 2019 20:14:50 9,524 posts
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    How much does it cost for them to apply mustard to your anus?
  • JamboWayOh 17 May 2019 20:48:21 14,771 posts
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    thelzdking wrote:
    How much does it cost for them to apply mustard to your anus?
    I've been dabbling in wasabi.
  • Youthist 17 May 2019 23:27:48 13,861 posts
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    This Adam chap has come out all guns blazing hasnít he?
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