Random Musings Page 1379

  • SolidSCB 3 Oct 2019 10:37:20 11,576 posts
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    It's been a very spidery/waspy summer everywhere by the sounds of it. I got bit by a fucking horsefly in my own garden a few weeks ago and I've never felt so violated.

    Joke is on that little cunt though because they don't make antiretrovirals for insects.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 3 Oct 2019 10:40:18 21,090 posts
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    Apparently an increase in the global temperature is going to lead to a massive increase in spider populations. So at least we have that to look forward to.
  • Dougs 3 Oct 2019 10:41:32 90,576 posts
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    I had loads of fruit flies buzzing round the food waste bin last week. Didn't matter how much I cleaned it out or changed the bag, back they came. Gone now though.
  • Dougs 3 Oct 2019 10:42:00 90,576 posts
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    Decks wrote:
    Apparently an increase in the global temperature is going to lead to a massive increase in spider populations. So at least we have that to look forward to.
    Conkers. Swear by them
  • SolidSCB 3 Oct 2019 10:48:16 11,576 posts
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    My garden fence is one of the most unsettling locations on earth. When I cut the grass and bump into it with the lawnmower, it literally looks as if it is physically moving with the amount of spiders that emerge from the seam between the grass and the fence and run up it.

    I've taken the decision to form an uneasy truce and let them have that territory so they stay away from the house.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 3 Oct 2019 10:48:53 21,090 posts
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    Thought they were illegal now?
  • mrpon 3 Oct 2019 10:51:41 35,465 posts
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    No, garden fences are still legal atm.
  • SolidSCB 3 Oct 2019 10:55:46 11,576 posts
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    One day when the spiders have finally invaded and cocooned us in the attic, David Hasselhoff will sing on top of it as it's torn down.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 3 Oct 2019 16:03:27 21,090 posts
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    So the fruit flies have been fucking. Its more fly than kitchen in there now. Apparently putting left over red wine in a jar works as a trap so I've put that in there and closed the door. Pretty sure I heard a drunken cheer a moment ago and the sound of more fly fucking.
  • monkman76 3 Oct 2019 16:08:49 15,117 posts
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    Have you cleaned the cups of beans?
  • askew 3 Oct 2019 16:15:42 19,962 posts
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    Get rid of your conkers and the spiders will feast.
  • Fake_Blood 3 Oct 2019 16:24:11 9,730 posts
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    A jar by itself wonít work, you need to make sort of a one-way trap by making a cone out of a sheet of paper with a small hole at the bottom. Iíve never tried it with wine, I tried it with beer and it worked like magic.
  • Fake_Blood 3 Oct 2019 16:27:43 9,730 posts
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    Like this:
    https://www.thebugsquad.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Fruit-Fly-Traps.jpg
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 3 Oct 2019 16:29:36 21,090 posts
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    Yeah I've stuck some foil over it and poked some holes in it. There's one of the cunts in there now drowning. Just 400 more to go.
  • Fake_Blood 3 Oct 2019 16:35:56 9,730 posts
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    The others are preparing an elaborate rescue mission. Itís the one thatís still flying around after a day or two that you have to watch out for, heís probably smarter than the others and may be plotting some kind of revenge.
  • Addy__ 3 Oct 2019 16:47:06 1,609 posts
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    I thought the conkers thing was a waste of time at my old house. Fucking monsters just climbed over them.
  • Addy__ 3 Oct 2019 17:58:22 1,609 posts
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    Talking of nuts. My work colleague turned up today in a foul mood. Seems someone daubed a big cock and balls on his white front door, in pink lol.

    Daubed is probably a bad description. It was some nice pen work.

    Edited by Addy__ at 17:59:36 03-10-2019
  • wuntyphyve 3 Oct 2019 18:35:20 12,798 posts
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    Addy__ wrote:
    Talking of nuts. My work colleague turned up today in a foul mood. Seems someone daubed a big cock and balls on his white front door, in pink lol.

    Daubed is probably a bad description. It was some nice penis work.
  • minky-kong 4 Oct 2019 09:29:46 14,398 posts
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    He's basically living in an obscene publication.
  • Frogofdoom 4 Oct 2019 11:11:30 14,244 posts
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    Who knew that muttler was Danny T0mmo. Makes it even weirder that the book offended him so much

    https://twitter.com/RealDannyTommo/status/1180010394229837824?s=19
  • Dougs 4 Oct 2019 11:18:45 90,576 posts
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    He can't even be consistent between the tweet and the video. Pure bullshit
  • challenge_hanukkah 4 Oct 2019 11:22:31 11,290 posts
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    Remember when his mate Waxy-Lemon was 'assaulted' by 'antifa' outside McDonald's?
  • wuntyphyve 4 Oct 2019 11:30:36 12,798 posts
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    A spider the size of a cat just fell off the ceiling and landed in the bin beside me with an almighty whump. Obviously too fat to stick on the ceiling. I'm not going near the bin for a bit. It can have it all.

    Edited by wuntyphyve at 11:31:11 04-10-2019
  • Frogofdoom 4 Oct 2019 11:42:25 14,244 posts
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    Burn the bin?
  • SolidSCB 4 Oct 2019 11:48:50 11,576 posts
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    Get the kettle boiled. Its 50/50 the spider survives, fuses the the rubbish from the heat and becomes a mutated trash hybrid and brutally mutilates you. But it's the best chance you have.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 4 Oct 2019 11:51:27 21,090 posts
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    Where do you live I'll come pick the fat fuck up. He'll be the size of a small cow after he's finished in my kitchen.
  • wuntyphyve 4 Oct 2019 12:57:15 12,798 posts
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    I'm in work, the bin contains mostly paper and other stuff to be recycled. He's going to be recycled, and it serves him right. Leggy prick.

    Edited by wuntyphyve at 12:57:25 04-10-2019
  • Graxlar_v3 4 Oct 2019 13:02:55 7,936 posts
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    wuntyphyve wrote:
    I'm in work, the bin contains mostly paper and other stuff to be recycled. He's going to be recycled, and it serves him right. Leggy prick.
    Unless he eats his way out of the bin. He can then hide his time, building up his strength before catching you unawares and falling on your head next time.
  • JamboWayOh 4 Oct 2019 13:08:39 15,074 posts
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    Spiders can get to fuck. Deport them to all an island is what I say then they can have their own caliphate.
  • askew 4 Oct 2019 13:23:55 19,962 posts
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    There was one badass spider climbing its silk outside the window this morning. It appeared to have lost its first two legs on one side of its body, but was still hauling itself up Ė like a climber using a jumar device.
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