Following Random Musings Page 1709

  • wuntyate 3 May 2021 16:43:28 17,031 posts
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    I think I would rather just go into the pool naked than wear anything from lost property. Least then I know I haven't got anyone else's pubic after party embracing my balls.
  • wuntyate 3 May 2021 16:44:02 17,031 posts
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    It would have to be a new page post wouldn't it. Sigh.
  • lordofthedunce 3 May 2021 16:48:01 744 posts
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    "oh damn, I left my trunks at home"
    "Sir, would you care to borrow a pair from lost property?"
    "Pah! I have my principles." /unzips
  • Vortex808 3 May 2021 16:55:41 15,143 posts
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    I once, and NEVER, EVER again will, had to wear the 'shorts of shame' at the gym. Went there with everything except my shorts.

    It was either that or go all the way back home adding on loads of time. They had cleaned them and would launder them again after my use (so they said!!), but they were a scabby pair someone had ditched/forgotten.

    I did not end up with scabies, so took that as a win, but I always double check the kit bag before leaving the house now!
  • Your-Mother 3 May 2021 16:56:25 7,393 posts
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  • freddymercurystwin 3 May 2021 17:29:34 2,601 posts
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    Well for clarity I say trunks I'm not sure what the technical term is, board shorts I guess, seeing as chlorine kills everything my principals had to take a back seat, it was that or hoik out a couple of pissed off kids 5 minutes into their swimming session. Sometimes you gotta just step up and take a bullet, manly achievements aren't all about putting up shelves and smoking meat you know! ;)

    Edited by freddymercurystwin at 17:30:24 03-05-2021
  • Load_2.0 3 May 2021 17:35:12 33,075 posts
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    freddymercurystwin wrote:
    smoking meat
    Username checks out.
  • wuntyate 3 May 2021 18:31:14 17,031 posts
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    @freddymercurystwin Did you return the shorts to lost property after use? Also, did you fart and do a bit of wee in them first?

    If answers to both questions is yes, you've earned extra credit by returning them in the exact same condition you picked them up in.
  • freddymercurystwin 3 May 2021 18:48:17 2,601 posts
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    @wuntyate the borrowed trunks were far too tight for any of the kind of exertions required for farting or weeing, even gentle pootling about had me nervous, having had one close shave already and a very nervous look down at my nether regions to see if the little soldier was on parade there was no way I was gonna chance it happening again, I waited till we were the last ones in the session to exit the pool in case they split when I lifted myself out.
  • mrpon 3 May 2021 20:37:15 37,176 posts
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    TIL, professional slap fighting is a thing. And it's hilarious.
  • JamboWayOh 3 May 2021 21:14:48 23,838 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    TIL, professional slap fighting is a thing. And it's hilarious.
    Ha, yeah I've seen that shit on YouTube, it's ridiculous
  • Nexus_6 4 May 2021 07:27:28 6,021 posts
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    Was diagnosed, in person and then over the phone mid-pandemic last year with a chronic pain condition in my face. Managed to control it all this time with the advice given and actually had a pretty good year more or less pain free.
    These last couple days though have hit hard and I’ve been awake for about 3 hours with a crippling pain. No way to concentrate on work or anything else.
    If I could, I would have my skull taken out to stop this.
  • Trafford 4 May 2021 09:48:52 9,211 posts
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    I've been struggling with sciatica recently but Skull/ Face Ache sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathies.
  • Killerbee 4 May 2021 10:00:42 5,144 posts
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    I can empathise with the loaned swimming trunks.

    We were on holiday in France and my kids were desperate to go swimming. We’d had a week of pissing rain so the beach was out.

    Duly turned up at the local public swimming pool complete with proper British swimming shorts as you do. I had no idea the French seem to have some weird rule that you have to wear speedos if you want to swim in public baths.

    I basically got ordered out of the pool, no idea what’s going on and told my attire was “interdit”. Since my French is limited to what I can remember from a GCSE in the mid 1990s, this was a surprisingly tricky conversation.

    Having little other choice, I reluctantly accepted the lost property trunks which I swear they keep just for the stupid English folk who turn up and are ignorant of the rules.

    I still have no idea why they don’t allow swimming shorts.
  • Rum_Monkey 4 May 2021 10:04:34 2,711 posts
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    They do allow swimming shorts, they just like to make the Brits look like scabby speedo paedos.
  • mrpon 4 May 2021 10:04:57 37,176 posts
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    Yeah had similar, think it's for drowning reasons.
  • LegendaryApe 4 May 2021 10:17:42 2,422 posts
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    Trafford wrote:
    I've been struggling with sciatica recently but Skull/ Face Ache sounds like a nightmare. You have my sympathies.
    Sympathies seconded, to both of you
  • Decks 4 May 2021 10:21:02 29,821 posts
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    I'd rather drown with my head held high than live as a man in peado pants.
  • Vortex808 4 May 2021 10:28:52 15,143 posts
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    Decks wrote:
    I'd rather drown with my head held high than live as a man in peado pants.
    Surely those should be called 'spaedos'.
  • Rum_Monkey 4 May 2021 10:35:44 2,711 posts
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    French Spaedos at that.
  • mrpon 4 May 2021 10:42:59 37,176 posts
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    It was more, just wear something skin tight as opposed to actual banana hammocks.
  • Vortex808 4 May 2021 10:43:09 15,143 posts
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    Rum_Monkey wrote:
    French Spaedos at that.
    OK, let's go with 'les spaedoes' then.

    Apologies to any people coincidentally named les spaedo.

    :D
  • wuntyate 4 May 2021 10:47:23 17,031 posts
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    Better that than Peter File.

    /old IT Crowd gag
  • JamboWayOh 4 May 2021 10:53:44 23,838 posts
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    wuntyate wrote:
    Better that than Peter File.

    /old IT Crowd gag
    I was just going to write that.
  • General_Martok 4 May 2021 10:54:55 2,212 posts
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    The Royal Navy gravity defying "Gravity project":

    https://youtu.be/suHOLFhbwsM

    That so looks like it's a fake C&C video but it's real! O_o

    Edited by General_Martok at 10:57:12 04-05-2021
  • robthehermit 4 May 2021 11:07:31 8,420 posts
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    @General_Martok

    Adam Savage Iron Man build.

  • askew 4 May 2021 11:20:09 23,262 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Yeah had similar, think it's for drowning reasons.
    Speedos keep your pubes contained.
  • Vortex808 4 May 2021 12:11:45 15,143 posts
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    askew wrote:
    mrpon wrote:
    Yeah had similar, think it's for drowning reasons.
    Speedos keep your pubes contained.
    Someone tell Game/cex so they can develop a trade-in pube reduction SOP
  • IRWATWO 4 May 2021 12:22:06 1,169 posts
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    Vortex808 wrote:
    askew wrote:
    mrpon wrote:
    Yeah had similar, think it's for drowning reasons.
    Speedos keep your pubes contained.
    Someone tell Game/cex so they can develop a trade-in pube reduction SOP
    That's where CEX get them from. They sell a lot of games, and pubes don't grow on trees.
  • Salaman 4 May 2021 14:19:01 24,086 posts
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    Killerbee wrote:
    I can empathise with the loaned swimming trunks.

    We were on holiday in France and my kids were desperate to go swimming. We’d had a week of pissing rain so the beach was out.

    Duly turned up at the local public swimming pool complete with proper British swimming shorts as you do. I had no idea the French seem to have some weird rule that you have to wear speedos if you want to swim in public baths.

    I basically got ordered out of the pool, no idea what’s going on and told my attire was “interdit”. Since my French is limited to what I can remember from a GCSE in the mid 1990s, this was a surprisingly tricky conversation.

    Having little other choice, I reluctantly accepted the lost property trunks which I swear they keep just for the stupid English folk who turn up and are ignorant of the rules.

    I still have no idea why they don’t allow swimming shorts.
    They keep the lost property trunks for all stupid foreigners.
    I vaguely remember exiting the changing rooms in a French public pool and being stopped because I was wearing trunks. My daughter was 3 or 4 at the time, so it was a choice between taking their lost property pair or telling her we weren't swimming after all and leaving.

    They've since started to introduce a ban on trunks in more and more Belgian swimming pools as well. The problem seems to be youngsters (of course it's bloody youngster!) who keep their underwear on underneath the trunks which then transforms the pool water into some sort of shitty underwear infusion.

    It's probably them same teenage boys that shower in their underwear after sports training that do it.
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