Vortex808 wrote:I don't actually use that word, i think it's a bit misogynistic. But reading the last few pages of this discussion reminds me of the last co-worker i actually did sleep with. This broad walks in holding an opened can of monster energy drink, and is just sipping away all through the interview. It was the most unprofessional thing i've ever seen, and thought there was no way they'd hire her... but miracle of miracles, they did. I'm not really sure how things started. I think it was when she wanted to tag along to a poker tournament that me and a couple of my friends from work played in regularly. I told her that we were like the Poker Rangers, and each had a colour that we always wore. As soon as she found out i was the green ranger, she changed from wanting to be the blue ranger to being the pink ranger, which was obviously her way of indicating her interest (Tommy and Kimberly being an item until Zeo). Office flirting got ramped up from there, not all based on 90's kids shows, and things progressed. But alas, like Tommy and Kimberly it wasn't meant to be. |
Random Musings • Page 1726
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Rodimus-Prime 498 posts
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dfunked09 2,406 posts
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Registered 1 year agoNo pink for little Roddy?... -
Rodimus-Prime 498 posts
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Registered 8 years agoSeveral times... but as i got to know her i realised that she wasn't Kimberly - she wasn't the pink ranger at all.
No, she was actually Rita Repulsa, a demented space witch whose sole aim was to control literally everything. Well, i can do my own god damn whitt report Megan. I had a formula, a literal excel formula, and it didn't need improving by some beautiful cosmic crone.
Ironically, i'm pretty sure she got given that report when i was fired. There's no way it's as accurate as when i did it. -
Dougs 100,414 posts
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Registered 18 years agoYou need to dial it back a bit Rod, it's now too transparent. -
Rodimus-Prime 498 posts
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Registered 8 years agoThanks for the heads up Dougs, but to be honest i find the self-appointed arbiter of reality schtick a little trite.
Maybe if my office romance included more cocaine and nepotism it wouldn't be so offensive? I don't know, because i've never felt the need to take drugs and my birth father wasn't someone whose steps i'd want to follow.
Tommy Oliver though, now there's a role model. -
dfunked09 2,406 posts
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Registered 1 year agoThere comes a point where you just have to start ignoring the low hanging fruit. -
Dirt3 1,775 posts
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Registered 7 years agoTHFourteen wrote:
I like reading up on the hobbies and then questioning them. It's also good to brush up on my bullshitting ability. If I can hold a half decent conversation with someone on a subject after 5 mins work on wikipedia I am on top of my game.
2 pages is a good rule of thumb, as someone who has to interview, walls of text and long CVs are an extreme put off (but we dont discard the CVs because of this).
Typos also a put off, although we now have to acknowledge that they might be non-english speaking natives and allow for it.
Reduce the amount of space allocated to irrelevant things like old jobs, irrelevant jobs and GCSEs / Alevels and even university education. I can't say i pay much attention to those things for hires who have 3-5+ years work experience.
Oh and tailor your CV to the job you are applying for based on the role description. And be prepared to talk to anything you write on your CV, interviewed someone a few weeks ago who couldnt explain half of her CV because it was "more than 2 years old and i cant remember"
like seriously, fuck off. -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI have eight CVs sat in front of me as I speak that I need to review by lunchtime.
/kills self -
sport 17,064 posts
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Registered 16 years agonickthegun wrote:
Pop them on pastebin and let EG review. Sit back and relax.
I have eight CVs sat in front of me as I speak that I need to review by lunchtime.
/kills self -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
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Registered 16 years agoThat would set off so many DLP alerts, I would get a crack team of ex-ghurkas rappelling through my window to seize my laptop. -
dfunked09 2,406 posts
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Registered 1 year agoAvoid hiring unlucky applicants by randomly selecting half of the CVs and throwing them in the bin.
Only four to review now. -
Rogueywon 12,387 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI'd generally say 2-3 pages for a CV, depending on the post. 2 pages is a good rule of thumb, but for more senior or specialist posts, 3 can be more appropriate.
A lot depends really on the nature of the post. For an entry-level position with applicants straight out of school/university, more detail on academic qualifications and hobbies etc is good. Once somebody has three years experience in actual jobs under their belt, I tend to care much less about where/whether they went to university, provided they have any mandatory qualifications for the post. -
mrpon 37,366 posts
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Registered 15 years agonickthegun wrote:
Is is acronym bingo?
I have eight CVs sat in front of me as I speak that I need to review by lunchtime.
/kills self -
elstoof 28,125 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI’m so good at writing concisely I can tweet my CV -
IRWATWO 1,378 posts
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Registered 2 years agoJust flick through them and then pick one randomly, it's called quick resume. -
Psychotext 70,652 posts
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Registered 15 years agoIRWATWO wrote:
/applauds
Just flick through them and then pick one randomly, it's called quick resume. -
Psychotext 70,652 posts
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Registered 15 years agoEmail advert for a cycling jersey today...
"Featuring recycled body fabric."
Not sure if I want that. =/ -
Rogueywon 12,387 posts
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Registered 16 years agoPsychotext wrote:
I read that as "human skin". It it SpaceMonkey selling?
Email advert for a cycling jersey today...
"Featuring recycled body fabric."
Not sure if I want that. =/ -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
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Registered 16 years agomrpon wrote:
Yes and most of them are basically the same which makes skimming them harder. Some variation of Certified or Certificate In Security [something]
nickthegun wrote:
Is is acronym bingo?
I have eight CVs sat in front of me as I speak that I need to review by lunchtime.
/kills self -
RaymondLuxuryYacht 464 posts
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Registered 6 years agoJohn Bishop always looks really shifty. -
Vortex808 15,593 posts
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Registered 13 years agoHe's a scouser. They're bred that way.
Edited by Vortex808 at 20:14:23 23-07-2021 -
Trafford 9,358 posts
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Registered 14 years agoIt's since he got rid of the Mullet. It was needed to offset the shifty eyes. -
Load_2.0 33,582 posts
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Registered 18 years agoAt least he's not Paddy McGuiness whose career and continual presence on TV is utterly baffling. -
Rum_Monkey 3,488 posts
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Registered 2 years agoNo likey? -
dfunked09 2,406 posts
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Registered 1 year agoMethinks Loadey two point oh needs a time out on Fernando's. -
Dougs 100,414 posts
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Registered 18 years agoLoad_2.0 wrote:
I liked him in phoenix nights, basically playing himself. Presenting stuff is quite baffling, but fair play to him.
At least he's not Paddy McGuiness whose career and continual presence on TV is utterly baffling. -
simpleexplodingmaybe 19,992 posts
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Registered 6 years agoI don’t know how Paddy McGuinness gets anything done after hearing how much it takes to care for his autistic kids -
Mola_Ram 26,187 posts
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Registered 9 years ago"Dear hiring manager, As a Diploma of (something unrelated to job), and also a Bachelor and Master of (something unrelated to job), I was thrilled to see your advertisement for OFFICE COORDINATOR/ADMINISTRATOR"
That's... not the job we advertised for. -
Does anyone remember a video or something of a man, maybe old, doing a rant or something and at the end says 'GET IT!?' or something?
Is this a thing or did I make it up?
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