LeoliansBro wrote:But I AM messaging those who I find funny (this is a must) and people who I think I'd get on with. I'm not just exclusively messaging pretty girls. |
Match.com and Online Dating v2 • Page 8
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RichieTenenbaum 2,774 posts
Seen 11 months ago
Registered 11 years ago -
LeoliansBro wrote:
We may have found the crux of the problem.
If you're after something more meaningful, be yourself from the off -
mrpon 37,366 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoPerhaps, "have you tried spunk, sweetheart?" could work?
No?? I'm terrible at this, I've genuinely never needed to use these services.
Apologies. -
I have never had luck with it, not even a date. I tried a couple of years ago to make a proper effort. But out of maybe 50 messages only 3 responded, 2 of which were with children and didn't seam interesting once exchanged a message, and the third was just plain weird.
I came to the conclusion that the proportion of men to women was out of whack (if a woman receives hundreds of messages what's the chances of yours falling through the gap), and that if you must use online dating their might be other factors. For example why can't you go to parties with friends and generally socialise?
Ian not saying that internet dating is bad or that all the people are weird. Just for me personally it doesn't work, and I have other ways to meet people although always terrible at 'moving things along'.
Edited by Sharzam at 16:58:04 21-10-2013 -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 5 minutes ago
Registered 16 years agoIf going through this miserable process with a few of my mates has taught me anything is that its hard to be a charming motherfucker straight off the bat.
You need to go to a few grab a granny nights at your local and move up from there. You need to get your eye in first, working your way up from the bottom. -
Derblington 35,161 posts
Seen 19 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoRich, the reason they all sound desperate is that they're all very personal and because you're commenting on everything they've posted it's a little bit stalker-y.
Just pull it all back a bit. Be more general and pick one thing that you like about them to comment on and be the ice-breaker. For the teacher, how did she wrangle the trip, for example. The rest of the message should be very carefree. Treat it only as a conversation rather than shooting for a date. The one's that you can just chat to will be the ones that agree to see you. -
It's hard to actually explain why those messages are so offputting. There's just something kind of needy in them. Taking this one in isolation, as it's about the best of a bad bunch:
Hey,
The first paragraph is fine. The second paragraph does the "look at me, I'm self-depreciating" thing but comes off more as "I'm kind of lacking". The PSes are just unnecessary and (despite my previous advice) come off as a "I read your profile and HERE ARE THE THINGS I NOTICED" checklist rather than a casually friendly "Hey, we appear to have this in common."
I am neither a fell-runner (the gradients look way too hard) nor a chocolate maker, but I read your profile and it struck a chord. Totally get what you mean about being happily single but being on here just to meet people. Adventures are a little boring alone.
My name's Simon. I like adventures and being a little bit too enthusiatic about things. Hopefully that makes up for the lack of other stuff.
PS: How the hell do you make Play Doh?
PPS: Your job sounds amazing.
Cut it down to just
I am neither a fell-runner (the gradients look way too hard) nor a chocolate maker, but I read your profile and it struck a chord. Totally get what you mean about being happily single but being on here just to meet people. Adventures are a little boring alone.
and it's not actually all that bad. Still something a little off about it (probably the "totally get what you mean about being happily single" when you appear to have the exact inverse of that feeling), but still. -
minky-kong 14,787 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 13 years agoZomoniac wrote:
It's worked wonders in terms of getting replies, plus it stopped me fretting for ages about what to write in those cases where someone sounds amazing from their profile, and not getting a reply anyway.
kinky_mong wrote:
Interesting. When I was on those sites I wrote every message from scratch, always making sure to reference a few things in their profile, to make it clear that it was all personalised and I'd read everything they'd written. About 25% ever even looked at my profile, and about 30% of those that did responded. Was a bit disheartening. Maybe just C&P "Hi how are you", which is all I ever received as an opener, is the best way to go about it after all.
I've got a far better rate of replies since I stopped writing out new messages from scratch each time and just sent a standard pasted opening sentence and a question from a pool of four that is most relevant to their profile.
Hasn't improved the quality of person though, I'm getting really pissed off with people going completely silent after the first date or two. I even went on a date where the girl mentioned this as annoying her too (before I even mentioned it I hasten to add) but as predicted she just went completely silent after a few follow up texts.
When did this sort of rudeness become acceptable? If they found someone else or just didn't like me they should at least have the courage to tell me! -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 5 minutes ago
Registered 16 years agoIts coming off very much like a covering letter on a CV.
HERE ARE THE PREREQUISITE SKILLS YOU HAVE ASKED FOR AND HERE IS WHY I FIT IN WITH ALL OF THEM. -
minky-kong 14,787 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 13 years agoarials101 wrote:
You'd think four would be too small a pool of questions but it's really not. Music, film, travel, socialising. Literally every profile mentions at least one of those so it's easy to pick a question out around one of those.
I've never actually used a dating site myself, but I'm sure a two sentence approach like this would work better than an 8 step penguin capture plan. Four questions sounds like a narrow pool though.
Also I'm surprised just how many female profiles mention fashion and cats. They are the female equivalent of mentioning football or computer games on your profile and will put off loads of men for the exact same shallow reasons that the above put women off. -
RichDC 9,177 posts
Seen 3 days ago
Registered 17 years agoRichie, here's an experiment which will help tell how good your profile is:
Message a few girls who have nothing written down. Just a couple of photos and the standard box ticks etc.
Hey GIRL,
Ok, its crap and generic, but by putting nothing in their profile, that's what they're expecting. They will then look at your profile where they can decide if they like it. This of course only works if your profile is good and provides a few easy topics for them to ask about.
How are you doing? There not much in you profile but I'd like to get to know you. Take a look at my profile let me know if you think we'd get on.
Hope you're having fun,
Richie
Its not going to guarantee 'love' bit it will help you judge your profile and get dates. -
Zomoniac 10,628 posts
Seen 10 hours ago
Registered 17 years agokinky_mong wrote:
I've seen loads of girls' profiles mention gaming. Seems to be less taboo when they do it. I never mentioned it on mine.
Also I'm surprised just how many female profiles mention fashion and cats. They are the female equivalent of mentioning football or computer games on your profile and will put off loads of men for the exact same shallow reasons that the above put women off. -
Ziz0u 11,006 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 12 years ago -
RichieTenenbaum 2,774 posts
Seen 11 months ago
Registered 11 years agoThanks guys.
I think you've helped me realise that my approximation of human behaviour is pretty poor, and my online identity is weird and not attractive.
I don't think I'm going to bother resubbing as I think it's about time that online things like this are just not in my skillset. Which really was the point of this. Should I bother doing the special offer and resub.
You've saved me £30.
Cheers
I'm off to get tested for autism. -
minky-kong 14,787 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 13 years agoZomoniac wrote:
Any who like something other than Nintendo or Final Fantasy games? Or don't look like bridge trolls?
kinky_mong wrote:
I've seen loads of girls' profiles mention gaming. Seems to be less taboo when they do it. I never mentioned it on mine.
Also I'm surprised just how many female profiles mention fashion and cats. They are the female equivalent of mentioning football or computer games on your profile and will put off loads of men for the exact same shallow reasons that the above put women off.
Actually that's unfair, I did go on a date with a nice, good looking girl who mentioned games on her profile earlier this year. But as usual she gave me the silent treatment after that.
Clearly I am just a cunt in person. -
RichieTenenbaum 2,774 posts
Seen 11 months ago
Registered 11 years agoI love how me and Kinky have exact opposite problems. -
Ziz0u 11,006 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 12 years agoRichieTenenbaum wrote:
You should combine forces:
I love how me and Kinky have exact opposite problems.
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minky-kong 14,787 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 13 years agoNah. -
LegendaryApe 2,498 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 10 years ago -
neilka 24,021 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoLegendaryApe wrote:
U
F -
Load_2.0 33,582 posts
Seen 41 minutes ago
Registered 18 years agoAll your messages suggest murder.
Also.
"aim for the gibbons" is my new favourite phrase. I imagine bellowing at other males it in a Walkabout (if they still exist) at 2am. -
Load_2.0 33,582 posts
Seen 41 minutes ago
Registered 18 years agoThere is no message that will get you a date.
If your profile picture was a Brad Pitt lookalike you could say.
"Hey fat tits fancy a gob full of cock?" and you would get a positive reply.
Basically you need to get better looking or have better pics. -
Jeepers 16,616 posts
Seen 12 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoneilka wrote:
N?
LegendaryApe wrote:
U
F -
Jeepers wrote:
K!
neilka wrote:
N?
LegendaryApe wrote:
U
F
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