Match.com and Online Dating v2 Page 703

  • Vortex808 14 Sep 2018 09:55:15 12,602 posts
    Seen 3 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Bichii wrote:
    Yeah expecting that at 40 you are very limiting your options. Most people at 40 want to chill out and do fun stuff every now and again. You need to date a woman about 15 years younger than you but then you'd moan that she was too annoying and liked modern pop music.
    ^ This

    Are you on the way to a mid-life crisis Ryan? :-D

    Most folk at 40 are ready to settle down having done all that shit repeatedly for years previously. I agree that you are seriously limiting your choices and will end up with some mentalist if you find someone at that age that wants what you're looking for just now.

    I'm also not sure why the vegan non-drinker bit was such an issue, they're probably not likely to foist their lifestyle on you, and certainly not at such an early juncture in a relationship!
  • RyanDS 14 Sep 2018 10:02:59 12,000 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Not on the way to a mid life crisis. Full on enjoying one!

    Quit day job to do contracting - check
    Bought fast motorbike and taken up racing - check (Did the GP circuit at Silverstone a few weeks back, fuck that was fun.)
    Sold house and backpacking the world - check (17 countries last year)
    Getting the tattoos I always wanted - check


    I know my choices are limited, but hey, I am divorced. I know what happens if you aren't with someone you really want to be with.

    And while choices are limited, they still exist. Last year I dated a girl for a year who was into the same as me. Just didn't work out in the end.
  • FanBoysSuck 14 Sep 2018 10:09:02 1,645 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    RyanDS wrote:
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Backpacking? You'll do a hip at your age
    You joke. But that is the genuine impression I get from most dates. No one wants the mosh pit anymore. Everyone is so sensible.

    Trying to find a person with shared interests is nigh on impossible.
    Those girls do exist. I ended up arranging a holiday on my first date with my new girlfriend. I thought it was pie in the sky drunk talk, but no, we ended up going to East Berlin for a crazy weekend of clubbing back in June. We've got another few active holidays planned over the next 6 months. For reference, I'm 33 and she's 36 and neither of us have any plans to slow down anytime soon.

    So don't give up hope! It's just going to take a while to find someone like that.
  • Psiloc 14 Sep 2018 10:22:13 4,767 posts
    Seen 7 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    I'm 31 and all this sounds like hell on earth to me
  • AboutHalfaStevas 14 Sep 2018 10:28:37 934 posts
    Seen 4 hours ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's my previous experiences of this thread, but my brain screams euphemism every time I read "backpacking".
  • quadfather 14 Sep 2018 10:44:52 32,878 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    RyanDS wrote:
    Not on the way to a mid life crisis. Full on enjoying one!

    Quit day job to do contracting - check
    Bought fast motorbike and taken up racing - check (Did the GP circuit at Silverstone a few weeks back, fuck that was fun.)
    Sold house and backpacking the world - check (17 countries last year)
    Getting the tattoos I always wanted - check


    I know my choices are limited, but hey, I am divorced. I know what happens if you aren't with someone you really want to be with.

    And while choices are limited, they still exist. Last year I dated a girl for a year who was into the same as me. Just didn't work out in the end.
    To be honest, I get what you're saying. It's when you encounter something that isn't that common at our age (I'm 46) - i.e., the divorce. It's a massive thing to go through, and people go off on all kinds of directions afterwards.

    I think some of it is getting some of your own time back so you do what you want to do, being 40 odd (like you have done, and so have I), and the other part is the inevitable thing that comes with getting a new relationship at that age with that experience you've already got.

    It's not impossible, and probably not that hard - but it is different than before because of the above.

    I'm in exactly the same boat except I've gone a different way to your backpacking shenanigans. Still the same principle though.

    Just keep doing your thing and hopefully things will fall into place again.
  • fontgeeksogood 14 Sep 2018 10:45:03 2,163 posts
    Seen 17 seconds ago
    Registered 5 months ago
    I still have no idea why the concept of finding someone with shared interests is such a big deal. Lemme tell you, if they like the same shit as you, it gets super awkward when you acrimoniously split up yet still they won't stop going to the climbing wall on the same day as you
  • FanBoysSuck 14 Sep 2018 10:45:32 1,645 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    @Psiloc I find that's pretty common in our age group, lots of people complaining about being old and not up to much active stuff anymore. Personally, I still go to gigs, mosh like a crazy person, go on late nights out on a work night and still manage a day in the office (I literally did this on Wednesday! Yes Thursday was a living hell). Staying in and chilling out is reserved for hangover days and when nothing exciting is happening. My girlfriend has the same mentality.

    I do fully appreciate this isn't the norm!
  • quadfather 14 Sep 2018 10:48:53 32,878 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    I still have no idea why the concept of finding someone with shared interests is such a big deal. Lemme tell you, if they like the same shit as you, it gets super awkward when you acrimoniously split up yet still they won't stop going to the climbing wall on the same day as you
    Yeah, this as well. The last person I went out with was always in the gym, did a lot of things I had no clue about, but that just made it more interesting to be honest. Unfortunately, neither of us hit each others g-spot physically, so there wasn't much to build on, but the fact we had different hobbies just made it have more variety.

    Hm, I should have stuck with that one, thinking about it, but I was going through a particularly difficult bereavement at the time, which kinda put a crimp on things as well.

    Bollocks.
  • quadfather 14 Sep 2018 10:50:29 32,878 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    FanBoysSuck wrote:
    @Psiloc I find that's pretty common in our age group, lots of people complaining about being old and not up to much active stuff anymore. Personally, I still go to gigs, mosh like a crazy person, go on late nights out on a work night and still manage a day in the office (I literally did this on Wednesday! Yes Thursday was a living hell). Staying in and chilling out is reserved for hangover days and when nothing exciting is happening. My girlfriend has the same mentality.

    I do fully appreciate this isn't the norm!
    I'd say that's fairly normal in my book. Nowt wrong with enjoying what you like, no matter what it is. Yeah, hangovers get worse etc and it takes longer to recover, but you're 40-ish. You're not superman.
  • FanBoysSuck 14 Sep 2018 11:12:10 1,645 posts
    Seen 5 hours ago
    Registered 9 years ago
    quadfather wrote:
    FanBoysSuck wrote:
    @Psiloc I find that's pretty common in our age group, lots of people complaining about being old and not up to much active stuff anymore. Personally, I still go to gigs, mosh like a crazy person, go on late nights out on a work night and still manage a day in the office (I literally did this on Wednesday! Yes Thursday was a living hell). Staying in and chilling out is reserved for hangover days and when nothing exciting is happening. My girlfriend has the same mentality.

    I do fully appreciate this isn't the norm!
    I'd say that's fairly normal in my book. Nowt wrong with enjoying what you like, no matter what it is. Yeah, hangovers get worse etc and it takes longer to recover, but you're 40-ish. You're not superman.
    The hangovers getting worse is definitely something I've noticed. When I first went single out of a long-term relationship about 3 years back, I went nuts with the gigs and decided to do 7 in 8 days. I wanted to die by gig number 5 :D

    I'm being slightly more sensible now, I've got 4 gigs in 5 days coming up but 2 are weekends and I've booked a day off in between!

    On your other point about shared interests. I very much agree. All my previous girlfriends have essentially been female version of me. Super geeky, into metal ect. My new girlfriend has lots of different interests to me (although there is still crossover). I've honestly had a huge amount of fun trying new things and I think it's healthy that we still do the things the other doesn't enjoy on our own. Doing everything together results in burning out the relationship quickly.
  • Dougs 14 Sep 2018 11:15:19 86,475 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Paula Abdul wasn't completely wrong you know!
  • fontgeeksogood 14 Sep 2018 11:25:31 2,163 posts
    Seen 17 seconds ago
    Registered 5 months ago
    That said, the very best sex is with someone who is 100% like you. Yes that's a wanking joke and I'm not entirely sure if I mean it or not
  • quadfather 14 Sep 2018 11:27:21 32,878 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    I think we've achieved a few milestones here chaps
  • Load_2.0 14 Sep 2018 11:30:54 27,681 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    That said, the very best sex is with someone who is 100% like you
    Like a twin or a Father?
  • fontgeeksogood 14 Sep 2018 11:31:56 2,163 posts
    Seen 17 seconds ago
    Registered 5 months ago
    Load, for the last time, I'm not gonna fuck your dad again
  • monkman76 14 Sep 2018 11:32:15 13,390 posts
    Seen 16 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Load_2.0 wrote:
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    That said, the very best sex is with someone who is 100% like you
    Like a twin or a Father?
    I don't know how it works in NZ, but over here you're only 50% your dad.
  • RyanDS 14 Sep 2018 11:34:16 12,000 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    quadfather wrote:
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    I still have no idea why the concept of finding someone with shared interests is such a big deal. Lemme tell you, if they like the same shit as you, it gets super awkward when you acrimoniously split up yet still they won't stop going to the climbing wall on the same day as you
    Yeah, this as well. The last person I went out with was always in the gym, did a lot of things I had no clue about, but that just made it more interesting to be honest. Unfortunately, neither of us hit each others g-spot physically, so there wasn't much to build on, but the fact we had different hobbies just made it have more variety.

    Hm, I should have stuck with that one, thinking about it, but I was going through a particularly difficult bereavement at the time, which kinda put a crimp on things as well.

    Bollocks.
    Well there is a difference between hobbies and stuff that is fundamental to lifestyle.

    I don't care if she doesn't like motorbikes etc. But some stuff I do see as deal breakers, like with travelling. I want someone who will travel with me, someone who will only stay in 5 star resorts for 2 weeks on the beach means I will never get to share my biggest passion with, and I would hate that.

    To be honest I think the only two things that are 100% killers for me are:

    Not wanting to travel.
    Overly religious. (As in expecting conversions, or wanting me to go to church etc. I've dated Christians and Muslims before and had no issues, but they knew that there was no fucking way I would ever respect their religion or pretend to like it. )

    Everything else is negotiable.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 14 Sep 2018 11:35:24 15,834 posts
    Seen 10 minutes ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    monkman76 wrote:
    Load_2.0 wrote:
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    That said, the very best sex is with someone who is 100% like you
    Like a twin or a Father?
    I don't know how it works in NZ, but over here you're only 50% your dad.
    So you're suggesting a threesome with mother?
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 14 Sep 2018 11:35:24 15,834 posts
    Seen 10 minutes ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    monkman76 wrote:
    Load_2.0 wrote:
    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    That said, the very best sex is with someone who is 100% like you
    Like a twin or a Father?
    I don't know how it works in NZ, but over here you're only 50% your dad.
    So you're suggesting a threesome with mother?
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 14 Sep 2018 11:35:53 15,834 posts
    Seen 10 minutes ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    SO YOU'RE SUGGESTING A THREESOME WITH MOTHER
  • challenge_hanukkah 14 Sep 2018 11:36:16 7,683 posts
    Seen 5 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    The secret unaired episode of The Archers
  • Salaman 14 Sep 2018 11:40:51 23,219 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    @AaronTurner

    AaronTurner wrote:
    Weird. My post doesn't show up.
    There's an arrow after ETC in the post you quoted, which gobbles up any content after it.
    If you edit out that greater than sign in the arrow it should pop up.
  • monkman76 14 Sep 2018 11:42:04 13,390 posts
    Seen 16 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Decks wrote:
    SO YOU'RE SUGGESTING A THREESOME WITH MOTHER
    I THINK SO
  • Psiloc 14 Sep 2018 12:56:54 4,767 posts
    Seen 7 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Again I'm only 31 and wheb I do find myself in a club or at a gig I already feel like the weird old bloke who shouldn't be there
  • Psiloc 14 Sep 2018 12:59:54 4,767 posts
    Seen 7 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    There's no judgement attached to that by the way. But still doing it at 40 is unimaginable to me. I look back on my 20s and honestly wonder whether I really enjoyed it all then
  • Dougs 14 Sep 2018 13:01:23 86,475 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    I don't think I've been to an actual club since my 20s. Late bars with a dance floor and stuff, but not an actual nightclub. I am somewhat relieved.
  • challenge_hanukkah 14 Sep 2018 13:02:18 7,683 posts
    Seen 5 minutes ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    That'll worsen to the point that you won't go out at all. A few years after that you'll stop caring.

    Have a good day!
  • SnackPlissken 14 Sep 2018 13:05:22 325 posts
    Seen 58 minutes ago
    Registered 7 months ago
    @Psiloc Do you dress in beige? You need to ask yourself why you care so much about what other people think. You'll be much more happy when you don't give a shit.
  • Psiloc 14 Sep 2018 13:08:45 4,767 posts
    Seen 7 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    What?
Log in or register to reply

Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.