Following Match.com and Online Dating v2 Page 731

  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:18:25 35,628 posts
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    See what I mean? Every day you'd be judged. Fucking ridiculous.
  • monkman76 14 Feb 2020 11:21:04 15,711 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    And here's a perfect example of a bio that I wouldn't touch with a barge pole -

    Ok photos added, still not sure about this as yet. But here goes, Iím a fun loving gal whoís looking for someone whoís not controlling or has insecurities, I need someone in my life who can make me smile and for me to breath. someone who knows what they want out of life, Iím a very fussy person when it comes to men, Iím not getting any younger so you have to be right. If we match then please come say hello donít just sit there waiting for me to say hello as itíll never happen.
    Just reply:

    *breathe*
  • Bichii 14 Feb 2020 11:22:09 2,377 posts
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    Yeah it seems as people get older they have a narrower and narrower field of view when it comes to a partner.
  • Dougs 14 Feb 2020 11:24:39 92,086 posts
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    One of my wife's friends has narrowed her field so much (has to be religious and able to be celibate until marriage) that any bloke she's hooked up with in the last 20 years has been a broken, damaged mess or just out of a marriage. Or both.
  • JamboWayOh 14 Feb 2020 11:25:15 17,133 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    And here's a perfect example of a bio that I wouldn't touch with a barge pole -

    Ok photos added, still not sure about this as yet. But here goes, Iím a fun loving gal whoís looking for someone whoís not controlling or has insecurities, I need someone in my life who can make me smile and for me to breath. someone who knows what they want out of life, Iím a very fussy person when it comes to men, Iím not getting any younger so you have to be right. If we match then please come say hello donít just sit there waiting for me to say hello as itíll never happen.
    I imagine she must be fighting them off with a shitty stick with those kind of demands. Joking aside knowing what you want is great but life isn't really like that where you meet a template of a person that you want. I mean 'no insecurities', what the fuck?! Yeah good luck with that tall order.
  • sport 14 Feb 2020 11:27:43 15,563 posts
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    What is wrong with you people, didn't you see the "FUN LOVING" part?!?!
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:28:15 35,628 posts
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    I feel sorry for her because if she doesn't start being realistic, she's gonna have 8 cats in 3...2...1...

    What I should do is simply delete tinder and just go out to the things I like, like gigs or whatever and just meet similar minded people. I've tried online dating for some time, and it just doesn't work for me. Kudos to those that it does work for though.
  • JamboWayOh 14 Feb 2020 11:30:53 17,133 posts
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    sport wrote:
    What is wrong with you people, didn't you see the "FUN LOVING" part?!?!
    I TOTALLY LOVE FUN BUT YOU MUST BE ALL THESE THINGS SO WE CAN HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN!!!!!
  • Bichii 14 Feb 2020 11:31:35 2,377 posts
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    Yeah the insecurities one is weird and I see no baggage or issues required. who doesn't have issues, especially as we getting older. Pretty much everyone has some hang ups after being married or in various failed relationships.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:34:10 35,628 posts
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    Which is why I avoid those types of profiles. You can practically smell the toxicity.
  • JamboWayOh 14 Feb 2020 11:34:15 17,133 posts
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    Having insecurities is pretty much a part of human nature. Her mention of getting older and looking for Mr Right is in itself an insecurity. Ridiculous.
  • RawShark 14 Feb 2020 11:35:00 1,068 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    I was chatting to a woman on tinder yesterday. No bio on her part so I just asked her what 3 random things she likes.

    Travelling.
    Walking.
    Camping.

    So I followed up with my 3 which is making music, gigs, fun times.

    Followed up by "well, I guess that's that then"

    There's hardly any effort online. Everyone is just too materialistic and/or have the most unrealistic expectations.

    To be honest if she was going to cut you off just for that itís probably because she didnít think there was any connection to start with.

    Iíve been online dating on and off from the early days of Match, so feel like a bit of a grizzled veteran. And as Metal Gear Solid 4 Old Snake would say, Dating has Changed.

    I think girls get jaded quite fast on the apps now simply because they have to wade through a torrent of dick pics and fuckboys before they meet anyone genuine. Unfortunately apps have become a shorthand way for dickheads to behave abusively and it kind of ruins it for everyone.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:46:13 35,628 posts
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    @RawShark

    Yeah, that's fine - I'd prefer to be cut off in this situation. We both now know it wouldn't work, so we've both moved on. Sorted.

    As for the rest, yes I agree. The more time you spend on dating sites, the more narrower your view becomes. I hate it, if I'm honest - it completely dehumanisers people. I don't even class it as real half the time.

    You can sometimes get lucky and meet nice people - I've had some really good dates that were fun. We both spoke about it not being workable once we'd met and talked for a bit, and then just had a laugh all day and went our separate ways.

    See if rather just do that normally, instead of this hoop jumping to line it all up in the first place. I can't see the point.
  • wuntyate 14 Feb 2020 11:52:07 13,790 posts
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    Bichii wrote:
    Yeah it seems as people get older they have a narrower and narrower field of view when it comes to a partner.
    Yeah. Absolutely. The wife was speaking to the single teacher lady across the road who she is pally with sometimes and at one point the conversation swung around to what she was looking for in a partner. The mrs came home and told me what she said. Her criteria was so fucking specfiic that there is no chance she will find the person she is looking for. Why do people do that? How can they not know it doesn't work that way?
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:55:57 35,628 posts
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    No idea. I think they get hung up on a list of things that would make the "ideal" partner as if it's a fucking shopping list. And if you can't make the list then they're not interested.

    It's really cutting your nose, ears and eyes off to spite yourself.

    I think the convenience of things in this day and age have simply made us very lazy and not willing to put any effort it to make things work. I don't understand why people don't realise that everyone has flaws. It's accepting those flaws because you want to be with that person that people don't seem to want to do anymore.

    50% divorce rate etc
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 11:57:01 35,628 posts
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    Anyway, I've just deleted my tinder account and bought some tickets for a gig next Friday. Fuck it, I'm going to get out of my face and enjoy some music :)
  • RawShark 14 Feb 2020 12:05:34 1,068 posts
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    The method that ended up working for me is to spend a few days at least just chatting before you broach the topic of meeting. If you get on from the word go then thereís at least a chance youíll get on in real life. If itís like getting water from a stone then itís just a waste of time - no matter how fit they are.

    (Rawsharkís theorem: The relative fitness level of a girl is directly proportional to the level of mental gymnastics a guy is capable of in thinking he can make it work).

    Itís a fine balance of getting to know a girl first without becoming a pen pal. No one wants a pen pal.

    Edit: And I canít stress this enough. Just match and chat with one person at a time! Trying to maintain three or four conversations or date multiple women at once is setting yourself up to fail. Your attention gets divided and you wonít be at your best.

    Edited by RawShark at 12:08:10 14-02-2020
  • sport 14 Feb 2020 12:08:45 15,563 posts
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    I've met all my girlfriends online. Usually had the most success as Lvl 40 Paladin.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 12:09:04 35,628 posts
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    Yeah, but I find it easier to do all that in person. Far bloody easier. Especially if you're in a particular environment that you both like for example.
  • retro74 14 Feb 2020 14:14:15 2,982 posts
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    Christ if I was single my 'specific requirements' would be

    Human
    Female
    Still breathing

    I'd surely match with loads of people?
  • wuntyate 14 Feb 2020 14:18:26 13,790 posts
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    retro74 wrote:
    I'd surely match with loads of people?
    Until they find out about your weird non hot drink thing.
  • JamboWayOh 14 Feb 2020 14:27:01 17,133 posts
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    wuntyate wrote:
    retro74 wrote:
    I'd surely match with loads of people?
    Until they find out about your weird non hot drink thing.
    And your watching of people through your curtains.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 14:36:23 14-02-2020
  • retro74 14 Feb 2020 14:31:50 2,982 posts
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    @wuntyate I'm sure that's not weird, I bet there a few people like me on here even
  • JamboWayOh 14 Feb 2020 14:36:48 17,133 posts
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    retro74 wrote:
    @wuntyate I'm sure that's not weird, I bet there a few people like me on here even
    I don't like coffee and I rarely drink hot drinks.
  • wuntyate 14 Feb 2020 14:40:17 13,790 posts
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    Everytime another layer is peeled back from the seemingly respectible veneer of the forum it gets more disturbing. Some kind of non-hot drink sub-culture going on. I bet you people look like everyone else as well.

    Creepy. Just... creepy.
  • wuntyate 14 Feb 2020 14:42:28 13,790 posts
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    Anyway. I apologise in advance for derailing into hot drink territory. There are enough threads for that.

    Quad. Coming off tinder and just going out sounds the best idea. I've never used it myself but it sounds horrendous with everyone's incredibly specific requirements for a partner.

    A few years down the line I bet we'll be able to design our own artificial human partner and select personality options from a list.
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 14:44:41 35,628 posts
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    Yeah I've already deleted it. Given it enough time.

    And this gig I'm seeing next week should be good - it's Cory Wong from Vulfpeck doing a UK tour. Clearly, they'll be ladies galore.
  • Zomoniac 14 Feb 2020 14:50:18 10,105 posts
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    In my youth I went out with a string of people I considered 'my type'. Every one was a disaster. My last two relationships, including my current one of six years, have been with people who tick zero of my boxes (except bonus optional box 'be hot'). Extroverted, not horribly damaged, not gamers, goths or metalheads, basically nothing I was looking for. Both were exactly what I needed but didn't realise.

    Basically, whatever you really think you want in a partner, you probably don't.

    /insert dinosaur joke here
  • quadfather 14 Feb 2020 14:56:14 35,628 posts
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    Yeah agree with that.

    Also, the irony here is that I'm quite happy on my own at the moment. I don't get that much spare time as it is because I'm doing all the things I want to do so fuck knows how I'd fit someone else in :)
  • sport 14 Feb 2020 15:05:57 15,563 posts
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    Walking girl isn't looking so bad now is she, quaddy?
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