Match.com and Online Dating v2 Page 734

  • JamboWayOh 30 Jul 2020 20:10:16 20,755 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    retro74 wrote:
    I'd like to hear some more dating tales too, this thread was pure gold at one point

    People must have been out dating in Corona Land surely?
    Met someone recently in this time of Covid. Taking it slow, but fuck, I think I'm feeling these weird things called emotions.
    Ooo get you
    Ha. Cunt.
  • JamboWayOh 30 Jul 2020 20:10:44 20,755 posts
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    Jono62 wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Is she forrin though?
    Yes, American. I'm sorry guys.
    Does she believe in #pizzagate
    No, sir, no she does not.
  • quadfather 30 Jul 2020 20:55:33 36,920 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    quadfather wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    retro74 wrote:
    I'd like to hear some more dating tales too, this thread was pure gold at one point

    People must have been out dating in Corona Land surely?
    Met someone recently in this time of Covid. Taking it slow, but fuck, I think I'm feeling these weird things called emotions.
    Ooo get you
    Ha. Cunt.
    Charmed, I'm sure
  • JamboWayOh 30 Jul 2020 21:05:22 20,755 posts
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    Very charmed indeed. Don't worry I'm pretty sure I'm due to mess it up any day now.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 21:05:47 30-07-2020
  • challenge_hanukkah 30 Jul 2020 21:06:28 13,057 posts
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    Don't shit on her tits unless she asks you to.
  • JamboWayOh 30 Jul 2020 21:09:28 20,755 posts
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    /takes down notes
  • puddleduck 30 Jul 2020 23:37:56 1,917 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Don't shit on her tits unless she asks you to.
    What should he do if she does ask him to, but his diet has been short on fibre for a few days? Your advice is sound but there's still so many ways it could play out.
  • challenge_hanukkah 31 Jul 2020 06:49:15 13,057 posts
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    If she's the one for Jambo she'll be more than happy to wait for him to bulk up his turds with shredded wheat 3 times a day for a week.

    If she respects him she'll respect his bowel offerings.
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 16:47:30 20,755 posts
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    It's alright guys, life hit me right on schedule. We just talked and she's ended it because she's just not mentally ready for a relationship. YEAH!!!!
  • dominalien 3 Aug 2020 16:51:57 9,819 posts
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    So she just wanted mindless sex?
  • challenge_hanukkah 3 Aug 2020 16:53:55 13,057 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    It's alright guys, life hit me right on schedule. We just talked and she's ended it because she's just not mentally ready for a relationship. YEAH!!!!
    :(
  • JoeBlade 3 Aug 2020 16:56:11 5,246 posts
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    Damned guys, I come to this thread to be cheered up! Though I can feel better about being single for all of eternity now I guess.
  • Lukus 3 Aug 2020 17:15:44 23,582 posts
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    A more positive spin - she's still up for a physical one.
  • Dirt3 3 Aug 2020 17:25:48 1,147 posts
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    puddleduck wrote:
    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Don't shit on her tits unless she asks you to.
    What should he do if she does ask him to, but his diet has been short on fibre for a few days? Your advice is sound but there's still so many ways it could play out.
    Being very innocent on this sort of stuff I'd be more worried about the consistency of what I was expected to serve up.
  • Kay 3 Aug 2020 17:37:06 20,734 posts
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    puddleduck wrote:
    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Don't shit on her tits unless she asks you to.
    What should he do if she does ask him to, but his diet has been short on fibre for a few days? Your advice is sound but there's still so many ways it could play out.
    There is, rather amazingly, a mainstream Hollywood film with some top actors that plays out this exact scenario.
  • JoeBlade 3 Aug 2020 17:38:25 5,246 posts
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    @Kay Hah, that cheered me up! :D
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 17:47:42 20,755 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    It's alright guys, life hit me right on schedule. We just talked and she's ended it because she's just not mentally ready for a relationship. YEAH!!!!
    :(
    Ahhh, it's okay I've been through this situation before. I've processed it and feel okay about it all, strangely. Maybe I'm growing up.
  • LegendaryApe 3 Aug 2020 17:50:04 2,109 posts
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    @JamboWayOh

    That's a balls Jambo, sorry about that. You know what they say though - when God closes a window, he opens some other woman's legs.
  • fontgeeksogood 3 Aug 2020 17:53:10 10,631 posts
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    User legendaryape raises a good point. If she thinks - or knows - you're giving someone else some deep dickin' she will probably change her mind. Bonus points if it is her sister.

    Then play the long game and jilt her at the altar to get even
  • JoeBlade 3 Aug 2020 17:54:43 5,246 posts
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    @fontgeeksogood Yes yes, that's all well and good but should he shit on her tits and, if so, what should the consistency of his stool be?
  • fontgeeksogood 3 Aug 2020 17:56:11 10,631 posts
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    No. Space docking. Tit shitting is 'girlfriend' territory
  • JoeBlade 3 Aug 2020 17:57:04 5,246 posts
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    /takes down notes
  • Trafford 3 Aug 2020 17:59:43 8,674 posts
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    Sorry to hear that Jambo, did you meat her online or in real life?
    If it's the latter that has to be a plus shirley?
  • TechnoHippy 3 Aug 2020 18:00:23 17,740 posts
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    Where was all this sage advice when I was growing up?
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 18:10:26 20,755 posts
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    Trafford wrote:
    Sorry to hear that Jambo, did you meat her online or in real life?
    If it's the latter that has to be a plus shirley?
    In real, actual life which is almost unheard of. But thanks for the support fellas. I'm looking forward to letting you know about the next potential relationship to end before it begins. I think I might buy Ghost of Tsushima to recover.
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 18:19:14 20,755 posts
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    Also, why is it a plus if I met her in real life?
  • Trafford 3 Aug 2020 18:24:38 8,674 posts
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    You attracted her in real life?
    Online can be a lottery of 10 year old pics and bullshit.

    Edited by Trafford at 18:25:35 03-08-2020
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 18:30:55 20,755 posts
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    Oh, well I guess. I suppose that's something.
  • Trafford 3 Aug 2020 18:35:09 8,674 posts
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    Yeah and there's always new software and cry wanking.
  • JamboWayOh 3 Aug 2020 18:38:31 20,755 posts
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    That is true. For an added bonus she's coming out for a group drinks tonight, so that...should be interesting.
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