Following That sachet in packets of Beef Jerky... Page 3

  • DaM 3 Sep 2013 13:18:53 17,162 posts
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    simiankid wrote:
    Thread of the year!

    Caligari - if it's any consolation, I used to be mocked endlessly in primary school for eating the core and pips when I had an apple. The only reason I don't do it any more is the accretion of BURNING CHILDHOOD SHAME.
    I've always done this, nothing wrong with it! The pips taste of almonds due to their cyanide content! You can save the stalk for last, and chew on it.

    Caligari had better stay out the sun, or he might turn into glass...that's if his organs haven't dessicated yet.
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 3 Sep 2013 13:29:52 47,493 posts
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    I've just realised caligari hasn't posted since last night.

    Are you OK caligari? Please let us know!
  • S.J.Rogers 3 Sep 2013 13:33:14 3,593 posts
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    A special kind of Idiot..!
  • mrpon 3 Sep 2013 13:42:25 34,643 posts
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    Perhaps he thought it said: DONUT EAT
  • mal 3 Sep 2013 13:48:07 29,326 posts
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    Cappy wrote:
    The oxygen absorber was most likely composed of iron powder, sodium and activated carbon (charcoal)
    Mmm, tasty tasty sodium :)
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 3 Sep 2013 13:52:00 47,493 posts
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    Next experiment - what do strips of magnesium taste of?
  • robthehermit 3 Sep 2013 13:57:31 6,750 posts
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    What does the colour blue taste like?
  • neilka 3 Sep 2013 14:00:51 21,836 posts
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    Surely a person doesn't really *need* a spleen?
  • Deleted user 3 September 2013 14:11:50
    I like delicious jerky. I've never had the stuff that needs a small bag of silica gel in it though...not sure I'd want to.

    This guys makes some bloody lovely stuff:

    http://www.billyfranks.co.uk/shop/

    No tasty death gel labelled 'do not eat' though. Sorry.
  • Load_2.0 3 Sep 2013 14:16:43 27,789 posts
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    Caligari must pee dust. I hate to think what kind of dessicated lumps of cork he must poop.

    Be like trying to flush small brown balloons.
  • smoothpete 3 Sep 2013 14:35:09 34,929 posts
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    I saw a dog shit a pile of powder once.
  • opalw00t 3 Sep 2013 15:02:32 12,813 posts
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    This is almost as silly as ironing your own penis.
  • simiankid 3 Sep 2013 15:09:51 641 posts
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    w00t wrote:
    This is almost as silly as ironing your own penis.
    Hang on a sec - how do you get the creases out of yours then, smartass?
  • opalw00t 3 Sep 2013 15:11:31 12,813 posts
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    Sandpaper, you moron.

    FFS
  • neilka 3 Sep 2013 15:16:09 21,836 posts
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    Then bundle it up with some silica gel and send it round caligari's house.
  • Deleted user 3 September 2013 15:16:30
    Just read the OP. Sorry, but you're a moron.
  • Deleted user 3 September 2013 16:42:24
    That's no way to talk about the probably dead Kalel.
  • Deleted user 3 September 2013 16:47:12
    Darwin in action if he is.
  • neilka 3 Sep 2013 16:48:53 21,836 posts
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    Bagsy the rest of his beef jerky.
  • simiankid 3 Sep 2013 17:20:25 641 posts
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    I have to wonder how long packing peanuts last at Caligari's house.
  • the_dudefather 3 Sep 2013 17:27:14 10,821 posts
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    simiankid wrote:
    I have to wonder how long packing peanuts last at Caligari's house.
    Just pretend that they're unflavoured wotsits
  • simiankid 3 Sep 2013 17:36:43 641 posts
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    the_dudefather wrote:
    simiankid wrote:
    I have to wonder how long packing peanuts last at Caligari's house.
    Just pretend that they're unflavoured wotsits
    I'm not sure Caligari has to pretend - if they're in the house, they must be food, right?
  • DaM 3 Sep 2013 17:47:10 17,162 posts
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    I hear his family have donated his body to the Flood Rescue Team - next time there's a flood, they can just chuck his body in, problem solved. :(
  • mal 3 Sep 2013 18:00:42 29,326 posts
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    As I understand it, some packing peanuts are actually made out of cellulose so while being indigestible to humans, should actually be slightly better for you than opal fruit wrappers.
  • FartPipe 3 Sep 2013 18:24:02 5,307 posts
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    So is he alive or has he self mummified himself?
  • FartPipe 3 Sep 2013 18:27:22 5,307 posts
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    I also like the way he has put this in the food section when it should be in the science and tech section, or if there was a dumb things I've done section.
  • caligari 3 Sep 2013 18:48:18 17,930 posts
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    MrTomFTW wrote:
    I've just realised caligari hasn't posted since last night.

    Are you OK caligari? Please let us know!
    I'm okay, I'm okay!

    I've managed to get through the day only eating things that are fit for human consumption...and some things from Iceland.
  • mal 3 Sep 2013 18:56:47 29,326 posts
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    \o/
  • Trane 4 Sep 2013 10:02:14 4,050 posts
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    Ah, so it's those people who shop at Iceland.
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