| I've just dropped a bad one. Sorry colleagues. I hereby admit that it was me, not Dave like everyone suspects. It's like someone shat in a plastic bag then set it on fire. |
"I've just guffed" confession thread
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smoothpete 34,629 posts
Seen 55 minutes ago
Registered 14 years ago -
quadfather 30,858 posts
Seen 6 minutes ago
Registered 8 years agoDid one in the lift this morning just I was leaving it and about 4-5 people were entering it. Eat that! -
minky-kong 13,490 posts
Seen 10 minutes ago
Registered 10 years agoI've just dropped a potent air biscuit as well. Luckily most of the office is still out at lunch. -
minky-kong 13,490 posts
Seen 10 minutes ago
Registered 10 years agoArgh spoke to soon! They're all coming back and the rotten smell hasn't fully dissipated!
Edited by kinky_mong at 13:54:57 25-10-2013 -
PazJohnMitch 13,434 posts
Seen 8 hours ago
Registered 11 years agoDropped a few epics in the last couple of minutes. -
Mola_Ram 17,579 posts
Seen 2 hours ago
Registered 6 years agoMine are always SBVs. -
Alastair 21,922 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agoI love farting - it's something I'm really rather good at.
I dropped an evil smeller at the Pembroke during the Expo afterparty. -
neilka 21,201 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 13 years agoSuddenly that table covered in sick makes sense. -
imamazed 6,322 posts
Seen 15 minutes ago
Registered 11 years agoI love cosy nights in after a dinner of cabbage and beans.
Creating a cacoon of methane underneath the duvet is a delightful treat. -
cubbymoore 36,677 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 14 years agoYou lot stink. -
TheSaint 17,645 posts
Seen 2 minutes ago
Registered 12 years agocubbymoore wrote:
Whoever smelt it dealt it.
You lot stink. -
Alastair 21,922 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agoneilka wrote:
It was ages before that and at the other end of the pub.
Suddenly that table covered in sick makes sense. -
neilka 21,201 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 13 years agoA glacial guff. -
imamazed 6,322 posts
Seen 15 minutes ago
Registered 11 years agoTheSaint wrote:
Who ever said the rhyme, did the crime.
cubbymoore wrote:
Whoever smelt it dealt it.
You lot stink.
Checkmate. -
trampstar 92 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 11 years agoI can confirm an air biscuit has just been floated in my house, basking in the ambience. -
Tryhard 12,014 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 7 years agoI was night sorting bread orders in a small warehouse building years ago.I had been eating tuna sandwiches all week.And my gut just blew up like a balloon,and I could not stop farting for hours on end.
When the drivers turned up at 3 AM to load their lorries the smell of rotting fish almost melted their faces.The three guys who had to work through that next to me never said a word.
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quadfather 30,858 posts
Seen 6 minutes ago
Registered 8 years agoimamazed wrote:
Whoever denied it, supplied it.
TheSaint wrote:
Who ever said the rhyme, did the crime.
cubbymoore wrote:
Whoever smelt it dealt it.
You lot stink.
Checkmate. -
welshben1982 1,229 posts
Seen 35 minutes ago
Registered 12 years ago
How old are you all? -
quadfather 30,858 posts
Seen 6 minutes ago
Registered 8 years agoFart gags override age -
welshben1982 1,229 posts
Seen 35 minutes ago
Registered 12 years agoquadfather wrote:
Fart gags override age
The older you are, the smellier the fart. -
Tryhard 12,014 posts
Seen 8 months ago
Registered 7 years agoMy farts are older than I am. -
minky-kong 13,490 posts
Seen 10 minutes ago
Registered 10 years ago"There is nothing funnier than an arse noisily releasing gas that smells of shit". Not my words, the words of Stewart Lee. -
Humperfunk 7,474 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 6 years agoI did a couple last night that smelt like someone had lobbed eggs at a corpse and left it on a farm in the middle of summer for weeks.
The volume of them was hilarious though, hope my housemates heard so they could admire. -
minky-kong 13,490 posts
Seen 10 minutes ago
Registered 10 years ago@Humperfunk Share your funniest "housemate hears you farting" story please. It is hilarious! -
Reminds me of when I was on the plane back from Florida. Someone somewhere was doing farts that I was convinced was going to get the plane diverted to an emergency landing they were that bad. I spent a while pondering if they were farts or something very wrong with the enviromental systems. And no-one said a fucking thing until we were filing off the plane and I could hear people saying "Someone kept dropping their guts".
Worst of all was my wife turning to me and saying "I thought it was you". Oh well thank you very much!
No, it wasn't me
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Alastair 21,922 posts
Seen 1 hour ago
Registered 16 years agoMrTomFTW wrote:
This has made me laugh.
Worst of all was my wife turning to me and saying "I thought it was you". Oh well thank you very much!
A lot. -
imamazed 6,322 posts
Seen 15 minutes ago
Registered 11 years agoIt was you wasn't it, Tom? -
PeacockDreams 202 posts
Seen 5 years ago
Registered 9 years agoI recently farted in a customers house. Not realising they were in the same room as me. Awkward.
I don't know what horrified them more. The fact I would fart loudly in there presence or the fact that when I did fart (not knowing they were there) I laughed to myself and said 'Whammy' a la Champ Kind from Anchorman -
talking about large guffs (and becuase i cant be bothered to look for a weather thread)
Friday 25th October 2013
AMBER EARLY WARNING of WIND for southern England and southern Wales
A very intense low pressure system is forecast to run northeastwards across the country early on Monday, bringing the potential for an exceptionally windy spell of weather for southern parts of the UK. At the same time, persistent, heavy rain could cause some surface water flooding.
There is the potential for gusts of 60-80 mph quite widely and locally over 80 mph, especially on exposed coasts.
There is some continuing uncertainty in the timing, intensity and track of the low. However, the public should be prepared for the risk of falling trees as well as damage to buildings and other structures, bringing disruption to transport and power supplies.
Valid on Monday from 0005 to 2100. -
I inadvertantly crop dusted the entire office the other day. I dropped a bomb while having a wee and then dragged it across the entire office on my way back to my desk.
It couldnt have been more blatant that it was me if I stood on one leg and scrunched my face up.
The older you are, the smellier the fart. 
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