Following The Poo Diaries Page 35

  • Saul_Iscariot 26 May 2020 13:41:30 3,742 posts
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    Take a knitting needle with you.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 26 May 2020 13:44:20 25,598 posts
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    Bepanthen nappy cream applied liberally to the anus twice a day will have it feeling like the anus of a man half your age in a matter of days. It's been a miracle cure for any anus related issues I've had in the past few years.
  • mrpon 26 May 2020 13:45:34 36,273 posts
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    Apparently, I'd should be "easing it back in with my finger". Feels a bit a like a Skittle. Apologies for any Skittle lovers.

    And no. No it isn't.
  • JoeBlade 3 Jun 2020 12:59:02 5,089 posts
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    I just did a 'Ghost Log: The Way of the Samurai'

    It slid out effortlessly, silently and without smell. And when I looked down afterwards it was nowhere to be seen. Amazing.
  • TechnoHippy 3 Jun 2020 13:02:24 17,476 posts
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    I wish my morning constitutional was as easy - it fought on the way out and refused to flush away.
  • AceGrace 4 Jun 2020 17:13:41 3,225 posts
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    I did one last week that made me jump when I turned around to look at it. Was like a Cumberland sausage sitting on a bed of mash.
  • challenge_hanukkah 4 Jun 2020 17:16:31 12,840 posts
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    @MrAGSystems

    How did you get on?
  • gammonbanter 4 Jun 2020 17:35:23 1,958 posts
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    Lockdown has allowed for an initial dump first thing in the morning, followed by a coffee and then the possibility of a second wave! This can be followed by a shower and then you're set for the day!
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 7 Jun 2020 23:36:56 8,991 posts
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    Just dropped a small but highly persistent floater that took four flushes to dispatch on its way. He looked like an adventurous gent and I wish him well on his travels.
  • Godofporn 8 Jun 2020 11:07:57 6,832 posts
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    I've been drinking a lot of boost. My turds are coming out like gooop
  • Rum_Monkey 28 Jun 2020 09:57:44 965 posts
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    Had a shit the length of a colon snake with added girth. Went to admire my masterpiece and nothing was there. Wipe, and nothing.

    If I wasn't so loose that I now whistle while I walk I'd question of I even had a poo.

    Must have been the cleanest of breaks.
  • Vortex808 28 Jun 2020 12:09:00 13,856 posts
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    A self-flusher?

    The holy grail of turds! 😃
  • mrpon 10 Jul 2020 13:51:53 36,273 posts
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    Apparently when Amber Heard shat in Johnny Depps bed he started calling her Amber Turd!

    I'm sorry, but that's gold! :D
  • Rum_Monkey 10 Jul 2020 13:53:46 965 posts
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    She shat in his bed?!
  • mrpon 10 Jul 2020 13:55:56 36,273 posts
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    Hot off the press news!!
  • Rum_Monkey 10 Jul 2020 14:03:36 965 posts
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    Just been reading up about her. She's fucking mental.
  • fontgeeksogood 10 Jul 2020 14:19:22 9,972 posts
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    Good hate fuck tho
  • Jono62 10 Jul 2020 14:26:12 25,350 posts
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    Pile-Drive Angry
  • ghearoid 10 Jul 2020 14:26:19 3,599 posts
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    Reminds of that episode of It's Always Sunny where the gang try to figure out who shit in the bed. :)
  • TechnoHippy 22 Jul 2020 12:57:24 17,476 posts
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    Seems fitting :-) https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/product-reviews/B006J1FBLM?fbclid=IwAR1ASY_GfEp_h00cq9OvCbTJEgpnYUlZA4k1q0F9ZDQowTGf5gFKJOTFuyM
  • JoeBlade 22 Jul 2020 15:13:14 5,089 posts
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    TechnoHippy wrote:
    Seems fitting :-) https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/product-reviews/B006J1FBLM?fbclid=IwAR1ASY_GfEp_h00cq9OvCbTJEgpnYUlZA4k1q0F9ZDQowTGf5gFKJOTFuyM
    That reminds me: Hot Shot City is particularly good.

    (Hot Shit City would've been more fitting for the thread but alas...)
  • challenge_hanukkah 22 Jul 2020 15:20:25 12,840 posts
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    Didn't roguey steal that for one of his anecdotes?
  • JoeBlade 22 Jul 2020 15:24:03 5,089 posts
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    Now that you mention it, I vaguely remember someone posting about a gummi bear related incident on here.
  • challenge_hanukkah 22 Jul 2020 15:29:28 12,840 posts
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    Rogueywon wrote:
    Everybody's heard of sugar free gummi bears, right? The delicious sugar-free, diabetic-friendly snack whose US version includes a sweetner that also doubles as a powerful laxative?

    Those little devils resulted in one of the best Amazon reviews ever and also possibly the best plane-pooping stories ever.
    We can let him off.

    Edited by challenge_hanukkah at 15:29:39 22-07-2020
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 22 Jul 2020 15:29:42 8,991 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Didn't roguey steal that for one of his anecdotes?
    Nope. Though I did link to the reviews in this very thread a few years back. They stories and Amazon reviews have been around for ages. Over a decade, at least.
  • Rum_Monkey 22 Jul 2020 15:41:36 965 posts
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    I spent a whole day at work once cry laughing reading the reviews of howling wolf moon T-shirt.

    That was a good productive work day.
  • TechnoHippy 22 Jul 2020 15:45:11 17,476 posts
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    My apologies - I didn't remember them being posted before. Although considering my last toilet visit I think I may have eaten some today :-(
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