Following The Poo Diaries Page 36

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  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 22 Jul 2020 15:47:25 8,991 posts
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    @TechnoHippy I think Amazon deletes the reviews once in a while (probably because Haribo asks them to), but people re-post some of the classics and they get noticed again.

    I've seen some more recent reviews disappointed at the lack of fecal explosions, so I guess they've probably changed the ingredients at some point over the years.
  • thelzdking 23 Jul 2020 03:47:51 10,107 posts
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    The size of what I've just done will probably cause sea levels to rise.
  • Bambot 25 Jul 2020 09:58:27 1,821 posts
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    thelzdking wrote:
    The size of what I've just done will probably cause sea levels to rise.
    Where would you rate the consistency, on a scale of 1 (like pissing brown water out my backside) to 10 (passing this concrete monster wrecked my rectum)?
  • Trafford 25 Jul 2020 10:05:13 8,578 posts
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    I won't go in to details but I was constipated last weekend.
    When it passed I discussed it with a friend.

    "King Kong's ring finger", I agreed with him.
  • ZuluHero 25 Jul 2020 11:26:33 8,926 posts
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    Don't you just love that feeling when you go and your bad tummy vanishes instantaneously.
  • ghearoid 25 Jul 2020 11:48:22 3,599 posts
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    Whenever I get a cold, I always know it's over once I do a horrible messy poo. It's like I shat out all the badness and my body is pure again.
  • BigOrkWaaagh 31 Jul 2020 16:27:56 9,443 posts
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    Some kids broke into a soon to be demolished building at work and at least one of them had a massive shit in one of the storerooms. And I do mean massive.

    They didn't steal or break anything. Just wandered round for a bit, shat on the floor and fucked off again.
  • JoeBlade 1 Aug 2020 09:15:22 5,089 posts
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    BigOrkWaaagh wrote:
    Some kids broke into a soon to be demolished building at work and at least one of them had a massive shit in one of the storerooms. And I do mean massive.

    They didn't steal or break anything. Just wandered round for a bit, shat on the floor and fucked off again.
    I'm not sure which part of that story is the most bizarre.
  • TechnoHippy 1 Aug 2020 10:26:08 17,476 posts
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    Maybe they were so proud they left it as a gift for you to admire?
  • Trafford 1 Aug 2020 11:24:50 8,578 posts
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    A new type of urban art?
    It's kind of begging for a wafer to be stuck in it.
  • TechnoHippy 1 Aug 2020 12:38:46 17,476 posts
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    Leave it there until it goes white. Or is that only dog turds?
  • BurnoutJunkie 1 Aug 2020 14:32:23 1,178 posts
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    Trafford wrote:
    A new type of urban art?
    It's kind of begging for a wafer to be stuck in it.
    For all we know, it couldn've been Banksy.
  • oakie007 1 Aug 2020 21:32:45 282 posts
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    Had to take some shit samples to the doctors yesterday. Just my luck it was like a huge Mr Whippy. Did the typical toilet paper "landing pad mattress". Unfortunately the whole thing blocked the toilet up.... and we have a toilet that takes an age to fill.

    Wouldn't flush, so I had to use a watering can to force it down, this led to a turd splashback on the bathroom floor. What a fucking performance.
  • Rum_Monkey 2 Aug 2020 11:35:40 965 posts
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    Curry and Guinness shit.


    Just a spicy black sludge seeping out of me.
  • askew 2 Aug 2020 11:49:02 21,554 posts
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    Registered 15 years ago
    oakie007 wrote:
    Had to take some shit samples to the doctors yesterday. Just my luck it was like a huge Mr Whippy. Did the typical toilet paper "landing pad mattress". Unfortunately the whole thing blocked the toilet up.... and we have a toilet that takes an age to fill.

    Wouldn't flush, so I had to use a watering can to force it down, this led to a turd splashback on the bathroom floor. What a fucking performance.
    :lol: Good lord.
  • Trafford 2 Aug 2020 11:55:44 8,578 posts
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    Similar thing happened on my 40th birthday.
    We were on holiday in Barbados and I'd managed to get an upgrade to a beachfront suite due to my work contacts.
    My guts always get funny after long haul air travel. Match that to not so industrial strength flushing systems. It flooded the whole lower level of the suite.
    Felt like a right shit having to vacate the room while the lean up crew came in. ☹️
  • TechnoHippy 2 Aug 2020 12:25:43 17,476 posts
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    @Trafford Luckily, you'd already had one :-)
  • Trafford 2 Aug 2020 12:40:21 8,578 posts
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    @TechnoHippy
    Hah yeah.

    It was a pretty disastrous holiday really. I was divorced within a year of the trip.😛
  • oakie007 2 Aug 2020 12:44:35 282 posts
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    askew wrote:
    oakie007 wrote:
    Had to take some shit samples to the doctors yesterday. Just my luck it was like a huge Mr Whippy. Did the typical toilet paper "landing pad mattress". Unfortunately the whole thing blocked the toilet up.... and we have a toilet that takes an age to fill.

    Wouldn't flush, so I had to use a watering can to force it down, this led to a turd splashback on the bathroom floor. What a fucking performance.
    :lol: Good lord.
    At least I've now learnt how to take a shit sample correctly. Around 12 years ago I had compilabacter, went to a and e as it was so bad. Huge queue of people outside the toilet area. I thought back then that you shit in the small sample tube you were given. So I did.... Shit all over my hand wrist toilet floor and filled the tube up nicely.

    It fucking stunk... Also made it difficult to write my details on the paper label on the tube, biro does not take well to shit.
  • JoeBlade 3 Aug 2020 07:48:48 5,089 posts
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    BurnoutJunkie wrote:
    Trafford wrote:
    A new type of urban art?
    It's kind of begging for a wafer to be stuck in it.
    For all we know, it couldn've been Banksy.
    The turd was Banksy all along? Dun duun duuuuuuuuuun!
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