One-Liner Movie Reviews

  • altitude2k 2 Jun 2014 21:57:43 5,238 posts
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    So having spend an ungodly number of hours on a plane this last week, watching a big haul of movies, instead of writing some kind of meaningful summary of my opinions or plucking an arbitrary score out of the air, I thought I'd sum some of them up with nice short sentences.

    Anchorman 2
    Trying a bit too hard.

    12 Years a Slave
    :'(

    Robocop
    I don't need to see that bit with the lungs anymore, thanks.

    Ender's Game
    Orson Scott Card is a bit of a cunt.

    Her
    I've got the weirdest boner, right now.
  • convercide 3 Jun 2014 17:42:44 6,531 posts
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    Bad Neighbours

    Not as funny as other people think it is.
  • richarddavies 3 Jun 2014 17:51:54 8,312 posts
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    Godzilla

    A little bit shit
  • Aargh, 3 Jun 2014 17:52:11 292 posts
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    Godfather 3

    "The Godfather, Part III" continues the Corleone family history in 1979, some of the dialogue scenes, especially in the beginning, sound vaguely awkward; the answers do not fit the questions, and conversations seem to have been rewritten in the editing room other shots - long shots, into the light, so we cannot see the characters' lips -- look suspiciously like scenes that were filmed first and dubbed later the whole ambitious final movement of the film - in which two separate intrigues are intercut with the progress of an opera being sung by Anthony -- is intended to be suspenseful but is so confusing, we are not even sure which place (Sicily, Rome, London?) one of the intrigues is occurring The final scene of the movie, which is intended to echo Marlon Brando's famous death scene, is perfunctory and awkward and yet it's strange how the earlier movies fill in the gaps left by this one, and answer the questions it is, I suspect, not even possible to understand this film without knowing the first two, and yet, knowing them, "Part III" works better than it should, evokes the same sense of wasted greatness, of misdirected genius both Don Vito Corleone and Don Michael Corleone could have been great men But they lacked that final shred of character that would have allowed them to break free from their own pasts Or perhaps their tragedies were dictated by circumstances perhaps they were simply born into the wrong family.
  • neilka 3 Jun 2014 17:58:09 24,026 posts
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    Silence of the Lambs
    : )
  • Deleted user 3 June 2014 18:15:25
    This is a much better idea than that 'out of 10' shit.

    The Hunger Games

    Forced peril for characters I don't give a fuck about.
  • Sponz 3 Jun 2014 18:23:00 702 posts
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    Non-Stop - Starring Liam Neeson

    Unbelievable load of gash, avoid.
  • altitude2k 3 Jun 2014 19:11:28 5,238 posts
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    Well, I'm glad Aargh got the obvious joke eye-rolling out the way quickly.
  • convercide 3 Jun 2014 20:38:03 6,531 posts
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    Spaceballs

    Prepare yourself for ludicrous laughs.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2014 21:16:35
    Are we allowed one sentence discussions on movies, or are they verboten?
  • Deleted user 3 June 2014 21:19:48
    Titanic

    The iceburg wins.
  • altitude2k 3 Jun 2014 21:44:54 5,238 posts
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    poot wrote:
    Are we allowed one sentence discussions on movies, or are they verboten?
    If someone's one-liner is worthy of discussion, then I'll allow it.

    ...can't really do much about it either way.
  • altitude2k 3 Jun 2014 21:46:12 5,238 posts
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    Ka-blamo wrote:
    One sentence? that is basically the rate the last film you saw thread.

    luckily people have understood what you meant which is one line.
    Maybe a mod can change it to "One-Liner Movie Reviews"?
  • Bauul 3 Jun 2014 23:39:59 868 posts
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    I caught up on a load of classics I hadn't seen recently. In no particular order:

    12 Angry Men
    All talking, all awesome. Basically works like a play

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
    Bad guy not nearly as bad as everyone says, ending is just as sad as everyone says.

    Seven Samurai
    Over-the-top acting and everyone yelping for three straight hours is pretty tiring, but it's interesting from a historical viewpoint.

    City of God
    Kids killed by kids who kill more killer kids. I routed for the chicken.

    Once Upon a Time in the West
    Sooooo.... slooooowww.... like a particularly pretty snail. On a horse.

    Psycho
    Where the main star... is in like 3/4 of the movie, despite what everyone says.

    Rear Window
    Flash attack! And isn't the girlfriend badass?

    Casablanca
    Insert famous quote HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.

    Life is Beautiful
    Slapstick comedy + the Holocaust = ALL OF THE FEELS! I didn't know I could cry that hard (joking aside, it's the best film I've seen in years, seriously).
  • Khanivor 3 Jun 2014 23:44:41 44,800 posts
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    Gravity

    A calamity of errors
  • Deleted user 3 June 2014 23:45:40
    The Happening

    Treevil
  • mrpon 3 Jun 2014 23:50:12 37,367 posts
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    altitude2k wrote:
    Ka-blamo wrote:
    One sentence? that is basically the rate the last film you saw thread.

    luckily people have understood what you meant which is one line.
    Maybe a mod can change it to "One-Liner Movie Reviews"?
    Or just Movie Reviews.
  • Stickman 3 Jun 2014 23:50:21 29,986 posts
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    10,000 BC

    A masterclass in boredom.
  • Aargh, 4 Jun 2014 00:05:19 292 posts
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    altitude2k wrote:
    Well, I'm glad Aargh got the obvious joke eye-rolling out the way quickly.
    One sentence review of the thread.

    Mongy.

    Edited by Aargh, at 00:05:51 04-06-2014
  • Bauul 4 Jun 2014 00:05:43 868 posts
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    Post deleted
  • sega 4 Jun 2014 01:29:45 908 posts
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    Prometheus

    One of the best science fiction films in recent years.
  • Mola_Ram 4 Jun 2014 03:34:14 26,196 posts
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    John Dies at the End

    No he doesn't.
  • Phattso 4 Jun 2014 08:01:45 27,426 posts
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    He was a ghost the whole time!
    Bruce Willis.



    This shit is easy, yo.
  • imamazed 4 Jun 2014 08:09:56 6,709 posts
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    Blue Jasmine

    Disgraced woman talks to herself, not Arnold Rothstein.
  • Deleted user 4 June 2014 09:04:21
    Fifth Element

    Fucking love it.
  • Tonka 4 Jun 2014 09:40:25 31,980 posts
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    You guys are doing one line summaries or one line spoilers.

    This thread
    Full of people incapable of following the simplest instruction failing hard at being funny.
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