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(I'm not masturbating as I write this) Blajonski sighed, and pushed his chair away from his luxurious, faux leatherette writing table, a perfect replica of Tony Montana's from Scarface. "What's wrong, my platonic friend?" I ask "I've been posting about films now for a week and no cunt has replied" said Blajonski, a tear rolling down his chiselled features "Well, maybe they know they will never be able to question your film authority. Want to wrestle by the fire?" "In a minute" says Blajonski. "It's getting A Bit Cokey up in here" and buried his face into the mountain of white powder on his desk "But Blajonski, that's your fungal foot powder" I exclaim, but it's too late He took his face out of the powder and we had a wrestle by the fire, he won, we shook hands, had a cup of tea and never spoke of it again. |
The all new, not rude nor romantic thread
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Anyone else get the impression that PES has murdered jablonski? I know I haven't seen him for a while. -
BreadBinLidHero 10,801 posts
Seen 11 hours ago
Registered 12 years agoMistaking his foot powder for cocaine, what a spastic... -
Who's Jablonski? -
If someone cannot be described as 'classic', is there any point talking about them? -
BreadBinLidHero 10,801 posts
Seen 11 hours ago
Registered 12 years agoBremenacht wrote:
Yes, if they can be described as 'all new'.
If someone cannot be described as 'classic', is there any point talking about them? -
Classic New and Improved Jablonski -
All this time we've had old and inferior jablonski. -
I will only talk of All New Jawhoshe if
1/ He is All New
2/ He is Classic
Those are my terms and they are not up for negotiation, no matter how many sausages are involved. -
Wait, what?! FFS, this thread isn't dirty, I specifically mention that in the title.
One evening rolling around on gym mats with sweaty men and Craigy's all hot and flustered -
Blajonski yawned, revealing a perfect set of ivory fangs. "Well, I'm still banned from that site we like - MuralGazer. I guess my views on plastics was just too much for the stone-based mural traditionalists there". I nodded, but really my heart wasn't in the relationship anymore. I wasn't banned from MuralGazer, despite never really posting about anything to do with murals, and wanted to share this love for the site in a purely platonic, non-sexual way.
At that very moment, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" I said, happy to have a welcome distraction. At the door was a new MuralGazer friend - YpeercBurkcab. "Oh, hi Ypeerc" I stuttered, at once noticing how the moonlight picked out his piercing blue eyes and bulging pecs. "Hi, Stucco_Fanboy" said Ypeerc, "Can I borrow a cup of sugar, some Kleenex, a roofie and perhaps your signed photo of the popular singer Diana Vickers?" "Of course" I said, cracking open the Emergency Ypeerc box which contained those things particularly for Ypeercy's frequent visits.
As Ypeerc disappeared into the night in a cloud of Axe body spray and chloroform, I reminisced of the days where we would often have a wrestle in front of a roaring fire, before having a cup of tea and talking no more about it. "If only I had that sort of relationship with Blajonski" I mused, as I kicked Blajonski out of the house forever and made up Ypeercy's room. -
neilka 24,021 posts
Seen 1 minute ago
Registered 16 years agoESSETAIL -
FartPipe 5,307 posts
Seen 5 years ago
Registered 9 years agoMy balls are tingling. -
Admit it: you were masturbating while you wrote that last piece, weren't you? -
I just realised I didn't write that I WASN'T masturbating as I wrote it... -
I'm not masturbating as I write this
EatPoopAndStuff lay back on the faux bearskin rug, his six pack glistening from being too close to the fire after having a wrestle.
"It.....it's good to be back" he said, slightly choked with emotion.
We shook hands, had a cup of tea and never mentioned it again. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoIs that who he is now. -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoThe execrably named, Billy_Sastard level 'EatShitandLive'. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 16 years ago -
I wondered who he was. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 16 years agonickthegun wrote:
What worries me is there's some shit, self published, hard boiled novel out there that he's been writing with the same title, and this passes as promotion.
The execrably named, Billy_Sastard level 'EatShitandLive'. -
nickthegun 87,711 posts
Seen 3 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoWhat saddens me is that after the amount of spite and vitriol he poured into his forum suicide note, he has even got the dignity to stay gone.
Have some self re-cocking-spect, jablonski. -
Wait...what? Is EatShit Blonks reincarnated?
Damn...I'm away for a couple days sorting out my piffling divorce and I miss the important stuff. -
TheMayorOfJugs 6,489 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 8 years agoStealth 'I'm single' post. -
@TheMayorOfJugs
Heh. Nope...stealth "I wanna move on with someone else" post. -
TheMayorOfJugs 6,489 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 8 years agoStealth 'I could be Juz what you need' post. -
Phattso wrote:
iancognito wrote:
Almost. He was temp-banned for the spastic thing, then had a flurry of exchanges with me at the end of which (me not being the forgiving type) it turned permanent.
I think jablonski called someone a spastic, refused to back down or apologise in anyway, then had a big argument in the messages with MrTom where he said exactly what he thought of him and various other posters.
If it's any consolation, on his way out the door he said he wouldn't miss the place. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
Seen 4 hours ago
Registered 16 years agoRevolving door -
EatShootsAndLeaves sat back on the green leather wingback. "Well these cunts probably missed me, deep down" he said, slugging back an Appletini like it was water or something.
As I surreptitiously pushed my Blajonski shrine out of his eyeline, a single tear rolled down my cheek, as I realised he would never reciprocate in my platonic, manly admiration for him.
PS I am too sad to disclose my binary wanking status
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