RichieTenenbaum wrote:Really good this. Reminds me of Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell or whatever it was called. Few repetitions and spelling problems but nothing you wouldn't pick up yourself with a quick read. If this was a real book I'd keep reading it based on first impressions. Keep writing, I'm intrigued. |
National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) 2016
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Page 6
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macmurphy 4,448 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 14 years ago -
Still going on my day one here (just closing in on 5pm), but just shy of 13,000. Not a bad start. -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 18 years ago13k in one day?
You'll be finished by Saturday!
I've managed three quarters of a chapter, which is about 1500 words. I've hit a bit where I couldn't remember what I was intending to do, so I'll sleep on it and finish it tomorrow.
Had a breakthrough with another section though. I had a character that was going nowhere, so talked it over with a mate at work who writes.
Told him what the problem was, and how I didn't know how to take them forward.
He shrugged and said 'Kill him.'
Works for me! -
MetalDog 24,076 posts
Seen 3 years ago
Registered 20 years agoDay One.
Since I have to be up at five again, I have to crash now. My 'weekend' is almost upon me though, so I'll get some reading done tomorrow night.
Write on, you mad buggers. -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years agoOh well. I've made a start. 1643 words.
I was going to give up before I'd even written anything, realising there's no way I've got time for this, but something made me start.
No idea where I'm going with it but hey ho! -
Only 500 words done on day one but I aim to be into a routine by the weekend. I'll try to concentrate on getting stuff down rather than worrying about the quality or any particular details. Rough and ready needs to be the order of the day to achieve the word count. Turns out writing 1700 words a day isn't that easy, after all .gif)
The chromebook I bought (stupidly, just for this challenge!) works pretty well. I've got it set up for offline and online document editing and I can also use the web. The keyboard could be smidge bigger but it's ultra portable and it'll do for writing during the daily commute. -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 18 years agoMetalDog wrote:
\o/
Day One.
Since I have to be up at five again, I have to crash now. My 'weekend' is almost upon me though, so I'll get some reading done tomorrow night.
Write on, you mad buggers.
I'm hooked!
Nick's a bit of a dick but I like him. He reminds me of Spider Jerusalem from Transmetropolitan.
Interesting concept of multiple law enforcement agencies but only some of them having the 'Police' contract.
Quote of the day : "At forty seven, Nick was old enough to look at the crowd of be-feathered, jerking bodies under the flashing lights and wonder what the fuck was wrong with the youth of today"
Possible typo - " muscles in his eyes respond to the twitch-dampeners". Should be 'responded'?
Keep it up! -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years agoDay One
Blatantly obvious I have no idea what I'm doing with this but just going to see where it leads me. -
@wuntyphyve
An interesting start, indicating a mystery and things to come! I like the sparse descriptive style. I fear my own writing is overly descriptive.
Noticed a couple of typos. Emphasise instead of empathise, and confusion of it's / its. -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years ago@rice_sandwich Thanks! It's a mystery to me too 
Those damn s / 's will always get me!!
I normally suffer from being overly descriptive as well to be honest, trying to reel it in a bit. -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 18 years ago@wuntyphyve
Interesting is right. The spartan, jerky style of your writing serves to unnerve the reader. The viewpoint seems to drift a little - sometimes the narrator seems to be coming from a smug 'I'm in control, I'll wait for you to catch on to what's happening.' sort of vibe, and at other points s/he seems like s/he's given up and is just waiting for the gentle caress of death's elegant fingers. (Ever since I read Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' I can only envisage death as a hot babe in black with bird's nest hair and a filthy chuckle.)
Nice bit of 'show don't tell' btw. The comics serve to establish the era without explicitly stating a date.
Keep it up - I want to know what happens. -
So how is everyone planning their work? Making it up as you go along or do you have some kind of rough plot outline?
At the moment I have some unrelated fragments. I'm unsure of the chronology, whether looking back at what has happened or narrating the present is a better approach. Will try to create a blog tonight and post progress. -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years ago@boo Thanks boo. I think this next month will be more of an experiment than anything else. I'm not quite sure what to do with narration but fancied trying something maybe a bit less predictable. Not sure if I can make it work but it should be fun trying. -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years ago@rice_sandwich I'm very much winging it although I have a rough idea for what the bulk of the story will focus on. The overarching narrative, main plot and ending are a complete mystery though. -
Skirlasvoud 4,039 posts
Seen 4 months ago
Registered 11 years ago@wuntyphyve
Like others have said... Interesting.
"Your thinking on time"
Is supposed to be "you're thinking about time" I suspect.
I like the personal monologue directed at the reader.
Just don't get cocky. I might not want to read every word. 
Abstract moments like the sand coming through the wall are very effective. Gives my imagination a workout, forces me to invest and well reflects a certain disjointed mentality in character and story style.
The rather cut and dry drawing beards on things less so, ( unless you're setting up beards )but keep it up!
Edited by Skirlasvoud at 13:04:20 02-11-2016 -
BearFishPie 837 posts
Seen 4 weeks ago
Registered 10 years ago@rice_sandwich Poorly! I'm writing linearly from Chapter 1 so far, from a planned starting point to a more or less defined ending, though have a whole lot of nothing established for the middle. I've only got one thinly sketched main character so far too so I think I'm far from a literary exemplar. I also have a nagging suspicion that this book is going to turn out rubbish.
I've found I tend to work best when I'm writing semi-freeform, with a short range goal in mind. -
Skirlasvoud 4,039 posts
Seen 4 months ago
Registered 11 years agorice_sandwich wrote:
As a rebel, I'm cheating somewhat, but in general and even should I have started fresh, I NEVER really make up things as I go along.
So how is everyone planning their work? Making it up as you go along or do you have some kind of rough plot outline?
Throughout my life, certain subjects get lodged in my mind. Certain subjects, time periods, circumstances, events. Then, whenever I don't focus on something, like when I'm in a queue, drifting asleep, or staring out a train, I subconsciously go "Yeah, that's pretty cool. Wonder where that goes best, what would have happened if it were different, how she would have reacted. Wonder what happens if I put that character in there, how I could have presented that subject at a different angle?"
If you were to lift me out of bed, keep me at gunpoint and force me to write, a certain amount of puzzlepieces would already spill automatically from my mind. They're all pre-made, well defined subjects and characters I always have with me.
All I'd do then is take a pen and fill in the rest of the jiggsaw puzzle between them into a common theme and arc.
When writing of my own accord, I already have plenty of itches I need to scratch.
Whenever I write, I already have a feeling and an idea of where I want to go, with a beginning and an end. I get obsessed with anything else I can find on the subject thereafter. There's plenty of neat little details that pop up and integrated as I go along, but I never stumble blindly.
Edited by Skirlasvoud at 14:29:10 02-11-2016 -
sunjumper 3,548 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 20 years agoI am going to have a late start I'm afraid. Hoefully having all NaNo desasters on the first few days will mean that the later ones will be better.
Godspeed to all of you. -
wuntyate 17,494 posts
Seen 7 hours ago
Registered 8 years ago@Skirlasvoud i shall try and avoid too much cockiness, you're right i don't want it to be offputting. The beards were when my brain began to fall asleep ha ha. In fact i think desperate Dan already has a beard. Stubble anyway!! -
Salaman 24,162 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoMetalDog wrote:
Christ that's impressive. The only bit in all of that which stood out for a moment and caused me pause as I was reading was the repeat use of "tiny table" in one sentence. Otherwise it's as if it's already had a once over of polish and fixing.
Day One.
Since I have to be up at five again, I have to crash now. My 'weekend' is almost upon me though, so I'll get some reading done tomorrow night.
Write on, you mad buggers.
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Salaman 24,162 posts
Seen 2 weeks ago
Registered 17 years agoRichieTenenbaum wrote:
Of course I skimmed through the thread to see how people were getting on before reading anything. Still to echo others, very good start. You've got me on board with the story.
The12thMonkey wrote:
I was going to make it imaginary but then I was just like,nah, it's obviously based on Venice , just make it Venice.
@RichieTenenbaum The scene setting opening paragraph is very strong. I half expected it to go to an imaginary city, but the reveal to Venice was a nice switch.
Also I went to Venice last week
A little rough around the edges here and there, as can be expected after typing up a bunch of stuff and dumping it to be scrutinised by your fellow EG-ers.
There were a few instances where the narrative confused the mental image I was building up in my mind as I was reading.
For example the guy getting into the boat. You mention he feels his trousers soaking up water. I immediately thought 'wouldn't that mean his feet are fully submerged in the water. Wouldn't that catch his attention first, not the trousers? Unless he's got boots on .. but still'
When he gets to the island though, you mention his shoes, so no boots either.
Another example was right before, when he tries to get a good luck at the face of the man in the boat ... but he has a hood on. Surely he'd notice the guy has a hood on and his face isn't visible rather than attempt to get a good luck at his face that isn't visible only to then realise it's not visible.
It's small stuff like that which will be easily fixed in an editing pass later. The story itself is gripping enough.
Keep at it. -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 18 years agoSalaman wrote:
Yeah, get used to it. MD turns stuff this good out every year.
MetalDog wrote:
Christ that's impressive. The only bit in all of that which stood out for a moment and caused me pause as I was reading was the repeat use of "tiny table" in one sentence. Otherwise it's as if it's already had a once over of polish and fixing.
Day One.
Since I have to be up at five again, I have to crash now. My 'weekend' is almost upon me though, so I'll get some reading done tomorrow night.
Write on, you mad buggers.
-
CosmicFuzz 32,632 posts
Seen 5 hours ago
Registered 15 years agoOk, I've written two lines.
TWO LINES
Just not had any time so far. May need to go for a mammoth weekend splurge and get something onto the page.
And then get some writing done. Boom! With a wit like this how can I fail?! -
The12thMonkey 598 posts
Seen 8 hours ago
Registered 17 years agoSo, I've got around to putting a very basic blog together for this, and here's the first chunk of my introduction, called Observations.
I will edit in feedback for the ones I read today in a bit.
Edits!
@MetalDog I felt Nick's encroaching world-weariness, and plenty of cool ideas were introduced that I guess will get fleshed out later on. But a nice way to draw in!
Edited by The12thMonkey at 08:58:14 03-11-2016 -
Ok, day 1 and 2 writing is up:
http://thebirdwatchernovel.blogspot.co.uk/
Just a bunch of pretty crappy fragments that need loads of work but it's a start! -
Carbon_Altered 890 posts
Seen 2 days ago
Registered 15 years agoYay, @MetalDog sci fi!
Is the "Polymol massacre on Mars" a reference to one of your previous works? I can't remember what the company was called then. -
BearFishPie 837 posts
Seen 4 weeks ago
Registered 10 years ago3026 and time for bed. Got some catching up to do but finally have a sense of momentum, and more importantly something of a story framework. -
Metalfish 9,191 posts
Seen 1 year ago
Registered 16 years agoOkay, here's the story so far (and the story itself in its absurd entirety), which quite frankly, is a day's nannoing in terms of writing which I probably should have just done instead. New words will be in a separate document
Sweet jesus, that story so far makes it sound shit. It's shit isn't it? I've spent years of my life writing shit....
Edited by Metalfish at 22:41:50 02-11-2016 -
boo 13,901 posts
Seen 5 days ago
Registered 18 years agoI know I haven't posted anything yet but I've been out the last two nights, so keep away with that basting brush. I'll have something up tomorrow. -
The12thMonkey wrote:
That's kinda cool! Was very surprised when they clambered into what I thought was an old shack and it had a glass elevator in it.
So, I've got around to putting a very basic blog together for this, and here's the first chunk of my introduction, called Observations.
I will edit in feedback for the ones I read today in a bit.
More please.
.gif)
Just don't get cocky. I might not want to read every word. 
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