Bond 25 - Cuntpuncher/No Time to Die - Out April 2020 Page 13

  • bone-on 22 Jul 2019 19:33:45 805 posts
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    Jacob Rees-Mogg is how Harry Potter would turn out if he got buggered at Hogwarts for 15yrs
  • macmurphy 22 Jul 2019 19:35:46 4,448 posts
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  • gammonbanter 22 Jul 2019 20:12:44 2,283 posts
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    I wonder if they could do a super realistic Bond film and teach us a thing or two about how modern espionage plays out! We're all bored by meaningless action.

    Or, give the Bond code name to a hacker who works for MI6, there were a spate of crappy hacker films 20 years ago, no one ever got it right!
  • fontgeeksogood 22 Jul 2019 20:15:46 12,913 posts
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    Maybe they could do a procedural drama based on the social networking battle against radicalisation, that'd really pack them in
  • JamboWayOh 22 Jul 2019 20:19:17 25,237 posts
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    gammonbanter wrote:
    I wonder if they could do a super realistic Bond film and teach us a thing or two about how modern espionage plays out! We're all bored by meaningless action.

    Or, give the Bond code name to a hacker who works for MI6, there were a spate of crappy hacker films 20 years ago, no one ever got it right!
    I can totally see it, Bond saves the world and defeats the villain by calling the police on him after sending him some untraceable child porn and then gets up from his chair and takes the japanese love doll out of his wardrobe and gives it a wipe down with a wetwipe. Fin.
  • JamboWayOh 22 Jul 2019 20:25:18 25,237 posts
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    Alternatively, Bond is technically a civil servant so I'm sure it'll give us a white knuckle ride of sending the villain an immigration form and continually ask for evidence of his income, spousal income, dependants and addresses for the last 20 years, culminating in the heart pounding scene where Blofeld appeals his rejected application.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 20:25:42 22-07-2019
  • fontgeeksogood 22 Jul 2019 20:30:42 12,913 posts
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    Dammit Bond, you KNOW your TPS reports are due!

    Bond smiled wryly. He had no respect for these rules. Also, he knew that he could claim he was working on these at the weekend despite going home at 1PM on the Friday
  • askew 22 Jul 2019 20:40:30 24,121 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    gammonbanter wrote:
    I wonder if they could do a super realistic Bond film and teach us a thing or two about how modern espionage plays out! We're all bored by meaningless action.

    Or, give the Bond code name to a hacker who works for MI6, there were a spate of crappy hacker films 20 years ago, no one ever got it right!
    I can totally see it, Bond saves the world and defeats the villain by calling the police on him after sending him some untraceable child porn and then gets up from his chair and takes the japanese love doll out of his wardrobe and gives it a wipe down with a wetwipe. Fin.
    Bond locks himself inside a suitcase (from the inside!) and asphyxiwanks. His remains are found sometime later, when Moneypenny calls in.

    Russian involvement is suspected.
  • JYM60 22 Jul 2019 20:43:10 19,085 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    Alternatively, Bond is technically a civil servant so I'm sure it'll give us a white knuckle ride of sending the villain an immigration form and continually ask for evidence of his income, spousal income, dependants and addresses for the last 20 years, culminating in the heart pounding scene where Blofeld appeals his rejected application.
    If he's not on sick leave.
  • JamboWayOh 22 Jul 2019 20:43:31 25,237 posts
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    @askew

    Glol I forgot that was a real thing.
  • beastmaster 22 Jul 2019 21:23:47 22,373 posts
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    Nicholas Hoult?
  • fontgeeksogood 22 Jul 2019 21:26:32 12,913 posts
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    He's a leggy blonde
  • gammonbanter 22 Jul 2019 22:50:51 2,283 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    Alternatively, Bond is technically a civil servant so I'm sure it'll give us a white knuckle ride of sending the villain an immigration form and continually ask for evidence of his income, spousal income, dependants and addresses for the last 20 years, culminating in the heart pounding scene where Blofeld appeals his rejected application.
    Why not, completely reimagining the character as a pen pusher who stumbles onto something big is better than him going on an adventure with a pensioner and recreating home alone!
  • JamboWayOh 22 Jul 2019 23:35:21 25,237 posts
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    So Basildon Bond then?
  • neilka 22 Jul 2019 23:44:25 24,025 posts
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    Premium Bond
  • RGeefe 23 Jul 2019 08:41:14 2,409 posts
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    Bond runs for an MP position with the Tories, boasting his "extensive military experience" and takes down some baddies in London with JUST A PEN. then gets elected to PM on a wave of support from The Sun and Daily Mail.
  • gammonbanter 23 Jul 2019 14:35:22 2,283 posts
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    Wake me up after the next Bond escapes from an exploding building at the end of the film!
  • Trowel 20 Aug 2019 17:15:21 24,512 posts
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    "No Time To Die"

    https://twitter.com/007/status/1163843400644403200
  • Mola_Ram 20 Aug 2019 17:21:19 26,196 posts
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    I preferred Cuntpuncher.
  • BinaryBob101 20 Aug 2019 17:52:49 27,756 posts
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    Post deleted
  • BinaryBob101 20 Aug 2019 17:53:09 27,756 posts
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    Not sure why, but that font is very evocative of the Moore era for some reason.
  • Deleted user 20 August 2019 18:01:04
    gammonbanter wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:
    Alternatively, Bond is technically a civil servant so I'm sure it'll give us a white knuckle ride of sending the villain an immigration form and continually ask for evidence of his income, spousal income, dependants and addresses for the last 20 years, culminating in the heart pounding scene where Blofeld appeals his rejected application.
    Why not, completely reimagining the character as a pen pusher who stumbles onto something big is better than him going on an adventure with a pensioner and recreating home alone!
    Isn't that sort of Jack Ryan you're describing?

    I'm kind of done with Bond. Nothing matched Casino Royale and although they tried to actually have a narrative for once through Craig's tenure it all failed imo. Skyfall dumbfounded me as to its critical reception.

    I expect the next Bond actor to have a resurgent film that enthuses the populace suitably directed by Martin Campbell and the ensuing run of diminished returns taking in another embarrassing 'anniversary' installment. Then hopefully taken out back and shot.

    Edited by adamasunder12 at 18:02:21 20-08-2019
  • Syrette 20 Aug 2019 19:32:46 51,181 posts
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    It's such a clichéd Bond film name.
  • BreadBinLidHero 20 Aug 2019 20:08:50 10,803 posts
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    Should've called it "Bond: Endgame".
  • Deleted user 20 August 2019 20:25:42
    Syrette wrote:
    It's such a clichéd Bond film name.
    Yes incredibly.

    I wonder if he has time to duck.
  • Deleted user 20 August 2019 20:26:26
    thelzdking wrote:
    Should've called it "Bond: Endgame".
    Ethan Hunt, Salt, that one with Charlize Theron and Red Sparrow all walk through portals?
  • Not-a-reviewer 20 Aug 2019 20:48:33 7,686 posts
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    This one is based on Mark Francois’ unpublished autobiography.
  • beastmaster 20 Aug 2019 21:17:24 22,373 posts
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    Trailer will probably be out before the end of the week. Sphlendid.

    Edit: Font used on the title is being compared to The Love Boat title. Who did it better?

    Edited by beastmaster at 21:35:31 20-08-2019
  • Deleted user 21 August 2019 00:19:40
    Mola_Ram wrote:
    I preferred Cuntpuncher.
    Damned, every time I read that it starts playing in my head to the tune of Bassey's Goldfinger :(
  • fontgeeksogood 21 Aug 2019 07:41:31 12,913 posts
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    He's the man
    The man with the smelly watch
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