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I've definitely started thinking about kids more since losing a testicle this year. I've become as people say rather broody. It's odd that when I was younger I very keen to have kids, getting into teaching kind of dampened that mood however. It has been weird seeing most of my friends all settle down, get married, have kids and I've been single since last summer after being with someone I wasn't really into but just let it continue. It's definitely made me think hard about not rushing into a relationship, although I really do want to but my confidence has been shot to shit in the past six months As most people have said, do what makes you happy I suppose as long as you both agree. I only say this as a friend of mine is having trouble with his wife after she changed her mind after getting married and doesn't want kids now. Obviously he's distraught and she's definitely not a warm kind of person. Edited by JamboWayOh at 19:34:02 01-11-2017 |
Not having children in 2017 (and beyond) • Page 2
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JamboWayOh 25,236 posts
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challenge_hanukkah 14,394 posts
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Registered 8 years agoYou can have mine if you like. -
StixxUK 8,755 posts
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Registered 19 years agoI'd have kids if I could hand them over to someone else and just hang out with them when they're being fun and cute, and again once they're old enough to look after themselves and not cause any trouble. Other half of 7 years feels the same way.
So basically I'm in the same boat as OP.
There's arguments for and against it being a selfish decision either way. Will aim to have decent relationships with nephews, nieces, friends kids. Although quite a few friends seem to be making the same choice. -
OnlyJoeKing 1,293 posts
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Registered 9 years agoI have no interest whatsoever in having kids. My girlfriend, however, of getting on maybe 8 years or so, is sadly not of the same persuasion. At one stage I guess we're going to have to deal with it somehow. That'll be fun!
Suffice to say, I am a bit jealous. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
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Registered 16 years agoOne of the main perks is getting into the dads club group -
OnlyJoeKing 1,293 posts
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Registered 9 years agoYou can't really compromise on having a kid either. I had hoped to whip out a puppy at the last possible moment, the old bait & switch, but I'm increasingly doubtful that would cut it. -
THFourteen 54,987 posts
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Registered 16 years agoIt’s more selfish to have kids when you don’t particularly want them than to not have kids because you think you are being selfish.
You should (and are) doing what suits you.
Only thing I’d say is expect your friendship circle to change as you get older and friends with kids start to do various things together and you end up hanging out more with friends who don’t have kids. Don’t take this personally, it’s just a natural thing. -
richarddavies 8,312 posts
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Registered 13 years agoOnlyJoeKing wrote:
I would hope she's not thinking about having kids if she's only 8!
I have no interest whatsoever in having kids. My girlfriend, however, of getting on maybe 8 years or so, is sadly not of the same persuasion. -
sport 17,064 posts
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Registered 16 years agoIt's really not that bad guys. I couldn't imagine my life without my 2 little uns. -
AceGrace 3,464 posts
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Registered 11 years agoOn the flip side I am really glad I have 2 kids. Yes, there is a lot of hassle but when it is good, it is brilliant. Sharing a joke with my 6 year old son or having my 10 year old daughter randomly tell me that I am the best dad in the world can't be beaten. Oh and Christmas is magical again. 😁
Still, I respect your decision. Kids are not for everyone although I must admit, I have never worried about overpopulation or any world issues. Life is hard enough without worrying about that stuff.
Edited by AceGrace at 19:52:58 01-11-2017 -
JamboWayOh 25,236 posts
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Registered 8 years agoTHFourteen wrote:
Yeah...I've noticed this.
It’s more selfish to have kids when you don’t particularly want them than to not have kids because you think you are being selfish.
You should (and are) doing what suits you.
Only thing I’d say is expect your friendship circle to change as you get older and friends with kids start to do various things together and you end up hanging out more with friends who don’t have kids. Don’t take this personally, it’s just a natural thing.
/cries into pillow -
shamblemonkee 17,967 posts
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Registered 17 years agoYour life, your call. End of.
I think most parents would say that they are envious of those that don't have kids in terms of the freedoms you expressed.
However, if they're honest i'm sure they'd also say that despite all the graft (and honestly it is simultaneously the best and hardest thing ever) kids in fact open up a whole new world of opportunities and excitement. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
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Registered 16 years agoYou get to meet loads and loads of bored, unsatisfied yet sexy mums who all want a bit of no strings rough on the side, so there’s that too -
shamblemonkee 17,967 posts
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Registered 17 years agoSYS64738 wrote:
Don't take this the wrong way but kids, especially young ones basically make that state of being unavoidable, its not always intentional by the parents, it's just that kiddies take a lot of time and effort and are basically a time and attention blackhole.
...them thinking that the world now evolves around them because they decided to make babies.
Edited by shamblemonkee at 19:54:15 01-11-2017 -
AceGrace 3,464 posts
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Registered 11 years agoshamblemonkee wrote:
Wipes. How did I cope before wipes!
Your life, your call. End of.
I think most parents would say that they are envious of those that don't have kids in terms of the freedoms you expressed.
However, if they're honest i'm sure they'd also say that despite all the graft (and honestly it is simultaneously the best and hardest thing ever) kids in fact open up a whole new world of opportunities and excitement. -
shamblemonkee 17,967 posts
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Registered 17 years ago@AceGrace and detailed texts from the other half about poop -
OnlyJoeKing 1,293 posts
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Registered 9 years agoA (kidless) mate of mine had an interesting perspective: challenge is a good thing, energising - maybe having a kid could be seen as a new way to invigorate your life? Stop things getting dull.
Not for me, Clive. Sounds like a right ballache. But of course, each to their own. -
Fake_Blood 11,093 posts
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Registered 12 years agoHad the same discussion with my girlfriend about a month ago and basically we ended up talking till 6 in the morning going over all the pro's and con's, in the end we both agreed against getting kids, and getting iphone 10s instead. -
elstoof 28,125 posts
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Registered 16 years agoshamblemonkee wrote:
Get to fuck, if you’re that kind of parent then you were that kind of person to start with. If you’re putting endless sickening social media photos of your sprog then you were probably putting pictures to show how in love you and your booboo were in
SYS64738 wrote:
Don't take this the wrong way but kids, especially young ones basically make that state of being unavoidable
...them thinking that the world now evolves around them because they decided to make babies. -
JamboWayOh 25,236 posts
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Registered 8 years agoIf I ever manage to have kids I'll make sure I'm not one of those insufferable people who post an extreme amount of pics of their child as if they were the first person in the world to have a bloody kid.
Edited by JamboWayOh at 20:00:12 01-11-2017 -
shamblemonkee 17,967 posts
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Registered 17 years ago@elstoof tell me how you REALLY feel . -
THFourteen 54,987 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI post pics of my kids on Facebook. It’s not every day but probably one or two per week when they’ve done something funny.
My reasoning is I don’t mind seeing everyone else’s funny children pics so I imagine they don’t mind mine.
Having said that I also take pictures of my food. -
JamboWayOh 25,236 posts
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Registered 8 years ago@THFourteen
I liked you....Not sure now. -
KD 3,575 posts
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Registered 16 years agoI had issues with photos growing up so social media and parents who post pics often would seem like hell to me if I was growing up now. -
Technoishmatt 5,365 posts
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Registered 7 years agoWaiting for our first to arrive in April .gif)
Will let you know then whether it was the right decision.
I plan to continue to live my life as I want to (gaming, sports, etc), with added bonus of being able to see up close the creativity and elasticity of a child's brain, before they are wrecked into adulthood. Will pay somebody to look after it if necessary
Have managed not to post anything on FB about it.
Edited by Technoishmatt at 20:06:52 01-11-2017 -
THFourteen 54,987 posts
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Registered 16 years agoJamboWayOh wrote:
But come on they’re hilarious!
@THFourteen
I liked you....Not sure now.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10159407097375307&set=a.10151995726215307.880761.517645306&type=3
I’d much rather see food pics than read ANOTHER political diatribe from some one without a clue which seems to be the other option.
Plus you can hide status updates from particular people if they annoy you that badly! -
arty 890 posts
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Registered 16 years agoThank god I don't have facebook.
I hope you ask their permission before you post pictures of them.
I'd FUCKING HATE IT if my parents had plastered my childhood all over the fucking internet. -
THFourteen 54,987 posts
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Registered 16 years agoThat’s life thesedays, need to move with the times, everything is on social media -
Think of the benefits though.
For instance, I haven’t bought deodorant for 2 years - I just steal a scoosh from my son’s extensive collection.
And....also....I’m sure there must be something else, I’ll get back to you.....
.gif)
Will let you know then whether it was the right decision.
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