Not having children in 2017 (and beyond) Page 2

  • JamboWayOh 1 Nov 2017 19:30:58 25,236 posts
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    I've definitely started thinking about kids more since losing a testicle this year. I've become as people say rather broody. It's odd that when I was younger I very keen to have kids, getting into teaching kind of dampened that mood however. It has been weird seeing most of my friends all settle down, get married, have kids and I've been single since last summer after being with someone I wasn't really into but just let it continue. It's definitely made me think hard about not rushing into a relationship, although I really do want to but my confidence has been shot to shit in the past six months


    As most people have said, do what makes you happy I suppose as long as you both agree. I only say this as a friend of mine is having trouble with his wife after she changed her mind after getting married and doesn't want kids now. Obviously he's distraught and she's definitely not a warm kind of person.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 19:34:02 01-11-2017
  • challenge_hanukkah 1 Nov 2017 19:32:02 14,394 posts
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    You can have mine if you like.
  • StixxUK 1 Nov 2017 19:43:01 8,755 posts
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    I'd have kids if I could hand them over to someone else and just hang out with them when they're being fun and cute, and again once they're old enough to look after themselves and not cause any trouble. Other half of 7 years feels the same way.

    So basically I'm in the same boat as OP.

    There's arguments for and against it being a selfish decision either way. Will aim to have decent relationships with nephews, nieces, friends kids. Although quite a few friends seem to be making the same choice.
  • OnlyJoeKing 1 Nov 2017 19:44:37 1,293 posts
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    I have no interest whatsoever in having kids. My girlfriend, however, of getting on maybe 8 years or so, is sadly not of the same persuasion. At one stage I guess we're going to have to deal with it somehow. That'll be fun!

    Suffice to say, I am a bit jealous.
  • elstoof 1 Nov 2017 19:46:38 28,125 posts
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    One of the main perks is getting into the dads club group
  • OnlyJoeKing 1 Nov 2017 19:46:58 1,293 posts
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    You can't really compromise on having a kid either. I had hoped to whip out a puppy at the last possible moment, the old bait & switch, but I'm increasingly doubtful that would cut it.
  • THFourteen 1 Nov 2017 19:48:07 54,987 posts
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    It’s more selfish to have kids when you don’t particularly want them than to not have kids because you think you are being selfish.

    You should (and are) doing what suits you.

    Only thing I’d say is expect your friendship circle to change as you get older and friends with kids start to do various things together and you end up hanging out more with friends who don’t have kids. Don’t take this personally, it’s just a natural thing.
  • richarddavies 1 Nov 2017 19:48:14 8,312 posts
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    OnlyJoeKing wrote:
    I have no interest whatsoever in having kids. My girlfriend, however, of getting on maybe 8 years or so, is sadly not of the same persuasion.
    I would hope she's not thinking about having kids if she's only 8!
  • sport 1 Nov 2017 19:49:01 17,064 posts
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    It's really not that bad guys. I couldn't imagine my life without my 2 little uns.
  • AceGrace 1 Nov 2017 19:50:08 3,464 posts
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    On the flip side I am really glad I have 2 kids. Yes, there is a lot of hassle but when it is good, it is brilliant. Sharing a joke with my 6 year old son or having my 10 year old daughter randomly tell me that I am the best dad in the world can't be beaten. Oh and Christmas is magical again. 😁

    Still, I respect your decision. Kids are not for everyone although I must admit, I have never worried about overpopulation or any world issues. Life is hard enough without worrying about that stuff.

    Edited by AceGrace at 19:52:58 01-11-2017
  • JamboWayOh 1 Nov 2017 19:50:08 25,236 posts
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    THFourteen wrote:
    It’s more selfish to have kids when you don’t particularly want them than to not have kids because you think you are being selfish.

    You should (and are) doing what suits you.

    Only thing I’d say is expect your friendship circle to change as you get older and friends with kids start to do various things together and you end up hanging out more with friends who don’t have kids. Don’t take this personally, it’s just a natural thing.
    Yeah...I've noticed this.

    /cries into pillow
  • shamblemonkee 1 Nov 2017 19:50:24 17,967 posts
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    Your life, your call. End of.

    I think most parents would say that they are envious of those that don't have kids in terms of the freedoms you expressed.

    However, if they're honest i'm sure they'd also say that despite all the graft (and honestly it is simultaneously the best and hardest thing ever) kids in fact open up a whole new world of opportunities and excitement.
  • elstoof 1 Nov 2017 19:52:38 28,125 posts
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    You get to meet loads and loads of bored, unsatisfied yet sexy mums who all want a bit of no strings rough on the side, so there’s that too
  • shamblemonkee 1 Nov 2017 19:52:59 17,967 posts
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    SYS64738 wrote:
    ...them thinking that the world now evolves around them because they decided to make babies.
    Don't take this the wrong way but kids, especially young ones basically make that state of being unavoidable, its not always intentional by the parents, it's just that kiddies take a lot of time and effort and are basically a time and attention blackhole.

    Edited by shamblemonkee at 19:54:15 01-11-2017
  • AceGrace 1 Nov 2017 19:54:42 3,464 posts
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    shamblemonkee wrote:
    Your life, your call. End of.

    I think most parents would say that they are envious of those that don't have kids in terms of the freedoms you expressed.

    However, if they're honest i'm sure they'd also say that despite all the graft (and honestly it is simultaneously the best and hardest thing ever) kids in fact open up a whole new world of opportunities and excitement.
    Wipes. How did I cope before wipes!
  • shamblemonkee 1 Nov 2017 19:55:33 17,967 posts
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    @AceGrace and detailed texts from the other half about poop
  • OnlyJoeKing 1 Nov 2017 19:56:35 1,293 posts
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    A (kidless) mate of mine had an interesting perspective: challenge is a good thing, energising - maybe having a kid could be seen as a new way to invigorate your life? Stop things getting dull.

    Not for me, Clive. Sounds like a right ballache. But of course, each to their own.
  • Fake_Blood 1 Nov 2017 19:58:35 11,093 posts
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    Had the same discussion with my girlfriend about a month ago and basically we ended up talking till 6 in the morning going over all the pro's and con's, in the end we both agreed against getting kids, and getting iphone 10s instead.
  • elstoof 1 Nov 2017 19:59:09 28,125 posts
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    shamblemonkee wrote:
    SYS64738 wrote:
    ...them thinking that the world now evolves around them because they decided to make babies.
    Don't take this the wrong way but kids, especially young ones basically make that state of being unavoidable
    Get to fuck, if you’re that kind of parent then you were that kind of person to start with. If you’re putting endless sickening social media photos of your sprog then you were probably putting pictures to show how in love you and your booboo were in
  • JamboWayOh 1 Nov 2017 19:59:34 25,236 posts
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    If I ever manage to have kids I'll make sure I'm not one of those insufferable people who post an extreme amount of pics of their child as if they were the first person in the world to have a bloody kid.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 20:00:12 01-11-2017
  • shamblemonkee 1 Nov 2017 20:02:15 17,967 posts
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    @elstoof tell me how you REALLY feel .
  • THFourteen 1 Nov 2017 20:03:09 54,987 posts
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    I post pics of my kids on Facebook. It’s not every day but probably one or two per week when they’ve done something funny.

    My reasoning is I don’t mind seeing everyone else’s funny children pics so I imagine they don’t mind mine.

    Having said that I also take pictures of my food.
  • JamboWayOh 1 Nov 2017 20:04:31 25,236 posts
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    @THFourteen

    I liked you....Not sure now.
  • KD 1 Nov 2017 20:06:02 3,575 posts
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    I had issues with photos growing up so social media and parents who post pics often would seem like hell to me if I was growing up now.
  • Technoishmatt 1 Nov 2017 20:06:28 5,365 posts
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    Waiting for our first to arrive in April :) Will let you know then whether it was the right decision.

    I plan to continue to live my life as I want to (gaming, sports, etc), with added bonus of being able to see up close the creativity and elasticity of a child's brain, before they are wrecked into adulthood. Will pay somebody to look after it if necessary :p

    Have managed not to post anything on FB about it.

    Edited by Technoishmatt at 20:06:52 01-11-2017
  • THFourteen 1 Nov 2017 20:12:33 54,987 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:
    @THFourteen

    I liked you....Not sure now.
    But come on they’re hilarious!
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10159407097375307&set=a.10151995726215307.880761.517645306&type=3

    I’d much rather see food pics than read ANOTHER political diatribe from some one without a clue which seems to be the other option.

    Plus you can hide status updates from particular people if they annoy you that badly!
  • arty 1 Nov 2017 20:15:03 890 posts
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    Thank god I don't have facebook.

    I hope you ask their permission before you post pictures of them.

    I'd FUCKING HATE IT if my parents had plastered my childhood all over the fucking internet.
  • THFourteen 1 Nov 2017 20:16:09 54,987 posts
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    That’s life thesedays, need to move with the times, everything is on social media
  • DaM 1 Nov 2017 20:22:38 17,729 posts
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    Think of the benefits though.

    For instance, I haven’t bought deodorant for 2 years - I just steal a scoosh from my son’s extensive collection.

    And....also....I’m sure there must be something else, I’ll get back to you.....
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