Do your politics and friendships often collide?

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  • Mola_Ram 18 Jun 2018 09:24:48 19,049 posts
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    For me, generally no. One of my best friends is quite socially conservative, and even though we argue a lot about stuff, it's more in the spirit of friendly debate. And I think we learn a lot from each other, which is much more difficult when you're always agreeing.

    I do have another friend, though, who regularly interrupts online group chats with shitposting straight from 4chan, derogatory comments about women and "feminists", and general internet drama, culture war bullshit that doesn't have anything to do with the conversation at hand. I've known him for ages and *think* that he's basically a good guy (he never used to be into this shit), but I don't even know that anymore. I don't really want to unfriend someone just for politics, but it's really gone beyond simply disagreeing with him.

    Anyway, I'm not really after advice or anything. But I'm curious to know whether EG people have friends that they mostly disagree with politically, and whether those disagreements have ever threatened the friendship. Is it easy for you to keep those things separate?
  • captain-Snufkin 18 Jun 2018 09:34:06 764 posts
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    Yes, that's why Super Ted stays in the attick, the tory bastard.
  • quadfather 18 Jun 2018 09:37:24 33,548 posts
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    Yup.

    I live in a pretty small village, and the local pub is the hub of the village community, so so you end up 'having' to be around people sometimes.

    It's mainly split into two camps -

    1) People that are normal.

    2) People that are ignorant, racist and homophobic.

    There have been heated (normal) discussions between people in camp 1 amongst themselves, but it's never strained any friendship - just the odd spat here and there.

    But when people from camp 2 get involved, jesus, yes, it can be very venomous.

    It's got to the stage where they are mostly separated and it's just the odd "hello" between camp 1 speaking to camp 2, however, some people refuse to speak to others now.
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 09:38:53 50,549 posts
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    Nah. I generally like to think I can get on with most people. There was this chap I used to sit next to at the Emirates, clearly a hardcore BNP voting type, turned to me at half time the first game I sat next to him and said “Vik mate what do you do at half time?”

    I was like “eh?”

    And he says “well you can’t drink innit”

    Took me a few seconds to realise that he meant because I was beardy and brown.

    But actually he was a hilarious guy and well meaning and I am in no position to hold his upbringing or personal situation against him in terms of his political beliefs. We shared a few pints over the first couple of years

    Until he moved away to a cheaper seat. Probably because of the browns.

    Edited by THFourteen at 09:39:10 18-06-2018
  • Psiloc 18 Jun 2018 09:40:46 4,926 posts
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    Sounds like your friend took the red pill. @M_R

    Now that I think about it, no, even as different social circles have come and gone over the years, I've always found myself with friends who have the same political views. The closest I can remember to an opposing voice was a girl who voted Tory because "the country's going down the dogs". It could never turn into a debate though because she didn't have a fucking clue about anything

    Edited by Psiloc at 09:42:31 18-06-2018
  • ZuluHero 18 Jun 2018 09:45:55 6,904 posts
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    Never discuss Politics or Religion. Even on here.
  • mothercruncher 18 Jun 2018 09:53:31 15,657 posts
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    That’s what a Buddhist Fenian bastard would say.
  • nickthegun 18 Jun 2018 09:55:24 76,131 posts
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    Apart from having your typical racist, Tory dad, I've also got a super right wing cousin.

    He's in his early 30s and is a really nice guy. He would do anything for anyone. But hes also a plumber and holds the most stereotypical tradesmen political views you can get.

    He comes from a part of the country where the only brown face you ever see is on TV and benefits from EU regeneration miney, but he's constantly sharing anti-corbyn and pro-hard brexit memes and all that poorly disguised LIKE AND SHARE IF U LUV BRITAIN from pages that offer Knights Templar t-shirts.

    I do have a poke at him now and again for sharing stuff aimed at racist grandmas but, again rather stereotypically, if you avoid politics he's alright.

    In fact, he's the exact kind of person who would end up on a 'now I've actually met a polish plumber, I think they are alright' documentary.

    Edited by nickthegun at 09:56:06 18-06-2018
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Jun 2018 10:06:33 4,253 posts
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    I'm a social networking enigma which helps me avoid the lion's share of this grief.

    My dad was a bit of a right-wingnut. But he's dead so let that be a lesson to all of them
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Jun 2018 10:08:28 4,253 posts
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    Football though is definitely where my politics and that of the average fan collide though. Particularly following a provincial team which doesn't have much in the way of local immigration
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 10:13:01 50,549 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Football though is definitely where my politics and that of the average fan collide though. Particularly following a provincial team which doesn't have much in the way of local immigration
    Real football fans follow provincial teams amiritelads
  • Mola_Ram 18 Jun 2018 10:20:46 19,049 posts
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    Psiloc wrote:
    Sounds like your friend took the red pill. @M_R
    Yeah... he's a pretty normal-sounding techbro when I talk with him in real life, but online it's all shitpost, almost all the time. And I tried to excuse it for a while by saying to myself that he was just joking or being ironic or something, but he's started talking about The Left now and uncritically repeating all the talking points about how terrible they all are.

    I think he's one of those people who was really hardcore about one side of politics, and then had a falling out and decided that the extreme opposite must therefore be correct.

    Edited by Mola_Ram at 10:21:44 18-06-2018
  • quadfather 18 Jun 2018 10:23:15 33,548 posts
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    When I hear the bleatings at the pub, I haven't got the energy anymore and just move away. Can't be arsed with it.
  • JoelStinty 18 Jun 2018 10:23:42 7,108 posts
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    Most of my friends share similar liberal views, work and village life is a bit harder and i have to bite my lip now and then, but i put that down to age and just how some people have been brought up but all in all they're nice people. You can debate with them, and let things go if things to get a bit heated.

    I did have one friend who seemingly fell down the rabbit hole of internet shittery though. He was staunch Ukip, so the lead up to the EU referendum ignited quite a lot of debates, the problem was that he took it all personally. He packed up his bags, moved away and deleted a fair few of us of Facebook. But even now looking on his Facebook (its all public) it just full of nationalistic and notmylukeskywalker/disneyruinedstarwars/waawaablackpanther shite.

    Which is sad really, as you say , he was never like that growing up, he was well liked and thought of, but he turned out to be a wrong un. But i do wish i could hang out with him now and then for a pint, he was good friend growing up. But then do you want to be friends with such people? Fuck knows what he really thinks and is withholding back from posting.
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 10:25:28 50,549 posts
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    JoelStinty wrote: but he turned out to be a wrong un.
    He's not a wrongun. Its not like he's an axe murderer or wife beater or whatever. He just thinks differently to you, for whatever reason, something's triggered it.
  • ZuluHero 18 Jun 2018 10:25:33 6,904 posts
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    Has anyone else noticed a correlation with extreme far right views and other crackpot theories like flat earth and moon-landing conspiracy?
  • quadfather 18 Jun 2018 10:29:04 33,548 posts
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    ZuluHero wrote:
    Has anyone else noticed a correlation with extreme far right views and other crackpot theories like flat earth and moon-landing conspiracy?
    Normally linked via the daily mail
  • JoelStinty 18 Jun 2018 10:36:13 7,108 posts
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    THFourteen wrote:
    JoelStinty wrote: but he turned out to be a wrong un.
    He's not a wrongun. Its not like he's an axe murderer or wife beater or whatever. He just thinks differently to you, for whatever reason, something's triggered it.
    Yeah thats fair. But it was a stark change to how he used to be, or either i didn't know him as well as i thought i did. I do wonder whether the friend group that we had was the trigger, i mean it got to the point it was all vs him, and a couple of people in the group were, although nice people, toxic in how they dealt with it as well. Though that was only towards the end. We went through years of reasoned debated with him but there was never a budge of movement in his mindset or views, only seemingly to get worse over time. I guess people felt conflicted or confused by him.
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 10:40:05 50,549 posts
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    @JoelStinty

    I fell out with a uni friend for similar reasons. He used to treat women badly. I don't mean physical or verbal abuse, but going out of his way to pull married women, showing off pictures of his current fling to all and sundry like some sort of trophy, cheating on them, then getting all upset when they dumped him... i just couldnt cope and continue pretending to be on his side especially when he just wouldn't listen.

    His dad left him at a young age and now at 60+ has a 25yr old girlfriend. So i can understand why he is the way he is. He still idolises him to this day.

    Edited by THFourteen at 10:40:14 18-06-2018
  • whatfruitlivesagain 18 Jun 2018 10:46:32 1,479 posts
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    My missus once met Nigel Farage at a UKIP party conference. I still love her though.
  • KnuttinAtoll 18 Jun 2018 10:46:43 6,488 posts
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    ZuluHero wrote:
    Never discuss Politics or Religion.
    At work or within families a good rule to stick to as you can't choose either.

    Friends on the other hand - discussing these topics can help filtering out the riff raff. Life is too short to spend your free time with people that hold unpleasant views.
  • captain-Snufkin 18 Jun 2018 10:56:58 764 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Jyzzy-Z 18 Jun 2018 10:57:09 3,713 posts
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    One of my mates, admittedly a black sheep for lots of reasons, is a bit UKIP. He had a bulldog/union jack tattoo on his calf, which he has since had lasered off.

    He and a few other guys came to visit me, we went out and got pissed up, next morning went for a bacon sandwich at a local cafe.

    His sandwich took ages to arrive as the member of staff was wrestling with some stupid new contactless card/till. As he was Portuguese, my mate started going on about how Brexit was a good thing because this guy couldn't make his bacon sandwich quick enough. He supported Brexit obviously, none of the rest of us do. I told him to fuck off and laughed at him which he didn't like.

    I found out he didn't even vote. But that really gave me an insight into why people wanted to leave. It's because English people make bacon sarnies quicker.
  • simpleexplodingmaybe 18 Jun 2018 11:01:15 8,751 posts
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    I don't know any people who'll go off on UKIPy rants and the fe Tories I know it doesn't really come up. If anything it's more the vanity of small differences on the left that stand out. Like not thinking Corbyn is the actual Jesus who will solve all our problems and never says a wrong thing.

    People are very precious about that kind of thing even if we agree in principle over what the problems and issues are.

    Partisan blindness is frustrating.
  • Frogofdoom 18 Jun 2018 11:03:35 11,207 posts
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    Careful with this thread, I can feel it's presence. At the moment it's reading but not writing but it won't take much.
  • quadfather 18 Jun 2018 11:04:35 33,548 posts
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    @Frogofdoom

    :D
  • BillMurray 18 Jun 2018 11:12:05 9,367 posts
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    My friends and family are pretty much all fairly left leaning. Think most of my immediate family are Green Party members, come to think of it.
  • HelloNo 18 Jun 2018 11:18:32 2,072 posts
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    I'm a bit SJW-y for most people I think, that said I'm also a bit of a coward who'll keep quiet for an easy life.
  • Phattso 18 Jun 2018 11:20:40 24,278 posts
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    I have a lot of friends with dramatically different political views to me. Really the only way to get around it is not to talk about those views when pissed, and whenever they spout right wing horseshit or misogynistic wankery I just liken them to a 70s comedian with shit hair and it takes the wind out of their sails long enough to get the next round in.

    Family is tougher. I almost certainly see less of my Dad as I can't be fucked with listening to it. He's ex forces, which he believes basically gives him full right to decide the best direction for the country and the fate of all the brown people. Since the only other option is to pretend that I don't have a Dad, I generally just make my peace with it and accept it's not going to change.
  • nickthegun 18 Jun 2018 11:23:10 76,131 posts
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    I think it's also important to draw a distinction between 'right wing' and 'wanker', because I think too many people allow themselves and other people to hide abhorrent views behind politics.

    I've not really got a huge problem with 'let the markets sort it out' and 'small government' as an ideology but 'send then all back' and 'she was born a woman, she's a woman' is just wankerish.

    Edited by nickthegun at 11:24:07 18-06-2018
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