Do your politics and friendships often collide? Page 3

  • beastmaster 18 Jun 2018 13:49:12 19,223 posts
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    Differing opinions. Never a problem.
  • KD 18 Jun 2018 13:55:56 2,085 posts
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    A few things have been mentioned when friends over or at family gatherings since the brexit stuff started,, as soon as I hear something I don't like that's imo small minded racist crap I'm normally game to argue it over or bluntly tell the person to shut up and stop talking shit.

    Had a friend say they living as opposite sex a couple years ago and the reactions and comments off some I know is just sad, having to bring up that's it's either as it is now or we would have all been at a funeral because the other choice was suicide normally wakes them up a bit.

    Hearing how the female agenda was wrecking Star Wars last xmas day was kinda special, the person who did is know expecting a daughter as first child so I'll be reminding them of that in a few years, tbh I blame the construction site idiots he works with and the shit he reads online.
  • JoelStinty 18 Jun 2018 14:00:28 7,840 posts
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    Rivuzu wrote:
    I watched my mum go from left-wing, Labour voting, greater good type to extreme right-wing, UKIP voting, get out of my country johnny foreigner once she got married.

    .
    I think this is probably more common than people think. I seen it happen to a friend/colleague at uni and a couple of people in general life. They've always been outspoken angry/vocal people, and to be fair from backgrounds that you would be. When you actually think about it, it no surprise to see there are correlations between both view points. They're a lot closer than people initially realise.
  • quadfather 18 Jun 2018 14:09:48 34,450 posts
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    Rivuzu wrote:
    Is it one of those lovely picturesque villages, or is it more of a "I am my own grandma" incestuous places where everyone has six toes, a cousin-wife, and people playing banjos at passers by?
    It's actually a picturesque place surrounded by woodland, rivers, etc. It's the daily mail readers that fuck it up.

    Buxton - you're thinking of Buxton.
  • drhickman1983 18 Jun 2018 14:21:03 5,905 posts
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    I wouldn't say it happens often, but I did find myself slightly lost for words when I found out one of my close friends, albeit one who I don't see all that often, voted for Brexit. She's actually quite intelligent and fairly central politically. We talked about it though and we're very much still friends.

    Another close friend of mine gets into conspiracy theories and seems willing to believe anything that isn't "mainstream media", and he's often stated that Assad or Putin actually aren't that bad, and it's just western media portraying them that way. I try to make counterpoints, but after a while normally just walk away, I don't care enough to lose a good friend over.

    Some of my family are, well, a bit tabloidy, and a bit too keen to buy into the nationalistic bullshit. If something particularly irks me I'll raise the point but it's not something that comes up that often.
  • DrStrangelove 18 Jun 2018 17:14:11 14,079 posts
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    My oldest friend--known him since birth, basically--emoquit our friendship after I repeatedly told him I don't want to discuss "subjugation feminism" because I've had those discussions before and nothing good ever came of them. I could see where this was going and basically tried to just keep politics out of our relationship (I used to tolerate his misogynist attitude before), but he couldn't let go until he lost his patience, asked what had become of the old DrStrangelove, said I'd become a very shallow human, removed me from his Facebook friends list before I could reply and that was it.

    But politics were just the trigger here, the underlying problems were much deeper and the situation just revealed that we'd been dissatisfied with each other for a long time and apparently there was little interest in keeping it up on both sides. It's better this way.

    Other than that, I've got no issues in this regard really, some of my friends have pretty radical leftist ideas but we get along very well nonetheless.

    I don't have a great problem with that, or with decent conservative people, it's racist/fascist shit where I draw the line. I've worked together with people who had neo-nazi attitudes, I keep work relationship with them as low as possible and otherwise completely avoid them. These people disgust me. I don't have any racist friends, and if I had, I wouldn't have them anymore.

    I wonder if I could keep friendships with Trumpists if I was American, and I find it difficult to believe I would. So yes, certain political differences can definitely end a friendship for me.
  • Boriska 18 Jun 2018 17:24:19 829 posts
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    I'm the parent of a disabled child, right wing people vote to make her life worse, and it has got worse over the last 5 years. I find it hard to ignore that. Thankfully nearly all of my childhood friends have turned out to be normal and could probably be labelled centre-left or liberal.
  • You-can-call-me-kal 18 Jun 2018 17:24:30 15,724 posts
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    The subject of Israel is probably the one that has most strained some of my relationships, particularly as I have family and friends who have gone to live there. Once you're there you seem to gain a very different perspective on the whole thing, which is understandable, but nevertheless it's resulted in some views that are so extreme it makes me feel they're people I can't connect with any more.

    Beyond that I am quietly disgusted with a certain Conservative voting member of my close family but I do my best just not to talk politics with them.
  • EMarkM 18 Jun 2018 17:57:36 4,480 posts
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    I think I've said it on the forum here before: I rarely discuss politics or views of almost any kind with anyone, as I find that, no matter how close people are to me, their views tend to clash with mine.

    Briefly, I'm the most liberal person I know, from a non-racist, non-homophobic, etc., etc. point of view. I don't really believe in artificial boundaries and borders, and am sometimes heard to say, "we live on just one tiny ball of rock, we're all in it together."

    An overly-simplistic view, I'm sure, but patriotism based simply on where one's mother was when one was born just riles me somehow!
  • ZuluHero 18 Jun 2018 18:10:53 7,396 posts
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    I kind of agree with that. I've been reading some of the testimonies and thinking about this since posting in here this morning, but I really struggle to think if I even know the political leanings of my friends and family at all.

    Generally if people start to engage with me about anything relating to politics (and religion, as I said earlier) either friends or strangers, I just politely say that I don't really want to discuss it. Most people I know now know me well enough to not even start.

    It might make me seem a bit blank, but I do find it to be a lot less stressful (people get really really het up) and to be honest I would really hate it if I lost friendships, such as the one story about losing a long-term childhood friend, or even family, such as that other story about not keeping in touch with their mum.
  • Technoishmatt 18 Jun 2018 18:11:49 3,394 posts
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    My friends actually very rarely discuss politics - but they are all pretty centrist. I have some acquaintances more on the activist side of things (including some that have run for election, on left and right, and some that are elected officials), but that is about it.

    One of my main hobbies is martial arts - and there is definitely a heavy slant towards right-wing / military & police worship here in the US in that community, at least in the ones that talk politics (many do not).

    I have never been very engaged in politics or issues myself, and in my job I am required to be completely unbiased and impartial (I barely vote). But I can't handle the bullshit conspiracy theories that are increasingly infecting parties that tend towards the right. (You've got some bullshit on the left side, and the Canary etc , but it is weak sauce compared to Breitbart etc). I am finding it increasingly hard to trust the judgement of people captivated by it.

    On family - politics also never really come up. However, mother-in-law's new husband (evangelical), keeps bringing up abortion for no reason, and has hinted he doesn't believe in evolution or climate change. (as a lobbyist for an energy company, big surprise). Issue he is unlikely to make any friends on in our household.

    Edited by Technoishmatt at 18:13:38 18-06-2018
  • docrob 18 Jun 2018 18:34:14 1,167 posts
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    Iím lucky that I only know one or two Brexiteers, and none in my family. That really could be awkward.

    The whole Scottish Indy issue gets problematic as Scotland is divided roughly 50-50. My family were all for Yes in the end (as am I, though I didnít get a vote as no longer lived there) but my wifeís family split right down the middle and things were a bit strained for a while.

    Oh, and my cousin married a minister, who is normally lovely but has been known to post some homophobic and anti-abortion stuff on FB. This is less of a problem than it might be because he tends to get owned by the entire rest of the family when he does, and then goes quiet for a while.

    Edited by docrob at 18:36:38 18-06-2018
  • Rogueywon Most Generous Forumite, 2016 18 Jun 2018 18:37:33 5,825 posts
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    Do people want a serious response from me on this one, or is it just going to descend into a dramafest?
  • Your-Mother 18 Jun 2018 18:38:22 2,764 posts
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    Why do you hate foxes :(
  • FWB 18 Jun 2018 18:46:23 55,904 posts
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    Probably in a bit of an eco-chamber with mates. Either cos they aren't really interested or they are relatively liberal. Family... mum and dad liberal, sister... fuck knows. She gets moody (about politics) and bans any talk of it around her. Don't think she engages unless it's to fuck up voting reform. I could see her voting Conservative.

    Teaching politics helps though, as I do get some variety and I have to remain neutral allowing everyone to express themselves.

    Edited by FWB at 18:47:09 18-06-2018
  • Boriska 18 Jun 2018 18:56:04 829 posts
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    Actually, my brother voted Brexit and is a Christian. I disagree with him on lots of important stuff but he is a nice man and is still normal enough to see the Tories/Republicans for what they are.
  • bladdard 18 Jun 2018 18:57:34 1,381 posts
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    Since Brexit I've subsequently found half of my family and in laws are either misogynists or complete bracists who feel they can say extremely racist and offensive things openly. Anyone offended by them are snowflakes. These are my in laws, my wife's sister, my sisters partner, my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Before Brexit I thought they were all decent people but now I find myself appalled by the things they say and their opinions but most of all annoyed that they feel empowered, and it's somehow ok to air them publicly.

    Edited by bladdard at 18:59:42 18-06-2018
  • FWB 18 Jun 2018 19:07:44 55,904 posts
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    Nothing new. That's people for you.
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 19:45:09 51,930 posts
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    bladdard wrote:I thought they were all decent people but now I find myself appalled by the things they say and their opinions but most of all annoyed that they feel empowered, and it's somehow ok to air them publicly.
    They are all still decent people.

    It's you that has the problem

    (I don't mean that in a nasty way, please don't take it in one! its just a general point when i see posts like this, gets triggered.)
  • disusedgenius 18 Jun 2018 20:04:39 9,778 posts
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    They're probably not though, let's face it.
  • challenge_hanukkah 18 Jun 2018 20:07:23 10,712 posts
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    THFourteen is worried that he isn't good people.

    He isn't. The Guardian told me.
  • THFourteen 18 Jun 2018 20:11:25 51,930 posts
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    All i'm saying is, everyone has to coexist in this existence.

    Everywhere i look i see people seething with unhappiness and most of it is avoidable. Just some empathy as to why people are the way they are (even if you dont agree with it) would make you all happier.

    I mean i don't hold the rampant guardian reading against any of you (i just secretly look down upon you)
  • DrStrangelove 18 Jun 2018 20:44:58 14,079 posts
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    THFourteen wrote:
    Just some empathy as to why people are the way they are (even if you dont agree with it) would make you all happier.
    I'm all for it, but I can't get to grips with people who deny others that. You deny empathy, you don't get empathy, end of story. May be my personal tit for tat attitude though.
  • fontgeeksogood 18 Jun 2018 21:23:52 6,043 posts
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    KD wrote:

    Hearing how the female agenda was wrecking Star Wars last xmas day was kinda special, the person who did is know expecting a daughter as first child so I'll be reminding them of that in a few years, tbh I blame the construction site idiots he works with and the shit he reads online.
    TBH if he's working on the Death Star he has every right to grind an axe
  • bladdard 18 Jun 2018 21:28:23 1,381 posts
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    THFourteen wrote:
    All i'm saying is, everyone has to coexist in this existence.

    Everywhere i look i see people seething with unhappiness and most of it is avoidable. Just some empathy as to why people are the way they are (even if you dont agree with it) would make you all happier.

    I mean i don't hold the rampant guardian reading against any of you (i just secretly look down upon you)
    I'm pleased they've showed their true colours, it's saved me a fortune in greetings cards.
  • JamboWayOh 18 Jun 2018 21:30:27 13,130 posts
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    Thfourteen thinks there are some very fine nazis, and there was violence on both sides.

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 21:37:02 18-06-2018
  • warlockuk 19 Jun 2018 09:48:18 19,491 posts
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    quadfather wrote:
    Rivuzu wrote:
    Is it one of those lovely picturesque villages, or is it more of a "I am my own grandma" incestuous places where everyone has six toes, a cousin-wife, and people playing banjos at passers by?
    It's actually a picturesque place surrounded by woodland, rivers, etc. It's the daily mail readers that fuck it up.

    Buxton - you're thinking of Buxton.
    I love Buxton. Great place, they always treat new DNA passing through town like royalty.
  • quadfather 19 Jun 2018 10:14:41 34,450 posts
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    @warlockuk

    Don't drink the water.
  • warlockuk 20 Jun 2018 08:53:56 19,491 posts
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    @quadfather but how will I get those awesome b-list super powers? What is a life without tentacles?
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