Work related fuck ups

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  • Dirtbox 2 Jul 2018 09:03:48 91,097 posts
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    Time for a proper thread, we haven't had a good one for years.

    Let's have your worst/best fuck up at work, or at least the one that sticks in your craw.

    Mine is bland as shit, but it cost a million dollars to fix. I recommended a customer get spot UV varnish* on facing pages in a fancy book, but because he was an uncontractible cunt and couldn't finalise some changes in time, meant we had to wait until the very last moment to print. Those pages all stuck together because the varnish didn't have time to dry.

    *UV varnish makes areas on matt paper look like a glossy magazine cover with nice colours and stuff.

    Edited by Dirtbox at 09:16:24 02-07-2018
  • challenge_hanukkah 2 Jul 2018 09:06:21 10,730 posts
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    Start us off thread starter.

    Edit: *gargles*

    Edited by challenge_hanukkah at 09:06:51 02-07-2018
  • richarddavies 2 Jul 2018 09:28:24 6,708 posts
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    Hmm, nothing major thankfully up to now. Work in industrial doors now (exciting I know) and have ordered a couple of doors wrong for customers. They cost a few grand.

    I remember as a teenager I worked at Bellevue dog track putting the dogs in the boxes before the race. The track manager there at the time was a big gambler and before one of the races he pulled me up and said he'd like me to put a particular dog in the box for him and look after it. He'd put £500 on it to win the race and he had a little hunch that it would win (I just assumed it was fixed as fuck)

    Came to race time and did as I was told, only as I was putting the dog in the box and was closing the box up I accidentally caught the dogs tail. It gave out a little yelp so I quickly uncaught the tail and shut the lid.

    When the hare went past and the race started, all the other dogs took off but this one just stayed in the box for about 5, painfully long seconds then took off behind the rest. I looked over at the manager to visibly see the colour drain from his face. I never told him what happened though.
  • Salaman 2 Jul 2018 09:29:17 23,614 posts
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    One of my first jobs after studying was in the European marketing team of a car manufacturer. I replaced a lady who was on maternity leave, had a very short handover period and was dropped into the tail end of a very busy period ahead a of 3 new models being launched across Europe.

    I dove in and it was busy but fun.

    Pre-production cars were shipped from Japan to Europe to be used for photoshoots for the brochures, motor shows, etc.

    At some point we had a 3 day photoshoot in Nice and literally the day before, I realised I forgot to arrange transport for the car to Nice. The photographer with his crew were going to sit around twiddling their thumbs while the car was being transported down there.

    I was a bit nervous when I went to fess up to my manager that I made a mistake. He asked how much we were paying per photo shoot day, which was 10.000 euro. Shrugged, made a dismissive waving gesture with his hand and said. "Ah, it's only ten thousand. Don't worry about it", so all was well but it stuck with me as it was probably the first time I experienced that "OH shit, I fucked up! moment at work.
  • captbirdseye 2 Jul 2018 09:36:15 9,120 posts
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    I work in Brexit policy.

    /thread win.
  • challenge_hanukkah 2 Jul 2018 09:36:52 10,730 posts
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    I was solely responsible for the financial crash of 2008.
  • elstoof 2 Jul 2018 09:40:41 23,159 posts
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    Hi Jerome
  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 09:45:15 89,138 posts
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    captbirdseye wrote:
    I work in Brexit policy.

    /thread win.
    You're not under 30, surely?
  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 09:45:56 89,138 posts
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    I once called my boss a cunt. In an email. Which I then sent to him by mistake. That was a very uncomfortable night until I sorted it.
  • challenge_hanukkah 2 Jul 2018 09:47:09 10,730 posts
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    How did you sort it?
  • You-can-call-me-kal 2 Jul 2018 09:47:51 15,733 posts
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    I once accidentally spent a decade of my career chatting shit on a gaming forum.
  • captbirdseye 2 Jul 2018 09:49:17 9,120 posts
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    @Dougs I will probably look 330 by the time I'm finished.
  • Graxlar_v3 2 Jul 2018 09:49:29 6,726 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    How did you sort it?
    I imagine a blow job
  • monkman76 2 Jul 2018 09:58:34 14,716 posts
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    I once forwarded an email from a particularly humourless American director of IT, inviting the department to some videoconference or other, to a mate, asking "do we have to go to this bagoshite?" Except I hit Reply instead of Forward. That was an uncomfortable conversation in his office, just a couple of months into my new job. At least I taught him some of the local vernacular.
  • Deleted user 2 July 2018 10:00:59
    Nothing too bad for me.

    I once missed a where clause in my SQL update and ended up updating our company intranet contact directory with the same person for each profile.

    Even further back in my bricklaying years I killed a dog with a lump hammer and built his carcass into a cavity wall.
  • Tricky 2 Jul 2018 10:04:55 4,905 posts
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    Graxlar_v3 wrote:
    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    How did you sort it?
    I imagine a blow job
    I'm imagining something along the lines of the server room infiltration in the first Mission Impossible film.
  • monkman76 2 Jul 2018 10:06:02 14,716 posts
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    Yeah, no way did his boss actually read the email.

    Which makes my story betterer :p
  • Fake_Blood 2 Jul 2018 10:06:44 9,491 posts
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    We make blood analysers, colleage inverted two optical fibers. 7 people got some very bad news that week that were perfectly healthy. They found out because someone with 3 months to live made a miraculous recovery according to our test.
  • thelzdking 2 Jul 2018 10:07:13 9,355 posts
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    I once deleted all of the records for Caistor or something. Easy to fix as it was all backed up, but it took hours and it was a dumb mistake in the first place.
  • Psiloc 2 Jul 2018 10:10:04 5,067 posts
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    monkman76 wrote:
    I once forwarded an email from a particularly humourless American director of IT, inviting the department to some videoconference or other, to a mate, asking "do we have to go to this bagoshite?" Except I hit Reply instead of Forward. That was an uncomfortable conversation in his office, just a couple of months into my new job. At least I taught him some of the local vernacular.
    Heh, I find it very difficult to talk to Americans in a work context. In general they’re too fucking nice, and it throws me considering how British people just want the call finished as quickly as possible with zero fucking around.

    For example, I have no idea what the correct response is when you ask somebody how they’re doing, and instead of “fine, thanks, you?” they answer “living the dream!”

    “Not too bad tha... oh, I mean, erm, I’m living the dream... also?”
  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 10:15:26 89,138 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    How did you sort it?
    I got in very early and waited for him to arrive, then said i'd sent a personal email to him by mistake and could I delete it from his system. He remarkably agreed and let me sort it whilst he got a cuppa. Still gives me cold sweats occasionally.
  • monkman76 2 Jul 2018 10:16:28 14,716 posts
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    Not that much of a cunt then eh Dougs ;)
  • sport 2 Jul 2018 10:17:48 14,980 posts
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    Boss obviously has a crush on Dougs. Wouldn't have allowed that otherwise.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 2 Jul 2018 10:18:55 19,737 posts
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    I once broke Paddy Ashdown's PC. I also sent this picture to every single employee of BT from CEO down to the lowliest grunt. I also sent the words "Bill Gates gave me AIDS" to an entire building of people.

  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 10:19:00 89,138 posts
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    In hindsight, perhaps not. He was nice but a bit dim. He'd just irritated me - I think by asking why I wasn't wearing a tie for a stakeholder meeting that I didn't know I was having until that moment, he didn't put it my diary!
  • sport 2 Jul 2018 10:21:11 14,980 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    he didn't put it my diary!
    Oh so now he's supposed to be your glorified PA?!?
  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 10:22:01 89,138 posts
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    If he wanted me to go a meeting he arranged, hell yeah!
  • beastmaster 2 Jul 2018 10:38:20 19,223 posts
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    Nothing too bad. Bought down one of the test servers. One of my first attempts at writing shell script on a UNIX box. Decided to run it at 5:30 before I went home.

    Thing kept respawing itself and ate up all the CPU resource and filled up the hard drive. Oops!
  • askew 2 Jul 2018 10:49:15 19,094 posts
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    Addyb_V2 wrote:
    Even further back in my bricklaying years I killed a dog with a lump hammer and built his carcass into a cavity wall.
    'Dog' - pull the other one, Fred.
  • challenge_hanukkah 2 Jul 2018 10:54:56 10,730 posts
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    It's what they call prostitutes in Lancs.
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