Work related fuck ups Page 2

  • Deleted user 2 July 2018 11:05:28
    Also known as FFS in my town. (Farington Fuck Services)
  • Load_2.0 2 Jul 2018 11:23:16 29,327 posts
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    Too many to list. In fact I would say I make a fuck up of note at least once a month.

    Most I don't want to relive.

    However I remember my Boss telling me not to be late in the next day after the work Christmas party.

    At around 6am with that warning ringing in my ears I thought I would heed that advice (I had been at a gay club with the two biggest party boys and a couple of fit female receptionists) so I nabbed one of the receptionists (sucker she should have called in sick) caught a taxi to work, babbled incoherently at security until they let me in and slept one the visitor couches for a couple hours.

    Unfortunately those few hours were not sufficient to allow me to sober up and I spent from 9am till midday shouting replies at everyone at an unreasonable volume instead of emailing them. My irrational cackling and fact I stunk of booze and cigarettes also didn't help.

    Fortunately my boss and I were pals and she found my hideously inappropriate behavior mildly amusing.

    This was also the first time I learnt about dark rooms. I thought the lighting was out because there was going to be some sort of laser show. Not a load of chaps getting off.
  • SolidSCB 2 Jul 2018 12:15:35 11,094 posts
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    Heh, Spot UV's, the bane of my life.

    Designed a calendar last year for a pretty big and well known Motorsport team. Being a massive enthusiast I really went the extra mile and ended up with something I and the customer was very happy with.

    Until it became apparent that the entire print run had been done using 2017's dates, instead of 2018's. As I do a lot of calendar work towards the back end of the year I set up templates with the dates on to save myself some time, and in my infinite wisdom I hadn't archived the old InDesign file and opened it by accident.

    A lot of money went down the toilet that day. It's really the only fuckup I've made on a massive scale, and it managed to go through 3 phases of proofing on all sides without being picked up on. What a bellend I felt.
  • OnlyJoeKing 2 Jul 2018 12:52:18 906 posts
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    Not a particularly catastrophic fuck up, but I couldn't find the dishwasher tablets one lunchtime so being an idiot I just sloshed some washing up liquid in there.


    Don't do that. It doesn't end well.
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 14:21:45 6,052 posts
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    How to condense a few decades of mostly fuck-ups into just three:

    1) accidentally knocked out one of the door staff at a club I was working at (no bread bins involved, I was showing him something cool I learned when I traned UFC and I apparently have a depth perception problem). I've never apologised as much in my life
    2) misread what were, in hindsight, quite obvious signs of interest from a senior manager, didn't shut it down, let it get worse because of my total lack of guts and it got Awkward and a bit Emotional
    3) shit my pants in a meeting - didn't even have the wherewithal to say "Ohhh, good one guys!" and play it off like someone was pranking me
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 14:28:12 6,052 posts
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    Well, yes I shouldn't necessarily throw shitty stones, but in my defense I did have glandular fever (undiagnosed until later in the week. I'm pretty much the Bravest Soldier Ever)
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 2 Jul 2018 14:29:42 19,737 posts
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    Glandular fever doesn't make you shit your pants does it?
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 14:31:57 6,052 posts
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    It made me shit water with what looked like tobacco floating in it, sometimes during my sleep.

    Unrecomeded
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 2 Jul 2018 14:32:36 19,737 posts
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    Was it a water shit when you shit your pants?
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 14:37:10 6,052 posts
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    You know, I believe it was
  • DaM 2 Jul 2018 14:37:43 17,323 posts
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    SolidSCB wrote:
    Heh, Spot UV's, the bane of my life.

    Designed a calendar last year for a pretty big and well known Motorsport team. Being a massive enthusiast I really went the extra mile and ended up with something I and the customer was very happy with.

    Until it became apparent that the entire print run had been done using 2017's dates, instead of 2018's. As I do a lot of calendar work towards the back end of the year I set up templates with the dates on to save myself some time, and in my infinite wisdom I hadn't archived the old InDesign file and opened it by accident.

    A lot of money went down the toilet that day. It's really the only fuckup I've made on a massive scale, and it managed to go through 3 phases of proofing on all sides without being picked up on. What a bellend I felt.
    We were doing some calendar mousemats for someone, and they weren't happy with the design. Took a bit of to-ing and fro-ing to realise that it was the calendar they weren't happy with. They wanted every month to start on a Monday, and for every month to have the same number of days to "make it look nicer".
  • Dougs 2 Jul 2018 14:39:22 89,138 posts
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    :D
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 14:42:07 6,052 posts
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    @DaM you could easily have accommodated this had you adopted Decembuary as the new 13th month, which I have been campaigning for tirelessly since 1993
  • Gibroon 2 Jul 2018 14:44:50 2,132 posts
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    Doing some testing on some electronics at work, something I've done many times before, I switched on the power supply. Smoke rose up from one of the boards, fried component. Got the positive and negative round the wrong way even after double checking. Doh!
  • neilka 2 Jul 2018 14:53:41 22,534 posts
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    Attempted to sell fitted kitchens to a forum of people who subsist on Dorito dust.
  • StrayBezza 2 Jul 2018 14:57:05 1,191 posts
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    Used to run pubs with my wife.....one evening I had my back turned to the pumps sorting out the till or something. Upon finishing I went to exit the bar area but not before giving a double handed twin arse cheek squeeze to my other half who had been busy serving customers....problem being that she had already left the bar as the part time barmaid had arrived and just started her shift....
  • challenge_hanukkah 2 Jul 2018 15:03:12 10,730 posts
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    Did she come?
  • neilka 2 Jul 2018 15:05:44 22,534 posts
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    Did Trigger do a face?
  • StrayBezza 2 Jul 2018 15:10:33 1,191 posts
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    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    Did she come?
    They both did. During the lock in after hours.
  • mrpon 2 Jul 2018 15:57:06 35,211 posts
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    Username checks out.
  • Load_2.0 2 Jul 2018 16:27:29 29,327 posts
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    StrayBezza wrote:
    I had my back turned to the pumps
    Not for long.
  • RyanDS 2 Jul 2018 17:15:07 12,745 posts
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    I was running a bar in Bournemouth around 10 years ago, hot summers day, lots of families and I was continuously shooing kids out of the bar area where they weren't allowed.

    Just after kicking out the last batch I saw another head from behind just visible over the counter. I leaned forward and sharply said "I just told you no kids allowed, get out!"

    At which point they turned around only to see it was a 40 year old midget who just stared at me. The guy she was with just said "Dude! That is harsh" before walking her out. I don't think I have ever felt like that much of a cunt before or since.
  • fontgeeksogood 2 Jul 2018 17:21:43 6,052 posts
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    Site Search is fucked but there's some story I think by someone here years ago when they were working at a university in IT support (natch) and they were under a desk dealing with some cables or whatever shit you nerds do, and he heard someone having, uh, significant difficulty expressing themselves and just making a noise rather than talking normally, and, being the wag, he assumed it was one of the IT students being a nerd so said, from under the desk

    "Whoa, easy Chewie"

    Then got up from the desk to see it was a special needs student
  • RawShark 2 Jul 2018 17:25:46 573 posts
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    I caused a fire by burning bagels. Twice.

    In my defence the toaster was one of those conveyor belt ones and it was a piece of shit.

    Amazingly, the one time I did almost get fired was for something as microscopically inconsequential as sending out an email with the wrong air date for a new series of Top Gear. Not one person gave a shit and yet I was dragged over hot coals for it.
  • ZuluHero 2 Jul 2018 21:51:06 7,397 posts
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    RyanDS wrote:
    I was continuously shooing kids
    Did a double-take there for a second.
  • up_the_ante 3 Jul 2018 00:40:11 1,019 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    challenge_hanukkah wrote:
    How did you sort it?
    I got in very early and waited for him to arrive, then said i'd sent a personal email to him by mistake and could I delete it from his system. He remarkably agreed and let me sort it whilst he got a cuppa. Still gives me cold sweats occasionally.
    Your boss comes in to find you waiting at his office door and asking to delete an email you sent him and he's not interested in reading it?! That just reminded me of a fretful night I had though.

    My boss got a puncture on his Mercedes one time and he knows nothing about cars, but he knew I tinkered with my car so he asked me to put the spare on. I'd just put the spare on when someone called me back in and I forgot all about it. That night I suddenly shot up in bed trying to remember if I'd tightened the bolts. I didn't know whether to phone him and tell him not to drive it or risk it and check them the next day. Anyway the next morning I was relieved to see his car in the car park with the spare still on. I asked to borrow his car key because I hadn't put the jack away or something. I checked the bolts and they were all loose as hell.
  • Dirtbox 3 Jul 2018 02:13:54 91,097 posts
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    Oh yeah, I nearly got fired for posting here about the Warcraft 3 launch party my work put on and had invited all the journos to. EG were there as well, they have an article about it somewhere. The part that they took offense to was my mentioning that the goodie bag had a keyring with what looked like a vial to keep your chang in.

    Wound up with a week paid leave in the middle of the summer which I spent at the beach.

    Edited by Dirtbox at 02:17:22 03-07-2018
  • cov 3 Jul 2018 07:08:16 1,927 posts
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    I am not leaving the house again with the likes of you lot out there - it's not safe
  • fontgeeksogood 3 Jul 2018 07:20:17 6,052 posts
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    Should I leave the house?
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