Work related fuck ups Page 3

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  • askew 3 Jul 2018 08:22:43 18,215 posts
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    RyanDS wrote:
    At which point they turned around only to see it was a 40 year old midget who just stared at me. The guy she was with just said "Dude! That is harsh" before walking her out. I don't think I have ever felt like that much of a cunt before or since.
    😅 Excellently cringeworthy.
  • dominalien 3 Jul 2018 08:27:01 8,944 posts
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    up_the_ante wrote:

    My boss got a puncture on his Mercedes one time and he knows nothing about cars, but he knew I tinkered with my car so he asked me to put the spare on. I'd just put the spare on when someone called me back in and I forgot all about it. That night I suddenly shot up in bed trying to remember if I'd tightened the bolts. I didn't know whether to phone him and tell him not to drive it or risk it and check them the next day. Anyway the next morning I was relieved to see his car in the car park with the spare still on. I asked to borrow his car key because I hadn't put the jack away or something. I checked the bolts and they were all loose as hell.
    I did that once to my dadís car. He died many years later for unrelated causes.
  • Phattso 3 Jul 2018 10:58:03 24,283 posts
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    I once sent the wrong build of a (pre-iPhone era) mobile game to the rights holder for approval, with a fairly serious bug in it. It was a Hello Kitty game where you got to walk around her town playing mini-games. Her house was fully explorable, and all her fun friends and characters from the world were around to interact with. You got to choose her meals to top up her energy, and sleep to advance time.

    In a given scene the characters would follow Kitty around that area, because that was how you triggered the minigames. The bug was that the follow flag wasn't being unset when a scene concluded, and so as you wandered around town you basically ended up with a conga line of characters following Kitty around.

    So far, so harmless. Then one morning I got an email from the producer with a video attachment. They had wandered around town, dutifully forming the bugged conga line, and then as the sun set had dutifully taken Hello Kitty to bed. All of the characters jumped into bed one by one and appeared to get jiggy with Kitty, and thus began the biggest Sanrio Gang Bang you've ever seen. Needless to say we weren't invited to bid on the sequel.
  • the_milkybar_kid 3 Jul 2018 12:09:36 7,816 posts
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    I did a fuck up yesterday, wasn't as consequential as some of you guys, but missed a month off from the holiday pay for about 60 staff. Phone sure has been busy this morning...
  • Blakester 3 Jul 2018 15:05:24 4,623 posts
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    An ex colleague decided to push his luck with expenses by claiming for meals he took his girlfriend to at michelin starred restaurants......on a Saturday night.......every week for over six months!

    The company was using an outsourced payroll company who failed to pick up on it (as he was forging his manager's signature) so he was able to rack up thousands worth of expenses before the ban-hammer finally came down during an audit.

    He was fired (natch), the police were called, he was marched from the building and a company wide email was circulated naming and shaming the offender (which naturally got forwarded to everyone in the industry) and was subsequently made headline in the local rag.

    Apart from getting caught up in a sexual harassment case, there's not many things that'll destroy a career quicker than fiddling your expenses so blatantly.
  • the_milkybar_kid 3 Jul 2018 15:20:05 7,816 posts
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    Unless you're a politician.
  • Blakester 3 Jul 2018 15:28:28 4,623 posts
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    the_milkybar_kid wrote:
    Unless you're a politician.
    Indeed, that's more of a KPI.
  • simiankid 3 Jul 2018 15:59:52 643 posts
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    Sending HTML emails via mass mailer. It didn't filter for illegal characters. I sent a solid 100 pages of gibberish to 15,000 people. Got a few confused replies and a stern look from evil boss.
  • warlockuk 3 Jul 2018 21:30:47 19,489 posts
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    Phattso wrote:
    All of the characters jumped into bed one by one and appeared to get jiggy with Kitty, and thus began the biggest Sanrio Gang Bang you've ever seen. Needless to say we weren't invited to bid on the sequel.
    Is this the point where the stroke sensor made it even more awkward?

    I seem to recall sending an email to the studio here asking which bastard kept unplugging the phones to use the LAN cable without plugging them back in.

    Except it was actually to all game studios, producers etc across three continents. /clap

    I was still receiving replies and recall failure notifications four months later.
  • Salaman 4 Jul 2018 06:43:54 23,386 posts
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    fontgeeksogood wrote:
    Site Search is fucked but there's some story I think by someone here years ago when they were working at a university in IT support (natch) and they were under a desk dealing with some cables or whatever shit you nerds do, and he heard someone having, uh, significant difficulty expressing themselves and just making a noise rather than talking normally, and, being the wag, he assumed it was one of the IT students being a nerd so said, from under the desk

    "Whoa, easy Chewie"

    Then got up from the desk to see it was a special needs student
    Classic Peej!
  • samyboy 17 Sep 2018 17:22:48 86 posts
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    Well before seeing this thread I thought I am the only who has been fucking up at work, but no. So, yeah I am normal. One thing is for sure my work has been mentally draining for me.
  • mrpon 17 Sep 2018 18:04:41 34,926 posts
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    Yup, completely normal sam.

    Completely.
  • neilka 17 Sep 2018 18:15:43 22,268 posts
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    samyboy wrote:
    One thing is for sure my work has been mentally draining for me.
    This explains a lot.
  • jimnastics 17 Sep 2018 19:09:17 1,493 posts
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    I had a great contract going with a large, government funded corporation about 10 years ago. One day I arrived at their offices in Surrey, got taken by a receptionist to the department the lady I was working with was in, bumped into her boss when I got to the office and he said "hi, she's in the kitchen" to which I came out with "ah, know your place!". It was so fucking horrible, he kind of gasped and she was stood at the office kitchen door just staring out, and the rest of the department was silent. I'm not sexist, it was a stupid off the cuff joke which of course in hindsight was 100% casual sexism.

    That was the last contract project I had with them, I have no idea if what I said that day was a reason for that. It was worth 15 to 20k a year for me. I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about that moment.
  • askew 17 Sep 2018 19:35:55 18,215 posts
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    Eeesh. :D
  • Tomo 17 Sep 2018 19:57:37 16,239 posts
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    Broke the office cafetiere today. Big one that.
  • fontgeeksogood 17 Sep 2018 20:54:30 4,280 posts
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    Someone at work who has a drinking problem we are not supposed to know about, last week (when I was back from vacay): "Hey, I have a lunch today which will make you miss Mexico!" to which my mouth laughed and said "oh yeah? Tequila?" in a jokey, aren't-I-fuckin-funny way before my brain could stop it.

    I really need to stop existing at this point. I'm never gonna get over foot in mouth
  • elstoof 17 Sep 2018 20:57:48 22,168 posts
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    Just the thought of you at a workplace is wild
  • JoeBlade 17 Sep 2018 20:59:00 4,290 posts
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    Tomo wrote:
    Broke the office cafetiere today. Big one that.
    You're a monster!
  • fontgeeksogood 17 Sep 2018 21:08:04 4,280 posts
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    Six credit card insurances doesn't sound like a lot of £ was the beer shit

    Edited by fontgeeksogood at 21:08:33 17-09-2018
  • Tonka 18 Sep 2018 16:13:04 28,853 posts
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    Morning TV host in Sweden said
    "I've got a piece of kryptonite in my cunt" on live TV.

    He was intending to say "In my pocket", similar words in swedish. It was whilst he was segwaying into the cartoons as well.
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