The No-Deal Survival Thread - Rationing, Stockpiling tips. Preppers welcome.

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  • sport 24 Jul 2018 11:17:06 14,607 posts
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    Time to take action. While the shelves are still full this is the perfect time to get a jump on the rest and become the Immortan Joe of your local estate.

    So let's have some guides and tips.

    Here's a quick flatbread recipe - https://www.bbc.com/food/recipes/quick_flatbreads_43123

    Perfect for frying on a camping stove during those long blackouts.
  • THFourteen 24 Jul 2018 11:19:43 49,826 posts
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    As we were driving home yesterday my wife actually said to me "we should make a list of all the things we need for the kids in case something happens".

    WTF.
  • disusedgenius 24 Jul 2018 11:22:21 9,357 posts
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    Put all your money into those gold coins they have in John Wick.
  • neilka 24 Jul 2018 11:24:42 21,926 posts
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    I've filled my bath with Technogel in anticipation of becoming de facto ruler of the post-apocalyptic hellscape.
  • challenge_hanukkah 24 Jul 2018 11:24:55 8,000 posts
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    I'm stock piling bog roll.

    It'll become the new currency when the pound collapses.
  • Dirtbox 24 Jul 2018 11:28:51 90,863 posts
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    Wishing you guys the best in the coming famine.

  • sport 24 Jul 2018 11:36:23 14,607 posts
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    It's gonna be survival of the fittest, so here's a helpful guide on turning that stationery bike into a generator.

    https://imgur.com/a/o3Tbv8R
  • AboutHalfaStevas 24 Jul 2018 11:39:01 1,000 posts
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    Remember, guns need ammo, better to weapon up on something which doesn't, i.e. a baseball bat with a nail in it.

    Wait... That's from the zombie survival handbook.

    Fuck it, close enough.
  • ZuluHero 24 Jul 2018 11:44:21 6,683 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Here's a quick flatbread recipe - https://www.bbc.com/food/recipes/quick_flatbreads_43123
    I'd be fine until I needed an adult's help...
  • fontgeeksogood 24 Jul 2018 11:49:23 2,809 posts
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    If you put a nail through a baseball bat it will weaken it considerably. You're better off with a couple of one-piece metal hammers for longevity and use in the inevitable Purge
  • StarchildHypocrethes 24 Jul 2018 11:49:56 31,857 posts
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    Don't forget a bread bin.
  • sport 24 Jul 2018 12:00:07 14,607 posts
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    Jesus, I forgot about the flasks too!
  • Salaman 24 Jul 2018 12:01:30 23,255 posts
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    If worse comes to worse, you can try crossing the Channel and join in with the other refugees near Calais.

    Oh wait, that would make you immigrants and we don't want them.
  • sport 24 Jul 2018 12:08:32 14,607 posts
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    Salaman wrote:
    If worse comes to worse, you can try crossing the Channel and join in with the other refugees near Calais.
    If anyone is interested in doing this, there's a cracking deal on Amazon at the moment.
  • thelzdking 24 Jul 2018 12:23:00 8,553 posts
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    Gas mask, hockey mask or motorcycle helmet?
  • elstoof 24 Jul 2018 12:25:22 21,348 posts
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    The smart ones are gradually building up their tolerance to drinking urine as a main fluid source once the water supplies shut down
  • ZuluHero 24 Jul 2018 12:31:36 6,683 posts
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    I'm trying that with sea water - there's plenty of that...
  • Load_2.0 24 Jul 2018 12:35:07 28,007 posts
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    It's a common misconception that you profit from core necessities.

    The real money is in exotic items. The European Colon Snake trade for example will keep me in jam and toilet paper for decades.
  • ZuluHero 24 Jul 2018 12:38:31 6,683 posts
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    What about the semicolon snake sub-markets? Is there much of a toilet paper margin in that?
  • Load_2.0 24 Jul 2018 12:55:33 28,007 posts
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    The returns are on a par but the overheads! Semicolons or SCS (The trade reference) are similar to Jaffa cakes in that they straddle several market segments.
  • Fake_Blood 24 Jul 2018 13:03:50 8,971 posts
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    If I only stockpile guns I can just steal all other supplies from you preppers right?
  • challenge_hanukkah 24 Jul 2018 13:06:25 8,000 posts
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    Start breeding.

    You can always eat the leftover kids you can't sell into slavery.
  • Dizzy 24 Jul 2018 13:23:27 3,670 posts
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    I am renting out a boat to mainland Europe for 10000000 euro an hour, you guys are all welcome!!! ;)

    Also beers are 1000 euro and beds at my place go for a respectable 10 euro/day*


    OH, sorry we don't accept .








    * you will have to work 16 hours a day.

    Edited by Dizzy at 13:25:56 24-07-2018

    Edited by Dizzy at 13:27:14 24-07-2018
  • minky-kong 24 Jul 2018 14:18:31 13,951 posts
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    I'm stocking up on African Farmers so I can flood the marketplace with them once hard brexit is unleashed by our glorious leader.
  • neilka 24 Jul 2018 16:51:34 21,926 posts
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    If only we knew some kind of melon farmer.
  • Frogofdoom 24 Jul 2018 16:53:15 10,111 posts
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    https://io9.gizmodo.com/5931901/recipes-for-the-post-apocalypse-how-and-why-to-eat-rat-meat
  • magicpanda 24 Jul 2018 17:02:17 14,744 posts
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    I'll be naked, slathered in Goose fat and living in the Sewers. All I need is my Blunderbuss and a herd of piglets.
  • Jono62 24 Jul 2018 17:04:53 20,944 posts
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    I'm stocking up on protein shakes. Got to keep the guns fed, bro.
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