SPACE FORCE

  • AboutHalfaStevas 9 Aug 2018 18:07:16 2,765 posts
    Seen 1 year ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    So some of you may be aware, I'm big time into my old shmups; I still remember the first time I seen this running on the old, beaten up megadrive, hidden away in the corner of the army surplus shop which was, at the time, only just starting out in what became an extremely lucrative sideline of importing videogames (so much so it went on to deal exclusively in games, becoming a northern chain - Charlie's Games - and, in doing so, inspired the likes of the now defunct Grainger Games). I was immediately enchanted by the bright green of the aliens, and the deep purples of the lasers used to combat them; at the time, I remember, wondering if humanity would ever get to the point where this garish nightmare could become sort-of-reality - whether we would witness an age where battle among the stars would be more than merely a feverish form of entertainment for the gratification of not-quite-adults...

    WELL, IN YOUR FACE, MUM, BECAUSE NOW I CAN ACTUALLY JOIN UP AND DO THIS. That's, right, none of that actually happened, motherfuckers... I made it all up. Well, apart from the shops. There was a Charlie's. And a Charlie. And it was, bizarrely, army surplus (though, perhaps, in retrospect, not that bizzarely). Nice fella, for a Geordie wide boy. And there probably was a videogame. It was possibly even called Space Force, I don't know, fuck me, look... Yes, now you ask, the lasers were purple, and.. no, look - oh FUCK YOU ALREADY TOO, BUDDY, I...

    ANYWAY, SCREW THIS BREXIT SHIT, IMMA GONNA GO SIGN UP AND SHOOT ALL THE PROPER ALIENS INNA FACE.
    IN MOTHERFUCKING SPACE, YO.

    That's right, you might not like him, but Trump gets shit done! He suggests there should be a Space Force (I'm guessing the name is a work in progress)? Boom! Done.

    So fuck, y'all. I'll be on the next plane outta this shit hole to sign up. About damn time my shmup skilzorz were put to good use.
    Make
    Earth
    Great
    Again






    [Eventually]
    Space Force entrance exam. Answer all the question. You have one hour.
    Question 1: do you know how to fix a satellite?
  • neilka 9 Aug 2018 18:19:54 24,021 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 16 years ago
    Spack Farts (potential sequel)
  • Your-Mother 9 Aug 2018 18:26:09 8,172 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Sounds like a fun romp
  • AboutHalfaStevas 9 Aug 2018 18:33:47 2,765 posts
    Seen 1 year ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    To be clear, this is neither a videogame or a film.

    As is unfortunately often the case nowadays, my dribblings coincide with actual real fucking life.

    America has jumped the shark.
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