Planning a camping trip.

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  • Rodimus-Prime 6 Sep 2019 08:37:45 373 posts
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    I've made a pal at work who is a little bit outdoorsy and has wanted to try his hand at surviving in the wild for a while, so we're looking at going to a place on the west coast of Scotland called Ladhar Bhienn for 7-10 days in early February.

    I'm into the idea- i've survived in Mordor, on Mars and under the sea... but all in video games, so my survival experience is somewhat questionable and so far all of the tentative preparation has been done by him.

    So it would be good if i could bring something to the table. We've ordered a tent and ten days worth of MREs, and will basically park in a free car park close by and hike into the mountainy bit. Just two guys out in the wild, chilling.

    What gear do i need? Both to survive and make the most of a trip like this. Any good advice i could use to seem less like i'm going to need to be carried to safety would be really helpful.

    I've already ordered a hatchet and a survival knife, and have asked my mum to sew the holster into the handle on my backpack (when i get an appropriate one) so i have it close to hand in case i need to fight a wolf or something.
  • elstoof 6 Sep 2019 08:40:37 25,589 posts
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    Take enough lube to last the whole weekend
  • Rodimus-Prime 6 Sep 2019 08:41:52 373 posts
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    Ang Lee really did make it difficult for two ruggedly handsome men to go camping. I already heard all the jokes when i asked my manager for the time off.
  • mrpon 6 Sep 2019 08:45:42 36,139 posts
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    Have a trial run in your back garden first to see if you really fancy each other or not.
  • Alastair 6 Sep 2019 08:45:52 24,223 posts
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    If I've learnt anything in life, it's that you can learn skills from YouTube.
    Try this playlist for starters...
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxnadpeGdTxBqUjgb60isxg1sLCb1soDR
  • challenge_hanukkah 6 Sep 2019 08:49:17 12,663 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Have a trial run in your back garden first to see if you really fancy each other or not.
    Glol
  • elstoof 6 Sep 2019 08:50:52 25,589 posts
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    :D
  • askew 6 Sep 2019 08:51:03 21,339 posts
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    7-10 days for your first trip.

    Settle on a number and let that woman you like at work know when youíre expected back, and where you are going, so the poor sods who rescue you donít have to put too much effort in.
  • elstoof 6 Sep 2019 08:52:43 25,589 posts
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    Someone bookmark the thread so we can remember who we're watching getting airlifted off a Scottish hillside on the news next February
  • RichDC 6 Sep 2019 08:53:57 8,817 posts
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    Get your mum to make you some sandwiches and buy some beer when she's done with your sewing.
  • elstoof 6 Sep 2019 08:56:29 25,589 posts
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    Also not sure if taking 10 days worth of ready meals really counts as surviving in the wild, but hey ho. Take a couple of large portable batteries to charge your Switch, a cigarette charger to top those up and put the tent close to the car to save having to walk back too far
  • Rodimus-Prime 6 Sep 2019 08:58:38 373 posts
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    To clarify: that is ten days of MREs between us. We'd have to ration it depending on how successfully we are able to hunt.

    My friend and i initially bonded over a love of Playstation and Friday Night Dinner. We've played a lot of co-op games, including most recently Ghost Recon: Wildlands - which we platinum-ed.

    At some point over the last few months, we kind of thought 'life is passing us by - why not go out and have some adventures in the real world'.

    So we're gonna do it. First Scotland, and if we like it, we will go again to other places like Denmark and Peru.

    My brother recently did one of those ancestry tests, so i know that the blood of a viking flows through my veins. I strongly suspect that i can survive in Scotland, and look forward to testing myself in a land that the mighty Romans considered the edge of the world.

    Edited by Rodimus-Prime at 09:04:25 06-09-2019
  • askew 6 Sep 2019 09:04:45 21,339 posts
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    Whoever owns this sock is pretty good.
  • Decks Best Forumite, 2016 6 Sep 2019 09:04:48 24,444 posts
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    The main things to remember when camping are;

    Believe in yourself. Learn the area layout. Investigate local food sources. Manage your drinking water. Prepare Prepare Prepare.

    Believe
    Learn
    Investigate
    Manage
    Prepare
  • JamboWayOh 6 Sep 2019 09:06:12 18,852 posts
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    Well you won't need any poppers as I think the high altitudes will do the job for you.
  • neilka 6 Sep 2019 09:08:24 23,282 posts
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    Dead within the first hour
  • RelaxedMikki 6 Sep 2019 09:17:53 3,214 posts
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    Sounds great. Here's what I would say:

    1. Have some kind of plan, route or destination. Just camping in one area sounds like it will get a bit boring. Having an objective (get to point X, or climb the tallest five peaks in area y, or whatever) will make it more fun.
    2. Take loads of transparent Ziploc bags of different sizes. They are great for keeping things separate and dry in your pack.
    3. I would take acid rather than mushrooms for this trip. Mushrooms can be a bit moorish and things can get really weird really quickly. But a full on trip in the middle of the stay should be great.

    Have fun 😁
  • Rodimus-Prime 6 Sep 2019 09:23:45 373 posts
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    We've mapped out a 100mile route which will take us up and over five mountains, so the plan is to move every day.

    However, if there is one thing i learned in Bolivia whilst taking down El Sueno, it's that often things are more fun when your carefully laid plans go wrong and you have to adapt or perish (and sit through a long loading screen while the checkpoint boots up).

    We probably won't do any drugs, but he is bringing some cigars we will smoke when we get to the top of our first mountain.

    At the request of my colleagues, we'll be filming some of the more manly things we do on the trip so that will probably make the cut. I also want to shave my beard with my knife in a stream.
  • TheSaint 6 Sep 2019 09:27:58 19,486 posts
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    This all seems like a lot of hard work. Couldn't you just stay in a Travelodge with the heating off?
  • JamboWayOh 6 Sep 2019 09:30:58 18,852 posts
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    TheSaint wrote:
    This all seems like a lot of hard work. Couldn't you just stay in a Travelodge with the heating off?
    I don't know, rough anal sex isn't as good if you're not using fresh morning dew as a lubricant.
  • Alastair 6 Sep 2019 09:33:31 24,223 posts
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    JamboWayOh wrote:

    I don't know, rough anal sex isn't as good if you're not using fresh morning dew as a lubricant.
    Is this your experience?
  • JamboWayOh 6 Sep 2019 09:36:17 18,852 posts
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    Alastair wrote:
    JamboWayOh wrote:

    I don't know, rough anal sex isn't as good if you're not using fresh morning dew as a lubricant.
    Is this your experience?
    No, I'm not a massive fan of camping so it's the sachets of conditioner from the Travelodge bathroom for me.
  • RelaxedMikki 6 Sep 2019 09:37:01 3,214 posts
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    I really miss proper wild camping and the total freedom that comes with having everything you need carried on your back.

    Still go camping quite a lot, but it is a different experience with the wife and kids. Can never get more than about half a mile from wherever the car is parked...
  • Rodimus-Prime 6 Sep 2019 09:39:57 373 posts
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    To quote the great Richard Richard... (directed at everyone making homosexual jokes)... you sad pathetic urban pustules.

    We're going out there to explore the great wilds of Britain, to clear our minds (which have been addled by years of being a part of the rat race) and to test the limits of what is possible.

    We were expecting to challenge ourselves, not other people's sexual stereotypes.
  • macmurphy 6 Sep 2019 09:42:20 4,274 posts
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    Ok so youíre not going to catch fuck all. So have enough food for whole journey. That will be a lot (weight) any chance you could stash some and pick it up on your way round.

    You wonít need a hatchet or a knife or any of that bollocks. Make sure your boots are good with lots of spare dry socks. Have a small bottle of talc. Have zinc oxide tape and compeed for feet. You need like two trousers two tops. One for outside tent one for inside. Spare pants. Decent waterproofs. Decent waterproof hat. Decent gloves. Decent warm jacket like a snug pack. Map. Compass. Comfy backpack.

    Make sure your tent is small and light. Make sure you have a decent roll mat/thermarest. Make sure your sleeping bag is right season.

    Youíll need puritabs to collect fresh water, Iíd recommend two water bottles. Stove between 2 - jetboils are good. Enough gas. Maybe 4 canisters?

    Spare lighters. Cigarettes/cigars plus spare. Take some weed, why would you not.

    More than anything plan your routes and have a plan for injury/issues - mountain rescue numbers, survival bags, spare GPS maybe? Donít just walk in a straight line, youíll end up in a boggy morass/river.

    Maybe a small medkit - mostly I think theyíre a waste of time as they never get used but a few plasters and some antiseptic for small cuts is nice.

    Some sort of washkit - obviously toothbrush and toothpaste and some soap and a flannel. Youíre going to be recycling clothes so you wonít need to be super clean but itís nice to have a quick wash in the morning.

    I canít remember whatís in an MRE but check first - you can then ditch unwanted stuff and maybe add some things you like. T-bags, decent coffee.

    You can get by with small head torch - they last ages. Maybe a camping lantern for tent at night.

    Best advice is look after your feet always. Keep kit as light as possible. Waterproof case for maps and phones. Contact numbers and escape routes in case of emergencies. Try a short trip first - three days. See what works and what doesnít, what you use and what you donít.
  • elstoof 6 Sep 2019 09:42:23 25,589 posts
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    West Scotland hillsides in February are going to be the very definition of dreich
  • Dougs 6 Sep 2019 09:45:21 93,664 posts
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    All good advice mac, which I suspect will be completely ignored and Mr Els is proved right with a mountain rescue.
  • KnuttinAtoll 6 Sep 2019 09:45:34 8,107 posts
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    elstoof wrote:
    Someone bookmark the thread so we can remember who we're watching getting airlifted off a Scottish hillside on the news next February
    After he broke his back on that mountain?
  • macmurphy 6 Sep 2019 09:45:50 4,274 posts
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    Also make sure all clothes are waterproof - get a canoe bag and some smaller stuff sacks. Great for keeping kit organised. A jelly Hansen type top for getting rid of moisture is good as base layer. A couple of layers are always good as more options to reduce/increase heat.
  • JamboWayOh 6 Sep 2019 09:46:48 18,852 posts
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    KnuttinAtoll wrote:
    elstoof wrote:
    Someone bookmark the thread so we can remember who we're watching getting airlifted off a Scottish hillside on the news next February
    After he broke his back on that mountain?
    I see what you did there...

    Edited by JamboWayOh at 09:47:13 06-09-2019
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