NaNoWriMo 2019 Page 2

  • rice_sandwich 4 Nov 2019 15:16:53 5,837 posts
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    I'm on 5000 words so far, with various scenes introducing some characters and plot threads. Using YWriter this year.
  • wuntyphyve 4 Nov 2019 15:20:37 13,145 posts
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    I haven't written anything yet by by god I'm starting to think about the possibility of maybe making a start at some point.

    Fuck. I've done it again this year.
  • sunjumper 4 Nov 2019 15:52:36 3,524 posts
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    splosh wrote:
    Well here's my efforts. I'll try and get some feedback done for other people in the thread too.

    Chapter One
    Just read it. There are a few confusing parts in it where it seems that you were writing about things that are about to happen. (e.g. you mention the barman before the protagonist leaves the taxi) but those are typical NaNoWriMo phenomena. I am guilty of them myself.
    Your metaphore ladden style is strange, but works well for the story. Everything feels rundown, dark and more complicated than it should be, which fits the narrative very well so far.

    Looking forward to read more.
  • sunjumper 4 Nov 2019 15:54:39 3,524 posts
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    wuntyphyve wrote:
    I haven't written anything yet by by god I'm starting to think about the possibility of maybe making a start at some point.

    Fuck. I've done it again this year.
    The month is still long and despite what the NaNo "rules" state, this really isn't a competition. Just sit down and write, no matter how little it is, it will infintely more than nothing. (And I have read your stuff, you can write)
  • sunjumper 4 Nov 2019 15:55:51 3,524 posts
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    rice_sandwich wrote:
    I'm on 5000 words so far, with various scenes introducing some characters and plot threads. Using YWriter this year.
    Are you going to share at some point or do you plean to work in the shadows?


    @all sorry for the multi posts but this way everyone gets his/her personal answer.
  • rice_sandwich 4 Nov 2019 16:15:31 5,837 posts
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    @sunjumper

    I'll post once I have the initial threads woven into the proper start of the story. Fortunately the various character intros can go in any order in the lead up to things kicking off. Theme is a generic fantasy inspired by books like Journey to the West and The Story of the Stone (which is a tremendous book that I highly recommend).

    Edited by rice_sandwich at 16:16:47 04-11-2019
  • wuntyphyve 4 Nov 2019 17:17:33 13,145 posts
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    @sunjumper Thanks man. I will try to write something! I do have the inkling of an idea, it's just down to laziness...
  • rice_sandwich 4 Nov 2019 18:06:39 5,837 posts
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    Ok, first part up:

    http://ricesandwich.simplesite.com/444050777
  • rice_sandwich 4 Nov 2019 18:34:31 5,837 posts
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    @sunjumper

    Prologue read. A nice quick setup for some further mysteries it seems. Not much to say at this early stage but I'm interested to see where the story goes.
  • rice_sandwich 4 Nov 2019 18:36:36 5,837 posts
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    @splosh

    An original setup with who knows what, possibly supernatural hijinks forthcoming. I am not mad keen on using so many adjectives but that's just me. Nothing wrong with it in general. Keep going.
  • splosh 5 Nov 2019 13:53:38 306 posts
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    @sunjumper @ricesandwich Thanks for the feedback

    Read both of yours now. Rice_Sandwich. I'm intrigued by this Nan character and her mystic abilities though the line about the ghoul sucking her face seemed a bit odd to me. However I like the sense of family history, a vague mentor figure and her doubts. A good start with an intriguing ending.


    @Sunjumper So is this Xalia some type of planetary scribe who can jot down the entire history of a planet or is she something more. I'm intrigued, I'd like to know a little more about whats going on but hopefully all will be revealed. Good stuff. Keep it up folks here's my weird effort for today.

    Daytime Viewing
  • rice_sandwich 5 Nov 2019 15:01:49 5,837 posts
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    @splosh

    Well, the story has kicked off in all sorts of directions. I enjoyed the candy story, background and all of the little details. Looks like anything could happen next.
  • rice_sandwich 6 Nov 2019 06:15:44 5,837 posts
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    Zero words written yesterday. I'll try to get back on track today.
  • fontgeeksogood 6 Nov 2019 06:26:36 7,565 posts
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    I'm writing a slashfic novella called Fuzzy And The Travellers
  • jrmat 6 Nov 2019 10:51:32 122 posts
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    Well I've caved in and decided to rewrite a short story I wrote almost last year. It was my first attempt to write anything since school, so it was pretty poor. My second attempt I think is an improvement. Will post when it's ready.
  • JoelStinty 6 Nov 2019 12:17:24 8,278 posts
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    Been away over the last few days so will catch up with peopleís work over the next day or so and hopefully post some of my own
  • JoelStinty 6 Nov 2019 19:50:31 8,278 posts
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    Well here are my first couple of thousand words. I haven't really set out where the story is going there, just introducing two characters really.

    Chapter One and Two
  • splosh 7 Nov 2019 14:58:37 306 posts
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    Here's the latest.

    Whitey
  • sunjumper 7 Nov 2019 15:36:54 3,524 posts
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    Oh nice! It is good to see that so many of you decided to join the fray.

    I'm still swamped with work and life in general but I think that starting tomorrow I'll be back writing and reading and giving feedback. Good to know that there is now quite a bit to look forward to.
  • JoelStinty 8 Nov 2019 12:38:51 8,278 posts
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    sunjumper wrote:
    splosh wrote:
    Well here's my efforts. I'll try and get some feedback done for other people in the thread too.

    Chapter One
    Just read it. There are a few confusing parts in it where it seems that you were writing about things that are about to happen. (e.g. you mention the barman before the protagonist leaves the taxi) but those are typical NaNoWriMo phenomena. I am guilty of them myself.
    Your metaphore ladden style is strange, but works well for the story. Everything feels rundown, dark and more complicated than it should be, which fits the narrative very well so far.

    Looking forward to read more.
    I would agree with that. You certainly get the atmosphere of your piece down well. It is probably a little metaphor and descriptive heavy but again as a first draft and getting words down on the paper thatís fine, but something to look at. Also I donít think a couple of them quite work (bird and lightbulb) But again that is something you can iron out
  • sunjumper 8 Nov 2019 23:32:02 3,524 posts
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    It took me long enough but here is Chapter 1.
  • jrmat 10 Nov 2019 20:44:14 122 posts
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    Me too.

    Chapter 1 is up. This was my first short story, almost a year ago, which I'm rewriting. Thoughts are welcome. You're able to add comments, so knock yourself out :)

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eskQztSYEHQ-VPc6AojEjAzhpvKvwUP3mxuI5NoThhU/edit?usp=sharing
  • sunjumper 11 Nov 2019 00:44:21 3,524 posts
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    Getting closer to 5k. Deciding not to get stressed by the number of words I need to write has helped immensely with enjoying to write this story. While this started as a few ideas quickly duct taped together I am enjoying this strange new universe and the people within it.

    Here is Chapter 1 continued.

    I think the next entry will still be Chapter one and after that maybe a bit of a plot twist?
  • sunjumper 11 Nov 2019 01:15:19 3,524 posts
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    I will give feedback to the others tomorrow. Tonight I only have time for one and I will work my way through the thread chronologically.

    @rice_sandwich
    Encounter At Heron Lake
    I like the introduction, the calm atmosphere and the feeling of this night. Nan is interesting pretty muich from the start and you manage to put a lot of world building into your description. The exposition is well woven into the whole.
    It is really on the cusp of being poetic. With some polish you can make this opening shine.
    The dialogue is a bit opaque, but again the scene is good, I like how it escalates into the fight and at least I did not know how this all would end. As you had sowed enough seeds for both a tragic ending or a close call.
    The end is a very interesting cliffhanger. In the end I like the world and I am extremely curious to see how this continues.
  • sunjumper 11 Nov 2019 18:15:48 3,524 posts
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    Time for some more feedback

    @splosh
    Daytime Viewing
    The style has shifted. The new scene is very interesting, contrasting the strange envy fueled banality of Carolyn with the bizarre banality of the TV show. As with the last chapter you are really good at painting a picture that feels corroded and rotten.

    "[...] wallflower neither failing or excelling at anything. Perhaps college would have plucked her to be planted into a civilization where she could find a spot to bloom [...]" that bit is really nice.


    The story of Carolyn and Ike is very cool and different. Also the first time the narrative doesn't feel grimy.
    The contrast between past and present is very strong. Somehow the present feels derelict.
    And that is a very strange love live they have.

    Suds is strange no really sure what to make of him yet.
    A strange choir to welcome a birth...
    A birth that is even stranger.

    What a ride.
    Very strange, very different, very enjoyable.
  • JoelStinty 12 Nov 2019 19:32:26 8,278 posts
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    I'm still typing away. Actually really enjoing this year. I've broken that barrier at the start, and find I can write away now for a good hour or so (With some minor distractions) quite easily. Writing my third chapter which Is longer than the first two combined and I still yet to finish it.

    Written 4300 odd word so far, loads to go, but getting there!

    Edited by JoelStinty at 19:33:00 12-11-2019
  • sunjumper 13 Nov 2019 00:52:52 3,524 posts
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    I hate work so much. I have hardly any time left to do anything.
    However I sat down again to day, because I'll be damned if I don't do at least some writing...

    And I actually manged to write a bit over 1k.

    Chapter 1 goes on.

    To my utter surprise I don't hate what I'm writing. That's new...
  • splosh 13 Nov 2019 02:45:17 306 posts
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    Number Four

    Slow going so far...

    @sunjumper Thanks for the feedback. I'm more or less caught up with yours.
    I'd like to know a little bit about the physical appearance of the characters a little more. While their personalities are coming across I'd like something to help me generate a mental image of them. That might just be me though.

    I think for the first time Xalia uses her power is a little too brief. So while the character has probably done this a thousand times or more it's the readers first encounter with it so maybe a little more of how this might affect her physically or how other people see her when she does this. Even changing the point of view to Quopka for a while as he witnesses this.

    I'm curious to see where this is going. Keep it up.
  • jrmat 13 Nov 2019 07:51:24 122 posts
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    JoelStinty wrote:
    Well here are my first couple of thousand words. I haven't really set out where the story is going there, just introducing two characters really.

    Chapter One and Two
    I'm really interested to see where you go with the characters. You totally get the sense they're at sea and I like the interactions between them. Perhaps a little wordy at times, maybe just my person pref, but shaping up nicely.

    I don't wish to bang the 'show, don't tell' drum but in the odd place perhaps that could work a bit more, e.g. "The wind ruffled her hair, she felt the wind on her face and she could taste the salt on her lips. A swell of excitement swelled in her stomach and a smile spread across her face.", maybe something more along the lines of "She grinned as her heart raced, the taste of salt on her lips and the wind ruffling her hair as..." but better than that, you get the idea. Just a thought, feel free to ignore :)
  • jrmat 13 Nov 2019 23:09:20 122 posts
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    This is almost certainly famous last words but my short story is finished. Feedback welcome.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eskQztSYEHQ-VPc6AojEjAzhpvKvwUP3mxuI5NoThhU/edit?usp=drivesdk
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